


One Year Ago, Today

by rookiehedgewitch



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, College, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Identity Reveal, Kwami Swap, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 53,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23097376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rookiehedgewitch/pseuds/rookiehedgewitch
Summary: Ever since Marinette made the difficult decision to give up the Ladybug Miraculous, life was exactly what she'd hoped it would be. She was making waves in the fashion scene, she was closer than ever with her friends, and she could have sworn Adrien was flirting with her.But when a new villain pulls her back into the fray, she has to make a choice about how she wants to live her life.Updates every Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 140
Kudos: 250





	1. Present

Today was like all others. Marinette woke exactly with her alarm clock, stretching out her long freckled limbs in the pale blue morning. She rolled out of bed, setting one foot, and then the other, onto the cold floor. 

She was quiet as she changed into her running clothes, her morning routine set to the quiet sounds of shuffling and scuffing and the occasional squeak. 

She stood at the door, making sure she had everything, before calling over her shoulder: “Bye Tikki, be back in a bit!” She looked back, and giggled as the hamster sniffed at the air.  
Today was like any other day, she reminded herself as she set out on her route. 

She paced herself down to the river, and fell in line with all the other runners that now dotted the riverbank. She listened to music as she ran, but took very little notice of what was playing. More often than not, Marinette let herself get so lost in thought that she ran right past the halfway mark on her run. Normally she thought about designs, or schoolwork, or what she’d make for breakfast. But today she just thought of him. Did he wake up and think about what day it was? Or had the date slipped from his memory and into obscurity? Most of her, nearly all of her, hoped that he had. But a very small, almost nonexistent part of her, hoped that he hadn’t. 

Today was like any other day. The reminder forced Marinette back into her body. As Marinette turned at her halfway mark, her mind drifted through other thoughts, her legs carrying her back to her apartment. 

As she entered the bakery, she greeted her dad with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Good morning, papa.” She said, getting herself a cup of coffee. 

“Are you still planning on getting dinner with friends tonight?” Her father said as he busied himself with grabbing several loaves of bread for Madame Peillon. 

“I think so! But you know how it can go.”

“Things do come up suddenly with those three.” Marinette ignored his suggestive tone, and sipped her coffee.

“They’re all busy people, papa. And so am I.” With a wink, Marinette sprung up the steps to their apartment, breezing past her mom with a quick good morning. 

“There are meals in the fridge for Adrien, bring some to him.” Sabine called.

“Thanks mum!” Back in her bedroom, Marinette went about the business of getting ready for the day. Tikki needed lettuce and new water, Marinette’s bed needed making, and coffee desperately needed drinking. 

As Marinette took the bus to class, she caught a glimpse of the willow at the tip of Ile de la Cite. It was in full bloom, sending off petals with each gust of wind. It looked exactly as it had a year ago. She remembered how those petals kept getting into Chat’s hair. She’d wanted to reach out to brush them away from his unruly blond locks. She’d wanted to reach out and comfort him somehow. But she knew it wasn’t the time. And, unfortunately, it was the last time. 

Marinette always arrived earlier than the other students. First one in, last one out, her professors joked. She situated herself in the studio, bringing her long hair into a quick braid to keep the hair out of her face. She fell into her work, and luckily it was enough to keep her thoughts occupied. So occupied, in fact, that she didn’t see the person standing inches away from her, calling her name, until they waved a cup of coffee under her nose. The aroma startled Marinette out of her concentration. 

“Earth to space cadet?” Chloe Bourgeois huffed. 

“Sorry Chloe! Thanks for the coffee.” She took it, inhaling deeply, letting the steam rise to kiss her cheeks. 

“It’s wrong how much you like school, you know.” 

“I know, I know.” Marinette chuckled, slinging her backpack over her shoulders and tucking her work neatly away. “Ready for class?”

“It’s been a year, you know.” Chloe said as they walked down the now busy halls. Marinette tried not to wince at the mention. 

“Don’t expect any sympathy from me, missy. You’re not the only one who’s got issues, you know.” This is what Marinette liked best about Chloe. And yes she was still awe struck by the fact that she’d say that phrase. Sentiment wasn’t something the blonde did well, and she was honest about it. Marinette liked that.

“Please, do, tell me about your issues.” It had been a joke, but Chloe went on to tell Marinette all about how Sabrina had had to miss their dinner for some so called emergency. 

“As if anything could be more important than me, her loving, beautiful, caring girlfriend!” She tossed her long mane of hair behind her back.

“Oh, Chloe, I’m sure Sabrina was absolutely miserable as she was running scripts for Scarlet Johansson.” Marinette liked to see how sarcastic she could get before Chloe noticed. 

“I know! Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.” And thus far, she hadn’t found an upper limit to sarcasm that Chloe wouldn’t interpret to be serious.

But Marinette couldn’t call Chloe stupid. The girl was anything but. As Marinette had learned on the last day of high school, when Chloe cornered Marinette and told Marinette that she knew her little secret. 

“How did you know?” Marinette asked later on, after the animosity had faded away enough to make room for curiosity.

“You think I wouldn’t have conducted a thorough investigation into who my idol was? Honestly, Marinette… I should have been Ladybug.”

“Ugh, I wish you had been.”

They’d just arrived at Chloe’s class, when the siren went off. Parisians had become familiar with the sound, and at this point, the response had become almost automatic. The students in the halls all changed course, filing down the stairs, towards the basement of the school.

But Marinette and Chloe didn’t move with the flow of their fellow students. They shared a look, before scurrying towards the opposite staircase. 

The akuma siren had been put in place a year before, when Hawkmoth had resurfaced and the akuma attacks had become more relentless. Rather than leaving its citizens to run, scrambling like chickens with their heads cut off, Paris had set up specific rules to determine what would happen once an akuma had been spotted. 

But Chloe and Marinette knew better. They found their way to the roof, and sipped their coffees under a beautiful blue sky, and watched the action unfold. 

“He’s going for Notre Dame, isn’t he.” Chloe said, observing as a giant monster made of fried food hulked through the city. 

“They always go for the monuments. If I were akumatized and I really wanted to get their attention, I’d find my way to the media outlets. Quicker to spread the info and catch their notice.” Marinette noted. 

“I like the monuments. It’s a certain classy flair.”

“You mean dramatic. Oh, and here he is.” Marinette pointed at a small black figure, bounding atop the rooftops, towards the figure. The girls watched as he launched himself at the monster, only to be swatted away.

“He always does that. Launch a full frontal attack. No element of surprise, no tactics. Just hoping to get a good whack on the akuma’s head.” Marinette commented. 

“And here she comes!” Chloe was giddy, as a flash of red and black appeared out of nowhere, bringing the monster to its knees. 

Ladybug. Or, well, Ladybird. 

As the two girls commented on the fight, Marinette realized, for the first time in a year, she watched the fight with the passive interest of a distant observer. 

Today was not like any other. It was a big day. 

Today marked one year since she’d given up the ladybug miraculous, and retired from the superhero game forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladybird was inspired by Lunian's designs (https://lunian.tumblr.com/post/188839665594/galaxy-brain-is-when-you-redesign-own-fanon)
> 
> Also, I'm realizing that this story diverges from canon in some particular ways. I started writing this a year or two ago, when the show was at a different place. So here's some helpful hints:
> 
> 1) In this universe, the only miraculous given out (other than the Ladybug and Black Cat) were the Turtle miraculous and the Bee miraculous. So Carapace is still in the story, and Queen Bee is referenced, but Rena Rouge, and any of the other heroes are not present.
> 
> 2) I'm assuming they're in high school. I guess the show takes place when they're in middle school, but I'm aging them up.
> 
> 3) Again, because I started writing this a while ago, I didn't know they'd introduce Felix as a real (awful) character. Felix and Brigitte will play a different role in this story, because I love them.
> 
> 4) Marinette and Adrien have never kwami-swapped in this story, so they don't know each others' kwamis. 
> 
> And that's it! I might add a few later, but I wanted to save anyone some confusion.


	2. Three Years Ago

Marinette couldn’t remember the last time she’d been on time for school. As she rolled into class, feeling quite good about herself, it took her a minute to notice the change in the class’s demeanor. Everyone, including Chloe and Sabrina, was huddled around Alya.

“Hey, Kim, what’s going on?” She tried to whisper, but failed miserably. The entire class heard, and went silent for a minute.

“Classic Marinette. Always the last to figure out what’s going on.” Chloe sneered.

“Girl, you haven’t heard? Adrien’s dad was arrested.” Alya’s eyes were as round as moons behind her glasses.

“What? How? Why? Is Adrien ok?” Marinette stammered, feeling questions do cartwheels in her mind.

“Some reporter snuck into the mansion and was snooping around, and apparently found some totally creepy basement by accident. It was like some temple or something, and at the middle was Adrien’s mom! I guess Gabriel had been keeping her in a coma or something.”

“Alya, we can’t hear!” Sabrina complained. Marinette squeezed into her seat, and stared wide-eyed at the tiny screen. She listened to the terrible details of the discovery, and the photos that the journalist had taken.

“Emilie Agreste’s body has been taken to the hospital and Gabriel Agreste remains in custody. We’ve received no comment from his son, Adrien Agreste. It begs the question, might the heir to the Agreste fortune have known about his father’s dirty secret? Stay tuned for more!”

“What? No! Adrien definitely didn’t know!” Marinette burst out before she could help herself.

“Yeah, I’m with Marinette. Adrien’s dad told him jack shit. No way he knew.” Nino nodded.

“I don’t know guys… It seems crazy that Adrien’s mom was right under the house the entire time, and no one knew.” Alya said, receiving glares from both Nino and Marinette. “Sorry! I’m a journalist, it’s my job to look for the truth!”

“But you and I both know Adrien would never do something like that.” Marinette pressed. Alya was going to fight back, when Chloe shushed them.

“What did Nadya just say? Go back!” She said, with some urgency in her voice. Alya rewound the video, allowing the reporter’s words to echo back.

“This just in, police have just discovered what appears to be a secret lair in the Agreste mansion, belonging to renowned supervillain Hawkmoth. Although we don’t have any confirmations yet, it looks as though Paris’s best designer might also be Paris’ worst enemy.” The words washed over the class, stunning them - and the recently entered Madame Bustier - into silence.

If Marinette had felt the world spin before, it shattered now. She needed to find Chat Noir. But how could she leave class? She wracked her brain for an excuse, but none came to mind. And as Bustier brought the group closer, to let them know that the school was aware of the news, and was preparing to support Adrien, Marinette resigned to her fate. Chat noir would have to wait.

That day rushed by, and it wasn’t until their regular patrol that Marinette was able to transform, and try to contact Chat Noir.

“Chat, where are you?” She called. “Have you heard the news? We need to debrief.”

But there was no response.

And as the night wore on, Ladybug sat overlooking the darkened windows of the Agreste Manor. Police tape had been erected around the structure, and a few cop cars were parked on one street corner, and a few paparazzi were hidden on the other. Her thoughts went to Adrien, alone in the house, and she grew more and more saddened at the thought.

Not able to take it any longer, Marinette dialed Chat Noir one last time.

“Hey, Chat.” She began, doing little to control the irritation in her voice, “Since you’re not going to join me on arguably the biggest night of our careers, I’m going to talk to Adrien. See if he knows anything about the miraculous. Plus, I can’t imagine how hard this is for him. I’d like to comfort him.” With that, she closed her yo-yo and swung down to street level.

She quickly explained her way past the police, everyone there deciding that Hawkmoth was definitively Ladybug’s jurisdiction. She walked through the empty mansion, hearing her footsteps echo around the halls.

“Hello?” She whispered, rapping her knuckles lightly on the closed door. She heard footsteps approach, and the door opened. Adrien looked awful. And that was hard to do, since it was Adrien. There were bags under his eyes, red rimmed and puffy. His lips were chapped and his skin looked pale. His hair was absolutely a wreck, as though he’d been pulling at it all day.

“What are you doing here?” He looked startled, and his voice was throaty and hoarse.

“I came to see if you were ok.” She said, setting a hand on his shoulder. His eyes began to well up, and then he diverted his gaze to the ground.

“That’s very kind of you. I’m doing fine.” At this, Ladybug couldn’t help but scoff. Hopefully not unkindly. She retracted her arm with one last squeeze on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Adrien. But there’s no way you’re doing fine. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But at least let me give you some company. Ok?” He nodded, stepping aside to let her in.

“Have you been alone all day?” She said, following Adrien’s lead and sitting on the couch.

“They took everyone in my father’s employ in for questioning. The police were here for a while, but I think most of them went home.”

“Do you have any uncles or aunts or anything? Anyone to watch over you.”

“I don’t know. My dad never told me about his family.” Adrien fidgeted.

“If you’d like, I can talk to the police. I could convince them to let you stay with someone. Maybe from school?” Marinette was sure that if Nino’s family knew that Adrien needed help, they’d take him in.

“That’s kind of you. But I think I can manage on my own.” Ladybug highly doubted this.

“Ok, well if you change your mind, you can always call on me.” Ladybug smiled. “You don’t always have to be strong.”

“I know… but I think I want to be here. Just in case something happens.” Ladybug wasn’t sure what could happen, but she understood.

They chatted for a while, about video games and TV and anything Ladybug could think of that wasn’t the glaringly obvious question: “where is the Butterfly Miraculous?” As the night wore on, Ladybug noticed that Adrien was fading.

“Um, I think I should go. It’s getting late.” She said, fidgeting with her yo-yo.

“Oh, of course. I didn’t even notice how long you’d been here. I’m sorry I kept you up.” A flush crept across his cheeks.

“No!” Ladybug exclaimed. “I mean, you don’t have to worry at all. I was happy to hang out. I mean, not that I’m happy about the circumstances, but, what I mean is…” she took a breath, centering herself and stilling her runaway words. This was no time to be Marinette, all stammers and drooling gazes. It was time to be Ladybug. Collected, calm, in control. Adrien needed her.

“I’m here for you. I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I want to make sure you don’t feel like you’re going through it all alone.” Her sincerity felt almost tangible, and Ladybug worries that she’d made it awkward. But when the boy’s body crashed into hers, pulling her in for a tight embrace, she was relieved.

“It’s ok, Adrien.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. She wasn’t sure, but she thought she heard him sniffle.

She flew away into the night, and before she detransformed, she checked her communicator. There was nothing. Marinette sighed, and dropped down into her room.

“I can’t believe that Chat didn’t show.” She grumbled to Tikki as the sprite appeared in her room.

“I’m sure he had a good reason, Marinette.” Her little voice squeaked.

“I hope so.” Marinette rolled her eyes, and flopped into bed. “Poor Adrien, though. I wish there was something I could do.”

“I think you really helped him, Marinette.” The kwami assured, snuggling into Marinette’s collarbone.

“I hope so. Maybe I can bring him some food tomorrow.”

“I think that’s a great idea!” Tikki cheered, and gave her wielder a peck on the cheek.

Marinette thought about what she would do if it had been her dad. The thought chilled her to her core, and she shoved it from her mind.


	3. Present

Marinette rang the doorbell of the small, unassuming apartment in the 5th arrondissement, and waited for the buzz. On the 6th floor of the walk up apartment, Marinette was greeted by two smiling faces. 

“These steps are going to kill me!” She heaved, falling into the small two bedroom apartment. 

“C’mon, Marinette. Don’t you want calves as toned as ours?” And, as though they’d coordinated the move, Adrien and Nino stepped their left legs onto the coffee table, and gestured at their calves. Marinette had to admit, they were quite well defined. 

“You two are ridiculous.” Since moving in together at the beginning of university, the two boys had become even closer. 

As they settled in, Adrien returned to the kitchen to tend to the dinner he was making, and Nino poured Marinette a glass of wine. Marinette always thought it was funny that whenever the group would reconvene, Nino would always open a bottle of wine, knowing full well that most of it would go to waste. Adrien didn’t really drink, and Alya and Nino… well they couldn’t defend Paris if they were shitfaced could they. But he was so insistent that Marinette always accepted a glass… or two… or three. 

“How was class?” Adrien asked as he chopped up onions. 

“It was good, although the akuma attack set everything back. Did you see it?”

“I actually totally missed it. I was studying, and I totally spaced out.”

“Chlo and I watched from the roof. It was crazy.”

“That’s really dangerous, Marinette.” Adrien stopped his chopping, an odd expression crossing his face.

“We do it all the time! And there’s no real danger when Ladybird and Chat Noir are there to help.”

“What about Ladybird?” The group turned to see Alya letting herself in. 

“We were just talking about the akuma attack. I feel like Papillette is really grasping at straws recently. I mean a fried food monster?” Nino snorted. 

“It’s ridiculous. She should just give it up, right?” Alya sighed, flopping onto the couch and crashing into Marinette. 

“Ooh, someone give me a glass of wine.”

“Are you sure Alya?” Nino raised a brow. 

“Today, absolutely.” She made a grabbing motion with her fingers, and the boy brought her a small glass. 

“Apparently Marinette and Chloe watch the akuma attacks from the roof.” Marinette gasped as Adrien sold her out.

“You tattle tale.” She stuck her tongue out, mockingly.

“Marinette! That’s really risky.” Alya took the same look as Adrien. 

“Says the girl who used to chase after akumas on her bike.” Marinette scoffed, and took another sip of the wine.

When Adrien had prepared dinner, they sat around the coffee table with their plates, chatting and laughing and eating. Marinette was lucky that her closest friends wound up so nearby. In fact, mostly everyone wound up in Paris. Adrien, studying psychology at La Sorbonne; Alya, journalism; and Nino, working at radio stations during the day and at nightclubs in the evenings. And two years ago, Marinette would have never believed that she and Chloe would have attended the same university, willingly. 

Marinette let her head rest on Alya’s shoulder, feeling comforted by the smell of spices from the dish and the sound of her dearest friends’ lively chatter.

Marinette had her regrets about giving up the Ladybug Miraculous. She regretted passing the burden onto her friend. She regretted not being able to swing across the city skyline. She regretted saying goodbye to Tikki. But in moments like these, Marinette knew she’d made the right choice. It felt so good not to have the weight of Paris on her shoulders.

Suddenly, their dinner party, and Marinette’s reverie, was interrupted by the high wail of a siren. The entire group groaned. 

“We should get back.” Alya said to Nino. “Gotta make sure the kids are ok. We’re so sorry, but you know my mom’s stupid rules.” 

“Yeah, and I want to make sure she’s safe.” Nino said. Marinette smiled, and assured them it was no trouble. She could never complain about friends ducking out on plans suddenly. After all, for most of high school she had been that friend. 

“Ok guys, see you soon!” Adrien saw them to the door, and locked it tight behind them. 

“I guess it makes sense why Alya’s mom makes those rules, but it’s still pretty annoying.” Adrien sighed, cleaning up their plates. Marinette jumped up to help him.

“I’m surprised my mom doesn’t have the same rule, actually.” The girl laughed.

“Speaking of moms. Would you mind if I called the hospital? I want to make sure mom isn’t too scared.” Adrien said, gesturing to his room. 

“Oh, I don’t mind at all!” Marinette nodded quickly. He smiled, and returned to his room. It was just her now, so she sat back on the couch, poured herself another glass of wine, and turned on the TV.   
Carapace and Ladybird had already arrived on the scene, but Chat Noir was nowhere to be seen. 

It was funny to watch Alya and Nino keep their secrets from Marinette, not knowing that Marinette knew everything. She had given Nino the Turtle Miraculous at Master Fu’s request. And when Marinette had found herself at her wits end, something told her that Alya was just the person to rely on.

The third of the group appeared suddenly, getting in a good thwack on the Akuma’s back with his staff. Marinette sipped her wine, thinking again about when she’d first passed off the Ladybug mantle. She wished she could have coached Alya but it wasn’t as though they could both wield the miraculous at the same time. So she settled for a series of videos instead, explaining that she was retiring, and entrusting the responsibility to Alya, and letting her know that if it ever got to be too much, there was no shame in passing the miraculous along. That last bit was more a reminder for Marinette than anyone else.   
But Alya had taken to it wonderfully, making Marinette wish that she’d tapped Alya for another miraculous sooner. 

She wondered how Adrien’s call with his mom was going. Since Emilie Agreste had woken up a few months ago, Adrien spent most of his spare time with her, trying to help her regain her memories.   
It was taking longer than Marinette would have hoped, but she couldn’t be mad. She just wished that she and Adrien could have had some free time together. 

It wasn’t that Marinette still had her silly crush from all those years ago. I mean, she did still like Adrien, though it had taken her some time to realize that even after Luka had moved away. It had been odd to slip back into her crush. It felt small on her now, especially since she and Adrien had been through so much. But that meant it was easier to wear. Easier to make full sentences in his presence. Easier to watch him do anything without blushing and drooling. Easier to be a good friend.

Marinette had resigned herself to the fate that she and Adrien weren’t likely to wind up with each other, but the occasional flirtatious conversation couldn’t hurt. 

The night wore on, and by the time the akuma had been taken care of, Marinette fallen fast asleep on the couch, lulled by the wine and exhaustion of a long day. 

“Hey, Marinette.” A voice whispered, nudging her awake. The girl stirred, her eyes still closed. She felt a source of warmth near her. Something that smelled nice, and in her half-sleeping state, she reached her arms out to grab it. 

“Ok,” the voice chuckled, and suddenly Marinette felt herself lifted. She grasped harder to the warm thing, her eyes blinking open. She was met with a rush of blonde, and she nestled closer into the warm thing. Marinette was lowered to the bed, and she clung to the warm body. 

“I have to get you settled.” He said, removing her arms. She felt a blanket settled on her, and she instinctively curled under it. 

“I feel spinny.” She told it. The warmth vanished for a minute, and she felt it return, and help her to a sitting position. The warm thing pressed a glass of water into her hands, and guided it towards her mouth.

“Sip it, don’t chug.” He whispered in dulcet tones, and she did as told. 

“It’s right by the bedside table if you need it. I’ll be just outside on the couch.” The warmth moved away, and she returned to the pillow. And immediately was asleep.


	4. Three Years Ago

Ladybug swung into the open window that led to Adrien’s room. With a graceful landing, she tucked away her yo-yo, and greeted Adrien with a smile.

“It might have gotten a bit squashed on the way over, but I thought this would be nice.” She said, proffering the bag of pastry to Adrien. 

With an avaricious gleam in his eye, he accepted the bag quickly. Ladybug was startled as he devoured half a croissant in one bite.

“Sorry, I just haven’t had a lot to eat recently. Plus, these are the best pastries in Paris. The baker’s daughter goes to my school, y’know.” He said through a mouthful of millefeuille.

“Really?” Ladybug squeaked, trying to sound surprised. “Well, any time you want me to pick up some, just let me know.” 

“You just made a very dangerous offer.” He winked at her, grinning a Cheshire grin. She was glad to see him back to some semblance of himself.

“So, Adrien. Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure!” He said, chewing with glee. 

“I want to respect your privacy, so you can totally not answer. But… did you have any clue that your father might have been Hawkmoth?” His chewing slowed, and he was quiet for a minute.

“There was a period of time that I was suspicious. But when he was akumatized, it set my worries to rest. I guess I shouldn’t have been so easily tricked.” 

“You weren’t the only one.” Ladybug sighed. 

“But it makes sense. He was so secretive, and so cold. I just don’t know what he was doing with my mom.” 

“Have you heard anything from the hospital?” Ladybug moved closer to Adrien, hoping it would be a comfort to him.

“She's stable. The doctors told me that they can’t find anything wrong with her, but they just can’t get her to wake up.”

“Well, I’m wishing her a speedy recovery.” Ladybug set her hand on his. She noticed that a deep flush came over his cheeks. Was he embarrassed to talk about his mom? 

“One last thing and I promise we can talk about other stuff. Do you know if your dad had some kind of pin or piece of jewelry that he wears often?” 

“He likes a brooch. I asked him about it once and he said it was a gift from my mom.” 

Ladybug chewed her bottom lip, thinking. That must have been it. 

“Why do you ask?” 

“I think it might be where his power is coming from. It’s imperative that we get the miraculous back.” 

“I’ll look around to see if I can find it.” He smiled.

“Thanks, Adrien. You’d be doing me a huge service. Now, want to watch a movie?” 

As Adrien set up the movie, Ladybug rang Chat Noir again. This was the third night he’d missed patrol. 

“Chat, I’m getting really nervous. Please call me when you can.” She sighed, hung up, and returned to the room.

“Everything ok?” Adrien asked.

“Yeah… Chat Noir hasn’t been in touch in a while. I hope everything’s ok. Maybe…” She trailed off, diverting her gaze.

“What?” Adrien nudged her.

“Oh, it’s silly. It’s nothing.” Ladybug said through a forced laugh.

“You can tell me. You’ve been so helpful, I want to do the same for you.” Ugh, Adrien was too perfect.

“Maybe now that Hawkmoth isn’t a threat, he’s done being Chat Noir. I guess that would make sense. I don’t think Paris really needs us any more, so I guess it was just a matter of time.” She spoke, her voice demure and uncertain. “But what am I doing? I’m here to cheer you up, you don’t need me spouting all my problems.” She laughed awkwardly. 

“No!” Adrien said suddenly, a ferocity sparking in his emerald eyes. “Paris will never not need you. Sure Hawkmoth may be defeated, but Ladybug is more than just Paris’ defender. She’s its role model. She inspires so many to become their best selves, and keep going when they feel like they can’t.”

“Wow, I never really thought about it that way.” Ladybug said, after finding her voice. She had been stunned by his zeal. 

“And as for Chat Noir, I think he’s been a real jerk for not thinking about how his actions might affect you.” Adrien continued, the fire in his voice still burning. 

“I wouldn’t be that harsh.” She laughed, bashful. “But anyway, enough about my problems. Let’s start the movie?” 

They sat back, but Ladybug could barely focus on the film. She kept thinking about Adrien’s words. Paris will never not need Ladybug. Was that really true? Would she be forty and still running across rooftops at night? Would she put her kids to bed and then run out for patrol? Would she even be able to have kids? 

In her mind, she always thought that her tenure as Ladybug had an end, but when and how that end came about was never concrete. As much as she loved being Ladybug, it was hard. She was late for everything, she was always overextended, and she was burdened by the guilt of keeping such a massive secret. And if she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure how long she could keep up the act. 

But Adrien had been so passionate. She’d never seen him so passionate about anything. It was for people like him, people that truly cared, that she kept doing what she did. How could she give that up? 

“Hey, Adrien?” She said, darting her eyes towards him. 

“Hm?” He replied.

“Thank you for what you said. It means a lot to know that I have such a big impact. I just hope I won’t let anyone down.” 

“Ladybug, you could never let anyone down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all in for a treat next chapter.


	5. Present

Marinette felt awful in the morning. Her head pounded, the taste of wine soured on her tongue, and the light that streamed through the window hurt her eyes. It was a minute, and then one more, before she realized that she didn’t recognize whose window that was. It was certainly not her own. She flew out of bed, frantically looking around for some indication of where she was. Her eyes landed on the photo on the desk, of Adrien and his mother. If it was possible for someone to be relieved and utterly panicked at the same time, that’s what she would be. 

She was in Adrien’s room, which was good, because that was a familiar room. But also, she was in Adrien’s bed. 

How had she wound up in Adrien’s bed? 

She rushed to the door, but paused when her hand reached the knob. She must look terrible. She couldn’t let Adrien see her like that. She rushed back, finding the full length mirror on the back of his closet, and did her best to straighten out her hair and fix her clothes. She took a deep breath, and then exited the room. 

“Good morning!” A chipper Adrien smiled from the kitchen. His beaming smile was so bright, it physically hurt. 

“Uh, hi.” She said, squinting her puffy eyes.

“Did I wake you?” He asked. 

“No, not at all.” Marinette said, trying to sound casual. “Quick question, how did I wind up in your room?”

“You were asleep on the couch when I wrapped up my call with my mom. I carried you to the bed. I hope that’s ok, but I didn’t want you to get a knot in your neck or anything.” Marinette went bright red. Adrien had carried her? And she'd slept in Adrien's bed? Her younger self would have died.

“I’m so sorry, you could have totally just left me on the couch. I didn’t mean to kick you out of your bed like that.”

“No! I’m sorry I left you for so long. My mom was just a bit freaked out, so the call lasted longer than I thought. I was a bad host, so let me make it up to you with breakfast?” He held up the skillet, and Marinette’s mouth watered a bit at the sight of crepes. 

“You really don’t have to.” 

“Well I already made them. What do you want in yours?” 

“Um, do you have Nutella?” Marinette asked, feeling the burning spread to her ears. 

“Of course!” He brought down a comically large tub of Nutella from the cupboard and made Marinette a plate, and a cup of coffee. They moved to the coffee table to eat, and only when Adrien had come out from behind the kitchen counter did she realize that he was in his boxers. 

Marinette had fantasized about quiet domestic mornings with Adrien before, but none of her fantasies had included a raging hangover and last night’s clothes. 

“I’m really sorry again for falling asleep at your apartment.” She mumbled. 

“Don’t apologize! Honestly, I’d rather you stayed here than walk home last night. It was a messy attack.” He sighed. 

They chatted a bit, about projects they were working on in school, giving her time to calm down from her initial humiliation. And eventually, they were laughing and flirting like usual. Or maybe flirting. Marinette could never get a good read of Adrien. He was so charming to everyone, so it was impossible to tell if he was flirting, or just being himself.

“I can’t believe I passed out on your couch. What a mess!” She giggled. 

“I dunno, I thought it was kind of cute.” Adrien shrugged. 

“Agreste, are you trying to pull some funny business?” Marinette feigned indignation. 

“Would you blame me for trying?” He grinned. Marinette, putting on airs, tossed her hair over her shoulder. 

“At least ask a girl to dinner first! Honestly, where are your manners?”

“Fine then. Would you like to go to dinner, fair lady?” He said, bowing deeply. 

“Why yes, I think I would. Wait.” She said, her smile fading immediately. “You’re joking, right?”

“Uhh, not really.” Adrien sat up, looking just as terrified. “Were you?”

“Uh, no.” She said, pale and wide eyed.

“So you do want to go on a date with me?” Adrien clarified.

“What? Yes!” Marinette blurted out. 

“But we’re friends.” He whispered, more to himself than to her.

“Why would you ask to go on a date then?” Marinette jumped up, feeling as though her heart would snap in two from this emotional whiplash. 

“Because I thought you didn’t like me more than just a friend!” He cried.

“I’ve been flirting constantly. Did you not catch that?” Marinette said, almost desperate.

“I thought that was just you being friendly!” He defended. 

“Are you kidding?” Marinette began to pace. “I’ve had a crush on you for years, and I always thought you knew but were just too polite to turn me down. Turns out you’re just dense!” She spun on him, pointing an accusatory finger in his startled face.

“You’ve had a crush on me for years? Since when?” Now he jumped up, his face turning beet red. They stood across the room from each other, as if they were in a cowboy standoff. 

“Since years! Adrien, how did you not notice? I couldn’t get a single sentence out around you when I was in high school.” Marinette stepped towards him, almost mad.

“I thought maybe you were just star struck because you liked fashion.” He flinched, knowing the coming reaction.

“Fashion?!” Marinette howled, raking her hands through her hair. 

“Hey! That’s not a crazy assumption. You do like fashion!” He backed away, his defenses crumbling.

“But not so much that I wouldn’t be able to talk to someone I saw every day for 3 years!” 

“So,” Adrien said, more quietly. He twiddled his thumbs meekly. “Do you still want to go to dinner with me?” 

“What? Yes, of course I do.” Marinette sighed, and flopped down on the couch. Adrien looked at her, and then began to giggle.

“What?” She grumbled. 

“You had a crush on me, that’s so embarrassing!” Marinette went bright red.

“Oh shut it.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. He sat back down, but this time he sat much closer.

“So…” Marinette squeaked, all too aware of how close he was sitting. “How long have you wanted to ask me out?”

“Maybe a bit less than a year. I really liked someone else during high school. Someone who would never like me back. And then she left, and I guess I realized just how cool you are. I mean, I always knew you were cool. But…” He trailed off, smiling bashfully. “But by then you started dating Luka, so I figured I’d missed my chance.”

“Wow, we had really poor timing.” Marinette chuckled. 

“But it seems like pretty good timing now. So… dinner tonight?” He arched a brow.

“Tonight? But I’m a mess!” She peeped.

“It can be a late dinner. Or we can do tomorrow?”

“No, tonight’s good. I should just head home then. I need to go for my run.”

“Do you run every single day? I don’t remember you ever doing it in high school.” She said, feeling as though their conversation was progressing faster than she could process. She was still on the whole Adrien just asked her out thing, and somehow they were talking about her exercise? 

“I used to be more naturally active in high school. But then my life sort of slowed down, and I decided I needed to stay active.” That was the truth… mostly. After she’d given up the miraculous, Marinette found that she greatly missed the freedom of swooping through the Parisian skyline. And she found that running was the next best thing. Plus… if the city ever needed her again, she wanted to be ready. But that was just her being silly. The city wouldn’t need her, not when it had three amazing superheroes on active duty. 

Old habits die hard.

“That’s really great! I’m sure you’re in better shape than I am.” 

“That can't possibly be true, I mean look at your muscles!” Marinette exclaimed.

“Have you been looking at my muscles Dupain-Cheng?” He waggled a brow, and Marinette went bright pink.

“No! I mean, not that I haven’t noticed. But not in a creepy way?” 

“Hey,” Adrien laughed, setting a hand on hers. “It’s ok. I was just teasing.” 

“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll get better about stammering. I can just get silly sometimes.” Marinette scolded herself internally. Why couldn’t she just be normal? 

“You don’t have to apologize, and you don’t have to get better about anything. Just take your time getting ready.” He looked at her, holding her gaze steadily in his green eyes. 

“Ok. I will. Thanks.” She nodded, a weird sense of familiarity dawning over her. There was something about his gaze that felt comfortable.

“Has anyone ever told you you kind of look like Chat Noir?” She commented, and a strange expression washed over his face.

“Weird! No! I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before.” He laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

“It’s not a bad comparison, Chat Noir is quite handsome.” 

“You think he’s handsome?” The blond perked up.

“When he’s not being ridiculous, yes. I think he has his charm.” Marinette smiled. “Ok, well I should get home. I need to get ready for tonight!” 

“I’ll text you the place?” Adrien said, clearing the dishes. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m not picky.” Marinette gathered her things, and Adrien walked her to the door.

“Well, I’ll see you soon?” She said, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. Adrien leaned down, and kissed her on the cheek, his lips lingering for a moment. 

“I’ll see you soon.” 

She waited until she was out of his building to let out a squeal, and did a happy dance on the sidewalk. Little did she know, back in his apartment, Adrien was doing the same.

“Girl, that’s insane!” Alya said as they slowed to a jog. Marinette had immediately called her friend, who decided to join Marinette on her run.

“I know! Who knew he liked me?” Marinette wheezed.

“I knew! Nino knew! We all knew, and kept trying to tell you. You were just far too dense to realize! What’s insane is how long it took you two to finally ask the other out.” Alya burst out, not at all out of breath. Her year as Ladybird had toned Alya’s muscles, bringing out the woman’s strength.

“Well, I have only been single for a few months.” 

“A few months too many! What are you wearing?” 

“I just finished a dress I was working on. You know that black one?” 

“Ooh, I do know that black one. And I approve.” 

“I’m so nervous!” Marinette cried.

“You’ll be fine. You’re perfect for each other.” Alya said.

“You think?” They jogged back towards Alya’s apartment.

“I don’t think, I know. Not to change the subject or anything, but do you really watch the akuma attacks from the roof of your school?” 

“What? Oh, sometimes Chloe and I will do it.” She didn’t mention all the other places Chloe and her watched the attacks. From the roof of the university, around street corners, from cafe windows, and one time they were even in the Louvre when all the paintings came to life. Chloe had been too disgusted by the gaunt biblical figures chasing them to actually be scared. 

“Seriously, have they ever heard of CrossFit?” She’d scoffed, kicking away a zombified Jesus.

“Aren’t you scared?” Alya asked as they lingered outside her door.

“Not really. It’s been so many years of this, the fear factor kind of wears off.” Also, years of being directly in the line of fire helped. But she didn’t say that.

“You’re really brave, Marinette.” Alya mused.

“Or just really stupid.” Marinette laughed. They parted ways, with a promise that Marinette would provide live date updates whenever she could.

Back at home, Marinette caught up on the tasks she’d missed this morning. She fed Tikki, cleaned the little rodent’s cage, and took a long, hot shower to clear her head.

By the time Adrien was due to pick her up, Marinette had been ready for thirty minutes. She sprung to her feet at the sound of the doorbell, nearly falling down the stairs in her race to get to the door before her parents could. But she was too late. Sabine And Tom had already attacked the boy in a deep embrace.

“Oh Adrien it’s been so long!” Sabine gushed, holding him at arm’s length to get a look at him.

“You’re so thin!” Tom gasped. “Have you been eating? If you’d like, we can start sending over a baguette or two with our morning shipments.” 

“I don’t want to trouble you, Mr. Dupain.” Adrien waved, catching Marinette’s eye. He immediately went pink at the sight of her, and she wondered whether he could be as nervous as she was.

“Mom, Adrien and I really should be going.” Marinette interrupted, before they could pull him into a lengthy conversation. 

“But Alya’s mom said Alya and Nino were working tonight.” Sabine puzzled.

“Yeah, mom…it’s just us.” Marinette huffed, waiting for the awkwardness to commence.

“Oh…” the woman said, a vague understanding settling over her. And then the penny dropped. “Oh! We won’t keep you kids any longer. Have fun!” 

“I don’t get it.” Tom whispered, not so subtly.

“Tom, they’re on a date.” Sabine whispered. 

“Mom…” Marinette groaned, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. But next to her, Adrien was beaming. 

Before her dad could interrogate them, Sabine had pushed them out of the door, saving all of them from an uncomfortable conversation about “safety.”

“I’m sorry, Adrien. They’re so embarrassing.” Marinette sighed as they turned into the cool night air.

“I like it! They feel like real parents, you know?” 

“Right, I guess you never got the “be home by 9” talk.” The girl chuckled.

“No… I got the “be home by 3 pm or I’ll place you under house arrest talk.” The more Adrien had opened up to Marinette, the more she’d seen how unhappy his childhood had been. 

Gabriel had truly been a monster, using his son as a pawn to achieve his own goals. “The scariest part,” Adrien had said one night after a few glasses of wine. “I think he really did love me. He just thought that that’s what love looked like.” That phrase always haunted Marinette.

She couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Her parents could be overbearing, yes. But never unreasonable. 

“You’re welcome any time.” Marinette said. In a moment of bravery, she let her fingers interlock with his. He welcomed the touch, and held her tight. “You know they love you.” 

“I wouldn’t want to burden them.” Adrien flushed.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. Now you’re obligated to come over.” 

“And why is that?” He smirked, mischievously.

“Well now that we’re dating. We are, right?” Marinette suddenly panicked. What if she was overstepping? 

To answer her question, Adrien stopped, and kissed Marinette deeply. It felt as though glitter was exploding inside of her. She stepped closer, kissing back, and she could feel his heart race against her hands as she pressed them onto his chest. They broke apart, the energy between them electrified. 

“I really like you.” Adrien whispered. 

“I really like you too.” Marinette replied, her voice hushed. 

“Should we go get dinner?” He said, and she nodded. With one last kiss, which turned into two more, they continued their walk with their hands still intertwined.

“Wow.” Marinette found herself saying.

“Wow What?” Adrien said, giving her hand two squeezes.

“I just kissed Adrien Agreste.” She said, in awe.

“I can do you one better.” He grinned.

“Huh?” Marinette said, looking at him.

“I just kissed Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” He beamed, and Marinette couldn’t help but burst out laughing.


	6. Three Years Ago

Ladybug checked her communicator again. It was late, and there was still no sign of Chat Noir. For the fifth time this week. She flopped back onto the roof, staring up at the starless night. She wanted to believe what Adrien had said. That Chat Noir would come, at least to say goodbye. But it was seeming more and more that he wouldn’t.

What was it to her? They were just partners, coworkers, after all. Their sole purpose was to protect Paris from Hawkmoth. And they’d done that. So what else was there for them to do?

But the thought that this was it, that Chat Noir would just vanish without saying goodbye, was too much for Ladybug. As tears welled up in her eyes, she sat forward to try to stop them from falling. But that did nothing.

Burying her face into her hands, Ladybug began to weep. They weren’t just partners, of course not. Chat Noir was her friend. He’d been in love with her, for God’s sake. And now he was just leaving? 

“Hey bugaboo, sorry I’m late I was just-“ she whirled around at the sound of his voice. And there he was, cool as ever, twirling his tail around his gloved fingers. She stood, shakily, and with a loud cry, shoved him to the ground.

“What was that for?” He exclaimed, his green eyes wide.

“You left!” She cried, falling onto him, and pounding at his chest. “You didn’t pick up for a week, right after Hawkmoth had been taken down. Why would you do that?” 

With a firm grip, he caught her wrist mid-punch.

“Ladybug, are you crying?” He whispered, almost in awe. She sat back, yanking her hand from his grip, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

“No!” She huffed, resolute. “I’m just mad!” It was quiet between them for a few minutes, save Ladybug’s telltale sniffles. And then, before she could do anything, Chat Noir pulled her into his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing her back as she cried. She hated being this weak in front of him, but he was so warm, and his gentle caress felt so good. “I should have checked in.”

“Where were you?” She sniffled.

“I was sick, I could barely get out of bed.” He said, pulling her closer.

“Oh.” And now she felt even more stupid. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He said, releasing her. “I could have called, I think I just… was too scared to admit that it’s over.”

“Do you think it is over?” She said, wiping the rest of her tears away. Chat looked awful. His eyes were dull, and his hair was a mess. His ears drooped at her words.

“I’m not sure. I think Hawkmoth is defeated, but I don’t know what that means for us.” He said, sitting back.

“I think we should still do patrol.” She said. “Just in case.”

“I’m down if you’re not too mad at me.” He grinned.

“I’m still mad. But… not too mad.”

It felt good to swing through the night with Chat Noir by her side. It was as though, with each flick of her wrist, with each bounding leap, she was leaving the stress of it all behind. The pressure was off, and she could finally find a bit of normalcy that everyone else seemed to enjoy.

At the end of the night, they’d done nothing but help out a few stray kittens, and an old lady who was having trouble carrying her groceries. It felt good.

“Meet tomorrow?” He asked, stretching his well-worked arms.

“You’ll be on time?” Ladybug narrowed her eyes.

“I’ll try, I promise. I won’t miss it.” He ruffled her hair, and leapt off into the night.

With a sigh, Ladybug turned her sight towards the nearly vacant Agreste manor, noticing that Adrien’s light was off. She snuck into the darkened room, noticing that it had been emptied somewhat. A letter sat on the desk, with her name on it. 

“Dear Ladybug,” she read to no one. “Thank you so much for your support and kindness. This has all been hard on me, but having you come over to comfort me every evening has helped. I’m taking your advice, and I asked my school to reach out to my classmates’ parents. I’m going to stay with one of them while this is all figured out. I’ve provided my number below. You can always reach me. - Adrien”

Ladybug smiled, holding the note close to her chest. She was glad she could help Adrien out. Turning from the room, Ladybug swung home, feeling the cold breeze against her cheeks.

As she dropped into her room, she transformed back.

“That’s great that Adrien found a place to stay!” Tikki cheered.

“Yeah! Although selfishly I’m sad that I can’t spend more time with him.” Marinette sighed, kicking her shoes off. Just then, a knock on her door startled the girl and her kwami. Tikki flew to her hiding place as Marinette went to get the door.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure you were awake, but your parents wanted me to check.” Marinette felt the color drain from her face as a head of shiny blonde hair poked into her room.

“A-Adrien. What are you doing here?” The girl sputtered.

“I thought your mom told you this morning. I’m staying with your family for a while. Your parents were really sweet. They responded almost immediately when the school put out the ask.” When had her mom told her that Adrien was moving in? Marinette wracked her brain, and realized that her mom had said something that morning as she’d left for school. She’d just nodded and kept on her way, too distracted by her usual fear of being late.

“That’s great! I mean, it’s not under great circumstances, and I am really sorry for everything you’re going through. But that’s great my parents can help - I mean…” she sighed, Sure that Adrien was immediately regretting his decision. But to her surprise, he laughed.

“Marinette, you’re so funny! I’m glad that I’ll be staying with you.”

“Marinette, are you up? Come downstairs!” Sabine called them to the living room, where they’d set out a late night tea.

The three sat down, and began chatting as if everything were normal, leaving Marinette to wonder when she’d lost control of her life?

“Adrien, are you coming to school tomorrow?” Marinette asked.

“No, not yet. I don’t think I’m ready for the questions and the comments.” He cast his gaze downwards.

“Oh, ok. You can always invite Nino over when you’re ready.” Marinette offered a smile, but couldn’t shake the awkward feeling.

“Of course, Adrien. Our home is your home too. Anything you need, just let us know.” Tom grinned, ruffling the boy’s hair. Marinette watched as Adrien went pink in the face. She wondered if Adrien had ever experienced such a casually paternal gesture.

“We’ll let you kids chat, but don’t stay up too late.” Sabine kissed Marinette on the top of her head, and set her and Toms teacups in the sink. The two fell into silence, as Marinette struggled to find something to say. This was so much easier as Ladybug.

“I’m sorry for being an inconvenience.” Adrien said out of the blue.

“What? You’re not being an inconvenience at all.” Marinette burst out. But her words didn’t seem to be any assurance to Adrien, who looked as though he was trying not to cry.

“Adrien, really.” She said, her tone gentle and quiet. “We’re all so happy that we can look out for you. I’m sure everyone in the class feels the same. But I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through, so don’t hide what you need. If you want to be alone, that’s fine. If you want to play video games and not think about it, that’s fine too.”

“T-thanks.” He nodded. “If it’s ok with you, I think I’m just going to get to sleep early.” In a moment of bravery, Marinette set her hand on Adrien’s and squeezed. Just for a minute, before setting it back in her lap. She helped him get set up in their small guest room, and returned to her own, where Tikki was hiding.

“So, Adrien’s living with you?” The kwami said. Marinette threw herself into the work of taking down the posters of him, and shoving them far underneath her bed.

“Tikki, I’m so screwed.”


	7. Present

Marinette felt that she was living on a cloud. Life couldn’t be more perfect. Adrien and her had been living in that dreamy, smooth bubble of early stage relationships. They met up at every chance they could get, Adrien walked her to class, and came over for dinner at their house frequently. She felt she just could never get enough of him, could never get close enough.

Sometimes being around him was just too much, and she felt she was vibrating with joy. 

Meanwhile, school was going incredibly well. She felt that inspiration could be found in every cloud and building and tree. She was producing prolifically, almost at an inhuman rate. 

Each morning, she awoke with vigor and had the strength to run farther and faster than she ever had before. 

“High school me would be fuming.” Chloe said one night as they worked in the studio.

“And present you?” Marinette quirked a brow.

“You know I’m above that Hetero nonsense.” Marinette giggled. “But out of pure curiosity, how is he?” 

“I mean he’s really sweet. I thought he’d be more outgoing, but he’s almost more of an introvert than an extrovert. Which I knew, but it's still a surprise.” She said, stretching her fingers.

“No, you goon. I mean how is he in the boudoir?” Chloe rolled her eyes, and Marinette went bright pink. 

“Chloe! I’m not going to talk about-“

“Ugh, liberate yourself Marinette. Plus, you know so much about my sex life that it wouldn’t be fair if you held out now.”

“But you tell me without me asking!” Marinette huffed. Chloe quirked a deftly arched brow, as if to say “So what?”

“Ugh, Fine. It’s good. Things are really good. He’s not as experienced as I thought he would be. But he’s… eager.” Marinette felt her cheeks burn brighter with each word.

“I figured. Dear Daddy Agreste was such a fucking control freak that I’m sure Adrien probably hadn’t even kissed a girl until senior year.”

“I guess I’d never thought about that. I guess I thought he’d been with like one million beautiful models.” Marinette pondered, staring into the hem she was working on.

“What’s he into?” Chloe didn’t even bother to look up from her computer as she asked.

“Nothing weird! Although… do you remember Alya’s costume party?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“So afterwards when we were cleaning up we got kind of… silly. And then we found a Ladybug mask. He asked me to put it on.” Chloe stopped typing, and looked up with a wild grin on her face.

“No way! I mean Ladybug roleplaying is totally common, Sabrina and I do it all the time. But with the actual Ladybug, I am shook!”

“Shh! Do you want everyone to know? Also, you and Sabrina dress up as me?” Marinette wrinkled her nose.

“No, you dunce. Ladybug is totally different. Dressing up as you would be a total vibe killer.” And Chloe wrinkled her nose right back. “But did Adrien have any suspicions when you put it on?”

“He really didn’t. Which, honestly was a little shocking.”

“Not to me. He’s kind of dense, if you haven’t noticed. You could have swung down from the roof in the whole costume and he wouldn’t put two and two together.” Chloe shrugged. Marinette didn’t want to laugh, but he knew Chloe was right.

“Why would anyone want to dress up as Ladybug in… that way?”

“It’s all about power, honey. Ladybug was a powerful lady. People either want to dominate her or be dominated by her. Either way it makes them feel powerful.” The blonde lectured, and then set a sneaky look on Marinette. “Which was Adrien?”

“Chloe.” Marinette groaned, hiding her bright pink face in her hands.

“I promise this is the last question.” Chloe laughed.

“It was the latter.” Marinette muttered.

“Oh my god, I’m such a genius. I totally knew it. He’s such a sub.”

“No more!” Marinette squealed.

“Ugh, Fine.” Chloe tossed her ponytail over her shoulder, and went back to her work. Minutes later, Marinette got curious.

“Why don’t you and Sabrina do Queen Bee?” She peeped.

“Queen Bee, may She Rest In Peace, is too sacred to be defiled in such a way.” Chloe shrugged.

“But Ladybug isn’t?” Marinette cried.

Chloe’s reign as Queen Bee ended along with Marinette’s reign as Ladybug. Alya didn’t trust Chloe enough to keep giving her the Bee miraculous, which made sense at the time. Everyone knew Queen Bee’s secret identity, and it made her a target. Plus, at the time, Chloe had barely made it past her mean girl stage. Marinette felt differently, but understood Alya’s decision and clearly was in no position to disagree. 

Suddenly, the akuma alarm began to sound.

“Good enough time as any to go home.” Chloe stretched, and gathered up her things.

“I’m gonna hang out a bit longer. I want to finish up this skirt.” Marinette wished Chloe good luck on her walk home, and continued to work. But as the fight wore on, long past their normal length, Marinette got curious. She climbed to the top of the stairs, and fiddled with the lock of the roof door, until it clicked open.

Marinette peered over the horizon, trying to find the action. Nothing much looked different, and she couldn’t see a hulking monster towering over the buildings, or little figures leaping through the skyline. 

“I knew I could find you here!” Marinette jumped at the sound of the very familiar voice.

“Al- I mean, Ladybird!” Marinette squeaked, as the costumed figure of her friend posed on the ledge of the roof. “W-what are you doing here?” But Marinette knew what Ladybird was doing here. Marinette recognized that inspiring and conspiratorial look because she’d given it herself when she offered Nino the Turtle Miraculous. Fuck.

“I’m here because Paris needs you.” Marinette tried not to groan. Ladybird jumped down from the ledge, and produced a small wooden box before her.

“This is the Fox Miraculous, which will allow you to create powerful illusions. Do you accept it for this battle, and promise to return it after?” Alya opened the box, revealing a fox-tailed necklace. Marinette had never given out the Fox Miraculous after Lila had pretended to wield it, feeling that somehow it had been tainted. But here it was, being offered to her. 

“Why me?” Marinette tried to sound impressed, and not let any of her despair seep into her tone.

“Because you’re the only person in Paris who hasn’t taken cover.” Alya grinned. “So, do you accept?”

Marinette held the box in her hands, staring down at the little trinket that contained immeasurable power. She had given it all up, and loved her life. She didn’t want to do the whole miserable charade again.  
But she’d passed that miserable charade to her best friend, so wasn’t she obligated to help Alya out? And if it was only that one time, it wouldn’t really be all that bad, would it? Plus, all the exercise would mean that she could skip her run and sleep in tomorrow.

“I accept.” Marinette said, taking the necklace. With a flash of orange light, a little fox appeared before her eyes. The big alien eyes and doll-like appearance made Marinette regret her decision for a minute. Was she betraying Tikki? She hadn’t been so close to her old kwami in a year, she felt guilty.

“I’m Trixx, pleased to meet you!” She noticed the kwami grinned as it spoke, and it was immediately obvious that they knew who Marinette was. 

“Hi Trixx, I’m Marinette.” Marinette smiled back, feeling more at ease.

“Just say the words, “lets pounce,” and we’re ready to go!” Ladybird got out her yo-yo, already ready to get started. With a sigh, Marinette said the phrase, and felt that very familiar feeling wash over her. 

“Wow, you’re so cute!” Ladybird squealed as the light subsided. Marinette was almost too scared to look, but as they took off across the rooftops, she got a glimpse of herself in the darkened windows. Her tan and white costume included arm-length gloves and knee-high boots, a white bodice that slimmed into large rounded tail. A tail. This seemed so impractical. A long wooden flute was fastened to her waist, and a floppy ribbon tied her braid, the rounded ends of the ribbon looking almost like ears. 

Marinette looked at the masked woman in the window as if it was a stranger. A ghost from her past that had come back to haunt her.

“C’mon! We don’t have time to preen!” Ladybird laughed. Marinette realized that she’d stopped to examine herself. She nodded, and took off again.

“You’re a natural girl!” Ladybird encouraged. If only Ladybird knew how untrue that was. 

“More like seasoned professional.” Marinette grumbled.

“What’d you say?” Ladybird called back.

“I said I hope so!” Marinette replied, smiling sweetly. They slowed their pace, and as they approached they saw a black-clad figure clashing with a metal something.

“Chat Noir, incoming!” Ladybird cried, leaping into action. The two superheroes began to fight together, working perfectly in sync with each other against the metallic magician.

Marinette just froze. She hadn’t at all thought about Chat Noir when she accepted the miraculous. Surely he’d immediately recognize her up close. She panicked, wondering how to run away. Maybe she could use her powers to deceive him, and make her face look different. But it was too late to come up with a speedy solution. The figure teleported away, leaving the three alone on the rooftop.

“We have to find her next location, but first. Chat Noir, I brought a friend.” Ladybird said, putting her yo-yo away. The feline hero turned, and Marinette felt her heart stop. What was he going to do? Scream? Attack? Run away?

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, little fox.” He took her hand, and bowed with flair. He didn’t recognize her at all. A little bit of her wanted to cry.

“Chat, you can't call her that.” Ladybird rolled her eyes.

“Well then, what should I call her?” His green eyes locked into hers.

“La Ruse Rouge.” Marinette wasn’t sure what possessed her to say that name. If anything, it felt like a cruel joke at Chat Noir’s expense. But it was the only thing that came to mind.

“Sexy, I like it.” His eyes glinted.

“Ignore him, he’s a naughty alley cat.” Ladybird laughed, ruffling his hair. “But now that introductions are over, it’s time to get serious. We’re dealing with someone who can manipulate reality, which is why I pulled you in. We have to trick the trickster.”

“But I don’t know how to use this.” Marinette clutched her flute in her hands.

“Just lean into your instincts, it’s easy.” As far as mentors went, Ladybird was pretty vague. But luckily Marinette had spent countless nights studying each Miraculous. They took off, following the tip Ladybird had received.

“So, Ruse Rouge, or should I call you tiny trickster.” Chat Noir said as they ran while Ladybird swung ahead of them. “How do you know Ladybird?”

“I don’t know her. I don’t know why she chose me.” She felt poorly that the lie came so easily, and suddenly her name seemed more like a cruel joke at her expense.

“There’s always a reason. I always trust Ladybird.” She was glad to see how happy Chat Noir seemed. She wondered for a moment if Ladybird and Chat Noir knew each other’s real identities. Had Chat Noir insisted they know when Alya started? Marinette wouldn’t blame him if he had. After all, he’d been so miserable under Ladybug’s policy, and then he was left behind. She watched the hero run, his blond hair tousled by the wind. What had she put him through?

“Look sharp team!” Ladybird stopped them, as they came upon a scene on the Seine. Carapace was holding the villain off, slinging his shield like a frisbee.

“At my signal, I want you to get as weird as you can, Ruse Rouge.” Marinette nodded, and took the flute from off her back. The two superheroes jumped down, and as the akuma reared back with his magic wand, Ladybird yelled “now!” Marinette called forth the power, and turned the world upside down, literally. Buildings mirrored and folded in on themselves like the beads in a kaleidoscope. The heroes continued their attack, and every time the akuma tried to bend reality, they came up with smoke. 

Marinette kept up the attack, knowing that after this, she’d run out of power. Where would she go to detransform? No matter what Alya and Chat Noir had decided, Marinette still needed to keep her identity secret. Right? 

Suddenly, she felt a whirling behind her. She turned around just in time to see a metallic fist coming straight for her. And something that had long been dormant kicked in. Marinette ducked the attack, swept the leg, and sent the akuma toppling. But he was quickly on his feet again, rearing back for another strike. And suddenly Chat Noir was there. Marinette watched him fight, recognizing his usual pace and style. She’d trained with him for so long, that falling into step with him to go on the offense was like writing her own name.

They beat back the akuma, right into the trap that Ladybird had been constructing using her lucky charm. With a final cataclysm, they made quick work of the akuma, and Paris had returned to normal once more. Marinette turned to Chat Noir, grinning widely. She’d nearly readied herself for their usual fist bump, when she realized what she was doing. She wasn’t supposed to know Chat Noir, and certainly wasn’t supposed to fist bump him. She felt herself deflate.

“Like I said, you’re a total natural. You sure you haven’t done this before?” Ladybird joked.

“You guys are just really inspiring, is all.” Marinette grimaced. Suddenly, a familiar chirping sound alerted the group to Marinette’s impending detransformation.

“Well I should get you back.” Alya sighed. Suddenly, Marinette realized that Chat had been staring at her, ever since the battle. She flushed. Had she done something wrong?

“Kitty, don’t be rude.” Ladybird scolded. This snapped him out of it.

“Sorry, just pawsitively stunned by my new favorite fox.” Marinette had forgotten much about Chat Noir, but she still could tell when he was putting on an act.

But she couldn’t do anything about it, so she followed Alya, back to the roof of the school. Marinette de-transformed, and gave back the necklace.

“If you ever need me again,” Marinette said suddenly. “Here’s my number.” It was a silly gesture. Alya already had her number. She wasn’t even sure why she was giving it to Alya, since she had no desire to be a superhero again.

Ladybird grinned, and thwipped off across the horizon. Marinette waited, before letting out a loud, long groan of frustration.

“What am I doing!?” She huffed, twirling and untwirling her hair in her fingers as she paced. “I can’t be a superhero again! Especially now that I’m in a relationship! What am I gonna do? Sneak out of a date to help Alya save Paris?”

It had been one of the main reason she and Luka broke up. That, and the fact that she was still in love with Adrien.

“Why does Alya even need me?” She kicked at a loose bit of concrete. “They’re doing so fine without me. And Trixx totally knew who I was. And what was up with Chat Noir? Why was he so weird?”

“Why was who so weird?” Came a voice, startling Marinette so much she let out a high yelp.

“Oh, sorry I scared you!” Adrien laughed, coming to catch Marinette in a deep kiss.

“How did you know I was here?” Seriously, was someone broadcasting her location?

“Lucky guess.” He pulled her closer, and Marinette wondered whether he could tell that something was different about her.

“Do you want to go to dinner?” She asked, taking his hand.

“Sure!” He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, and they headed back downstairs.

“Did you get a good look at the action?” Adrien asked.

“Pretty good, yeah.” She grimaced.

What had she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For La Ruse Rouge's appearance:  
> https://mostlymoony.tumblr.com/post/612491311005728768/one-year-ago-today-chapter-1-rookiehedgewitch#notes
> 
> https://mostlymoony.tumblr.com/post/612491194168147968/one-year-ago-today-chapter-1-rookiehedgewitch


	8. Three Years Ago

Adrien lived with Marinette’s family for two, glorious weeks. They spent mornings at the breakfast table, chatting while Adrien demolished two plates of food. Then Marinette was dragged away to school, while Adrien spoke to the police, or to his lawyers, in preparation for the trial. He still didn’t feel comfortable attending school physically, but Marinette took notes for him, and brought him his homework. When she returned for dinner, often with Nino and Alya in tow, they spent long nights working on homework, playing video games, and laughing. 

Marinette learned to cherish Adrien’s laugh. It was rare these days, and every time he laughed - a real laugh, not a forced chuckle he occasionally did to keep up appearances - she felt relief. It meant even more when she was the one that could make him laugh. 

But after two weeks, a distant cousin came and offered to take him in. The lean man, with his prim blonde hair and calculating green eyes, was very much an unwelcome presence in Marinette’s opinion. She and Adrien were doing just fine. This cousin certainly didn’t like, or even know, Adrien better than she did. 

“I’ve rented an apartment near the court, so he’ll be able to make it there and back easily.” The man said, his French oddly formal through his British accent. 

“Marinette, you can come visit. Right?” Adrien asked her, and then repeated his question in English to his cousin. The cousin, his mannerisms stilted and cold, nodded.

“Are you sure, Adrien? We’d be happy to have you stay with us for longer.” Marinette tried not to sound desperate.

“No, Felix is right. Now that the trial is officially starting, I don't want to interrupt your family’s schedule.” Marinette didn’t see it as an interruption at all. But she didn’t press him. She watched as Adrien drove off in Felix’s car, and sighed. 

“You’ll get to see him again.” Sabine comforted her daughter.

“I know, but I’m worried that this Felix won’t treat him well.” She said, spitting out Felix’s name like it was soured milk.

But her mom was right, of course. The next day Adrien invited her over. 

“Wow this place is really nice.” Nino whistled as Adrien let them in. In the end, Alya and Nino joined Marinette. “What does your cousin do?” 

“He's actually a writer. Between us, I think his fiancée is making all the money.” Just then, there was a loud crash from the other room. 

“Bridgette?” Adrien called in French. 

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Came a scrambled voice that sounded anything but fine. They followed Adrien into the kitchen, where they saw a deeply pregnant woman wrestling with a cupboard who’s contents threatened to spill out. Adrien acted quickly, taking her place and catching the pots as they fell. 

“Bridgette,” he sighed as he put things away. “You shouldn’t be taking risks like that.” 

“Oh it’s fine.” She laughed, tossing her stunningly long hair over her shoulders. Marinette marveled at the beautiful woman, in a chic dress despite her large belly. “You must be Adrien’s friends. It’s so nice to meet you. Do you guys want any snacks? We don’t have much but I could always go out to get something.” She gushed, clasping her hands together. 

“She’s like a puppy.” Marinette heard Alya mutter to Nino. And as she stepped forward, and nearly tripped over a pan, Marinette heard Nino add “a dangerously clumsy puppy.” 

“Bridgette, calm down.” A severe voice commanded in English. Felix stood in the doorframe, his expression distant and disapproving.

“But-“ her protest died on her tongue with one look. Bridgette sighed, following Felix in a slump out of the room. 

“Don’t stay up too late.” Felix called, though he didn’t seem much to care.

In the quiet of the couple’s absence, the teens were stunned. 

“Adrien, is everything ok?” Alya asked, delicately. “I mean, is this a safe environment?” 

“Oh, Bridgette can be excitable. And Felix is quiet. But they’re really nice.” 

“They might be nice, but that doesn’t make them good caretakers.” Nino protested. 

“Really, they’re great. Thanks for worrying though.” The three shared a concerned look, but they let the subject die there.

The night passed joyously, and only once more did Bridgette barge in, just “happening” to be walking by when she saw them playing a game. 

“Wow, I love that one! Can I-“ Marinette could practically see glitter in the woman’s eyes. 

“No, you can’t.” Her joy died under Felix’s sudden presence.

“But just one game!” Bridgette protested.

“My love, the kids don’t want to play with an old woman.” 

“I’m not an old woman!” She whined, as he practically pushed her out of the room. 

“I should probably get going.” Marinette said, taking the awkwardness as an excuse to head out. After all, patrol was quickly approaching. And she still had homework. 

“Same here. But we’ll come hang out again?” Adrien nodded enthusiastically. 

“You guys can come over whenever. Especially since there are no more crazy rules.” He grinned.

As the three walked back from the apartment, they shared a sense of guilt.

“Adrien’s gotta be hurting.” Nino sighed. 

“And now he’s dealing with them? It doesn’t seem exactly although Felix cares what happens to Adrien.” Marinette added.

“Guys, I don’t know. Maybe Adrien’s kind of jazzed to be away from his dad. He was a total psycho, after all.” Alya shrugged, looping her arm around Nino’s. 

Marinette hadn’t considered that. Despite their eccentricities, Bridgette and Felix must be degrees more normal than Gabriel when it came to parenting. One doting parent, and one nonchalant parent. Probably better than one extremely strict and actually evil parent, and one comatose one.

“But his mom. He might have to lose her all over again. And then put his dad in prison.” Marinette whispered.

“We don’t know about that. He could walk free.” Alya shrugged.

“Alya!” Marinette gasped. “There’s no way he’s not guilty.” 

“I don’t know, Marinette. Gabriel Agreste is a powerful dude. Powerful dudes generally tend to walk.” Nino offered.

“Then what happens to Adrien?” But no one could answer Marinette’s question, but they all imagined the worst.

“I think we should try to be as helpful as we can.” She resolved, and the others agreed. But they weren’t sure exactly what that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short, so I'm uploading another chapter this Friday!


	9. Present

Marinette’s very normal, very perfect life turned very odd and very frustrating very quickly after the night she became La Ruse Rouge. Ladybird more and more frequently decided they needed her help, calling Marinette into the fray. Even once while Adrien had gone to the bathroom during a date, Ladybird appeared out of the blue with the necklace. 

Marinette didn’t blame Alya for the frustration. In fact she didn’t think it was Alya’s fault at all. Marinette was sure that if she refused politely, Alya would understand. No, the fault all lay with Marinette. Every time she came face to face with the possibility to be a superhero again, Marinette said yes. 

“Hey RuRu.” Carapace grinned as they dropped down into the alley where the heroes had hidden. Yes, Marinette had joined the team so many times in the last few months that she had a nickname. One that only Carapace and Ladybird used, but still. 

Chat Noir, on the other hand, was visibly perturbed by Ruse Rouge’s presence.

“Hi Chat Noir.” Marinette said meekly. He blinked, taking a minute to realize she had spoken.

“Hey.” He said vaguely.

“Ok, enough formalities. Let’s get going.” They launched into battle, assuming their usual formation. Carapace provided cover so Ladybird could get close enough to land a good blow, while Chat Noir snuck up on the akuma. It was Ruse Rouge's job to observe from afar, seeing where the akuma might be hidden. Once she had, she joined the battle, creating illusions to confuse the akumatized villain long enough to let Ladybird or Chat Noir get at the source of the power. The one pro to having Marinette join the team was that the akumas were taken care of faster with a team of four, and Marinette could resume her usual life. 

“Hey, Ladybird?” Ruse Rouge asked as she and Ladybird darted away from the boys after the battle. 

“Yeah?” 

“Does Chat Noir dislike me?” The dark haired girl asked.

“What? No!” 

“He’s just so different with me than he is with you and Carapace. I hope I haven’t done anything to upset him.” Ladybird slowed to a stop, and Ruse Rouge matched her pace.

“You know, Chat Noir has some hangups when it comes to new partners.”

“Why is that?” Marinette asked, already knowing the answer.

“Well you know what happened with Ladybug.” In the public’s eye, Ladybug’s disappearance was just that. A disappearance. Some speculated that Ladybug had died, and others suspected she ran off and abandoned her duties. But the dominant theory was that she was injured, and chose Ladybird to be her heir. 

“She got sick, right?” Marinette lied again.

“Not exactly. This is a secret, but she retired. Chat Noir knew that it wasn’t a personal thing, but I think a small part of him still thinks that. He really loved Ladybug, you know.” Alya sighed. “Poor kitty. It took him months to acknowledge that I was the new Ladybug, and even longer to open up to me.” 

“Really? That’s kind of rude of him.” 

“I don’t really blame him. He was healing a broken heart. But I think he’s over her now. I even think he found someone else.” A nasty feeling rose inside Marinette. 

“He has a girlfriend?” She said, her voice jumping an octave. 

“I'm not sure. He asks the weirdest questions about women though. So I think maybe he’s trying to feel something out about a girl.” 

“That’s great for him.” Why did Marinette care if Chat Noir had moved on? She never even liked him. Plus, it wasn’t as though she’d ever see Chat Noir as Ladybug again. Plus, she was dating Adrien. Which was leagues better than Chat Noir.

“Yeah. He seems so happy. But I think it will just take him a bit of time to get used to you.” Marinette smiled, relieved to hear it. But then she caught herself. Relieved to hear that she’ll have enough time to see him? Meaning she’ll be Ruse Rouge frequently enough to get to know Chat Noir well? That’s the opposite of what she wanted! 

After she’d returned her miraculous to Alya, the realization that she’d left Adrien on his own crashed down over Marinette. The park was a mess of people, looking for their loved ones. Marinette looked frantically around the park for Adrien, looking for his golden hair in the chaos. Where was he? Has he been captured by the villain and dropped in a totally different part of Paris? Suddenly, Marinette heard someone calling her name. 

“Marinette!” The voice cried, crashing into her from behind. “Oh my god, you’re ok. You’re ok.” Adrien said, burying his face in her hair and wrapping her up in a bone crushing hug from behind. 

“Yes, I’m ok! What happened to you?” She turned in his arms, looking up at him.

“I hid in the bathroom. I should have come for you though.” He said, looking guilty. 

“No!” Marinette cried. “I hid too, so you wouldn’t have found me.” 

“That one was bad.” He sighed, kissing her on the forehead and holding her tight.

“Yeah. But it was over quickly.” Suddenly, Marinette’s phone buzzed in her pocket.

“Oh shit.” Marinette hissed, reading over the text from Chloe.

“What’s up?” Adrien said.

“I totally forgot about her installation tomorrow. I have to go help her get ready.” They rushed to the subway, and Marinette worried over what she needed to prepare.

“I wish I could come to the show, but I’m seeing my mom tomorrow.” Adrien said, as they stood outside the bakery. 

“It’s ok, I’ll send Chloe your love.” 

“By the way…” Adrien said, biting his bottom lip. “My mom would really like to meet you. Would it be ok if we met her sometime soon?” He smiled sheepishly. “I know she’s kind of not all there, and it might be a bit weird, but it would mean so much and-“ 

“Hey,” Marinette hushed, squeezing his hand. “I’d love to meet your mom. Just name a date.” The boy brightened, and pulled the girl in for a long kiss. 

“I like you a lot.” He breathed.

“I know, I like you a lot, but I really have to get ready or Chloe will have my head for not helping her prep.” She said, kissing him quickly on the cheek and heading inside.


	10. Three Years Ago

“So Felix is a writer.” Marinette said, as she and Adrien stretched out their picnic blanket. “And what does Bridgette do?” The teens looked towards the adults, who were bickering by the ice cream stand.

“She’s a lawyer actually.” He said.

“No way.” Alya laughed.

“I’m serious! She’s a great lawyer. Good enough that they let her commute in from Paris when they need her."

“But she’s so…” Marinette trailed off, not wanting to be mean.

“Scatterbrained.” Alya, never one to pull her punches, finished.

“I know she seems that way. But she’s really smart.” Adrien assured, while, in the distance, Bridgett dropped the ice cream she’d just been handed.

“And they’re staying here for a year with you?”

“Give or take. I guess it depends on how long the trial will last.” A grim look passed between the friends. The trial, due to start tomorrow, had garnered so much attention that they had had to change the date and time multiple times to throw the press off their trail. And the family lawyer had told Adrien to prepare to hear many untoward things about his family. 

Several stories, damning Gabriel’s character had already been released and made their way through the media. One regarding Gabriel’s rowdy youth, and another regarding something Emilie had apparently once said to a close confident. Marinette hadn’t read them herself, but she’d gotten the spark notes from Alya.

Marinette grimaced, thinking of her own role in the proceedings. Well, not her role, but Ladybug’s.

“The lead prosecutor wants to bring us as witnesses in the Agreste Case.” She’d told Chat Noir one night as they wrapped up patrol. The cat tensed visibly.

“What does he want us for?” He said.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. They’re trying to decide if Gabriel Agreste is the most dangerous villain in Paris, the very one we were created to stop? Of course they’re going to want to talk to us!” She chuckled

“Ok, I guess just tell me when I should be there.” Replied Chat Noir, in a much subdued tone.

“What does your lawyer think?” Nino asked, sprawling out on the blanket.

“He’s been nice about everything, but to be honest, he seems nervous. I don’t think odds are great.” The group fell quiet, none of them knew what to say to a boy who was about to lose his father. Marinette couldn’t get a good read on Adrien. He was too polite to be honest with how he was feeling, but he genuinely seemed very happy with Felix and Bridgette.

“Ok, here’s the ice cream!” The dark-haired woman cheered.

“Why do you look so proud? You dropped the first one.” Felix deadpanned.

“So how did you two meet?” Alya asked, carefully taking her cone from Bridgette. 

“Well,” Bridgette began, settling herself next to her husband.

“Bridgette was a creepy stalker who was obsessed with me for years.” Felix interrupted.

“What? I was not!” Bridgette argued.

“She was so annoying back in uni. She’d always have some extra ticket for a concert, or a new restaurant she wanted to try, or book she wanted to tell me about.” He continued, ignoring her. “Of course I was an awful prick back then.”

“Back then?” Marinette heard Alya mutter, mostly to herself.

“It wasn’t until we were both out of uni before I finally agreed to go out on a date with her and I realized how great she was.” A softness entered his gaze, as he ran a hand through Bridgette's long hair. And then, he added with a sad smile: “I said yes mostly just to show her I wasn’t worth the effort.” 

After a long day in the park, they returned to Bridgette and Felix’s flat for takeout. While the others clustered around the TV, and the dance dance revolution Alya had brought, and Felix slunk back to his cave of an office, Marinette helped Bridgette clean up.

“If you don’t mind me asking.” Marinette began, her voice quiet. “How come you never gave up on Felix? Back when he didn’t like you back.”

“Hmm,” the woman thought, drying her hands. “You know it just didn’t seem like an option to me. I’ve been told that I have a one track mind. I’ll get onto something, and stick with it.” She chuckled.

“I see.” The girl responded, going back to cleaning.

“But I fell in love with him all those years ago because it seemed as though he needed to be loved, and I knew I was that person. Felix’s mom died a long time ago, and his dad wasn’t exactly the caring type. He put up a lot of walls to protect himself, but was still hurting. I guess I wanted to help him heal that hurt.” She explained, her gaze lost in the dish she was cleaning.

“And you never thought about giving up?” Marinette pressed.

“I wouldn’t give up, Marinette. Maybe don’t be as pushy as me, but just be there for him. He’s young, and in pain. Now more than ever is when he needs your kindness and love.” The older woman smiled, and Marinette felt her face go bright red.

“I’m not, I mean I don’t-“ she began to protest, but Bridgette just laughed.

“You can’t fool me, Marinette. I am the queen of pining, I can recognize a crush anywhere. But don’t worry, I won’t tell.” They finished the dishes making amiable, but maybe less personal conversation, and then Marinette joined her friends while Bridgette joined her husband.

As they left the flat, Adrien and Bridgette saw them out.

“I’m rooting for you!” Bridgette called to Marinette as they walked down the stairs.

“What does that mean?” Alya asked.

“I have no idea.” Marinette lied, trying to hide the flush on her cheeks and ears.

“What a weird lady.” Nino shook his head.


	11. Present

As she sat quietly in Chat Noir’s arms, hiding from the akuma as he tore her school apart looking for her, Marinette decided things had officially gotten out of hand. 

The evening started out very well. She’d spent all of yesterday evening helping Chloe set up, and then came back in the morning to style her models. Chloe, in her classic style, had rented out a whole studio for the event, hired photographers, and set up an open bar. While she mingled with her guests, her smile as sparkly and seductive as her outfit, Chloe seemed to shine brighter than she normally did. And even though this was just a class project, it felt like a real fashion show.

Marinette quickly grouped up with some of her friends from class, and chatted idly by the bar. 

“I’m going to run to the bathroom before the show starts. Can you watch my stuff?” Her friend asked.

“Sure! I’ll be right here.” The dark-haired girl smiled, and turned back to her phone. 

“I miss you.” She read the text from Adrien that was waiting on her screen, and smiled.

“You have a lovely smile.” A voice purred, and Marinette looked up from her phone. An older man stood before her, leaning too close. 

“Oh, that’s kind of you.” She forced a smile, and turned back to her phone, hoping he’d leave her alone.

“So what brings you to the Mayor’s daughter’s little soirée.” 

“She’s a friend of mine.” 

“I’m close personal friends with Audrey Bourgeois. Timothee Brodeur, and your name is?” He said his name as though he expected her to know who she was. She didn't. 

“Marinette.” She replied, trying to be as terse as possible. The best way to deal with creeps like him was just to ignore them until they got bored.

“You know, there are so many young pretty girls who would be dying to make my acquaintance.” He huffed.

“Well that must be nice for you. But unfortunately I’m not one of them.” Marinette snapped. The man was incensed for a moment, but then gathered his drink with a huff. 

“Bitch.” He sneered, turning to leave. Marinette felt very small all of a sudden. She’d just wanted to be left alone. Was that really too much to ask? Did that really merit name calling? But it was easier just to let him walk away. 

“Excuse me!” A shrill voice broke through the crowd. Marinette turned, to see Chloe standing right in front of him, towering over him in her heels. 

“Did I just hear you call my dear friend a bitch?” She set her hands on her hips, and Marinette couldn’t help but smirk. He was so in for it. 

“Mademoiselle Bourgeois, you know me, I would never say anything against such a beautiful woman.” he tried to defend himself, but Chloe would not have it.

“No! I don’t know you, or what backwards hole you just climbed out of but I’m feeling nice, so let me give you a little lesson for free. You’re in the 21st century, in Paris. Here, that kind of derogatory and regressive language will not be tolerated. I’d like you to leave.” The crowd was listening now, and the man’s face had gone bright red with shame. He bristled, but stormed out. As the crowd died back down and people went about their business, Chloe ordered two drinks from the bar. 

“Thanks Chloe.” Marinette smiled, leaning her head against Chloe’s shoulder. 

“Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.” 

“I wish I had that kind of bravery.” 

“You goon. You were Ladybug, of course you have that kind of bravery.” 

“But I don’t.” Marinette slumped. “Ladybug had all the courage and strength and cool comebacks. Marinette doesn’t.” 

“I personally disagree. Now, momma needs to get back to schmoozing.” And with a toss of her hair, Chloe sauntered back into the throngs of people. 

But because this was Paris, and apparently one bad day is cause for city wide panic, Papillette chose that jerk as her next champion. He burst into the venue in the middle of the show, sending models scurrying like ants.  
He went on a long rant about how few women were truly worthy of his attention, and about how if they wouldn’t respect him, he’d make them. And then he shot Chloe, who was completely unguarded, using a measuring tape like a whip, turning her to a marble statue.

“And now, for the next ingrate who disrespected me, Marinette.” 

But she was Marinette. 

She sprung to life, trying to blend into the crowd to hide herself. But her stupid yellow dress stood out in the all-black Parisian crowd. It was a “shoot me here” sign above her head. 

“Stop right there!” He cried, leaping off the stage after her. Marinette felt panic rise to the back of her throat like bile, and her survival instincts took over. She ran like mad, bursting onto the street, and barreling towards the park. Maybe she could lose him. Maybe she could out run him. Maybe she could find a way to beat him. 

But she wasn’t Ladybug, she wasn’t Ruse Rouge, she was just Marinette. She couldn’t do anything. 

Suddenly, the mad cackling behind her stopped. She dared to look over her shoulder, and found that she was no longer being pursued. Which made her all the more frightened. He could be anywhere. 

She felt like her heart might burst, as she looked around her, trying to count the shadows in the park. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run, but she was frozen. Suddenly, she saw a flash on her left. She turned just in time to see the Akuma approach, a mad look in his eye, measuring tape wound back to snap.

And then, a flash of red crashed into him, sending him flying. 

“Al-I mean Ladybird!” Marinette cried.

“Hey girl, sorry I’m late. Come with me.” She grabbed Marinette’s hand, and leapt away from the park before the man could recover. 

“Are you o-“

“The Fox miraculous. Do you have it?” Marinette cut in. 

“Yeah - but are you alright?” Ladybird seemed startled by her friend’s ferocity.

“I’m fine, but I can’t do anything to help without it. We should get going.” 

“You’re right.” Alya nodded, handing Marinette the charm. As that familiar surge of power rushed through her, Marinette felt her anxieties wash away. It would be alright now. She could lose him, she could out run him, she could trick him. 

They sprung forward, where Carapace and Chat were launching a full attack against the akuma, and the leagues of statue women he’d brought to life.

“Where are you hiding her? Where is Marinette?” He roared.

“You’ll never find her!” Ladybird taunted, knocking him off his feet with her yo-yo.

“That’s what you say. I’ll leave you with some of my masterpieces, while I find her.” And with that, a surge of statues rounded the corner, and the akumatized man was off.

“We have to chase after him.” Chat cried.

“Don’t worry, Chat. He won’t hurt Marinette. She’s safe.” Ladybird confirmed, but Chat looked undone. 

“I need to find her.” He said.

“Chat, I said-“ Ladybird tried to step in.

“No!” The blonde haired superhero hissed. They were quiet for a minute, before La Ruse Rouge stepped between them. 

“I can take him to Marinette.” She whispered. Ladybird gave Marinette a look, but the dark haired superhero nodded covertly.

“Ok. Just be safe. Carapace and I will take care of this.” And then Alya was off, beating her way through a sea of statues.

“She’s hiding in her school.” It was on the other side of town, surely that would put enough distance between them and the fight. 

They ran off across the city, and Marinette couldn’t help but notice how solemn Chat Noir was.

“You are really concerned about this girl.” She said. But she didn’t know why. Chat Noir and Marinette had only interacted a few times. It didn’t make sense. Chat Noir didn’t respond.

“Yeah, but it isn’t any of your business.” He snapped. 

“Listen, I know you don’t like me, and that’s fine, but could you at least pretend to be indifferent to me?” He slowed, or stumbled, for just a minute.

“I don’t dislike you.” His ears drooped.

“But you don’t like me.” The Fox superhero pointed out, as they dropped onto the roof of the school. 

“I’m not good with new people. Ok?” He sighed, looking beleaguered. 

“I don't think that's true. You were good with me at first. But you’ve gotten meaner.” She followed him down through the stairs. The entire school was washed by the dim hue of red emergency lights. The light bounced off of Chat’s black costume, setting his green eyes practically glowing with menace.

Marinette knew she needed an excuse to escape and de-transform. But how? An answer settled heavily on her shoulders, as Chat Noir paced down the hall, throwing doors open violently. He was desperate.

“You didn’t answer me?” She said, determined.

“What?” He spun around, clearly frustrated.

“You’ve gotten meaner since we first met. Did I do something to upset you?” Marinette spoke clearly.

“What? No. Listen, this really isn’t the time-“ He turned, but Marinette wouldn’t let it drop.

“I think you’re scared I’ll replace you.” It hurt Marinette to hurt Chat Noir using knowledge that only she could know. She’d always known how jealous he could get. As Carapace became closer to the team, the cat superhero would get into moods. He’d never said it out loud, but Ladybug always knew that Chat was protective of her attention. 

“What?” He snarled.

“Tell me if I’m off base, but I think you’ve somehow got it in your head that I’ll get close to Ladybird and she won’t need you. But listen, it’s ok, I’m not going to-“

“I know you think that you’re hot shit because you get to play at superhero, but you’re nothing.” The words struck through La Ruse Rouge. Chat Noir was a strong and fearsome fighter, but he was never cruel. But this was cruel. And this is what Marinette had wanted.

“I see.” She said, gathering herself up.

“Well, if I’m nothing, then you won’t mind if I leave.” She gave Chat a withering glare that she barely had to fake, and then turned on her heel up the stairs.

When she was out of sight, she leaned against the wall and headed out a sigh. What a nightmare. She de-transformed, sharing a sad look with the kwami.

“I'm a terrible person.” She frowned, nuzzling the little creature.

“I think you did what you had to do.” It was reassuring, but it wasn’t Tikki. She missed Tikki.

“I guess I should go back down and play the part of the terrified girl.” She ran a hand through her long hair. She’d grown it out because she loved how it looked on Bridgette. But now it just felt like dead weight.  
She collected herself, and stumbled into the hallway. 

“Chat Noir?” She said, trying to sound breathy. God she was unforgivable.

“Are you ok?” He was on her in an instant, checking her for injuries.

“I’m fine. The other superhero told me to find you.”

“The other- oh.” His face fell slightly. “Listen, we have to get you to safety.”

Suddenly, there was a crashing that echoed up the stairwell. Marinette didn’t need to be told twice. Chat Noir took her hand, and the pair ran down the halls. In the red glow, the empty school was terrifying. She no longer needed to play the role of terrified victim, now the emotions came for free. They paused, hiding in an art room as Chat’s staff beeped.

“What is it? The akuma is here.” He asked.. 

“Shit." Ladybird's voice echoed back. "Already? Ok, we can’t keep outrunning him. We have to stand and fight. Clear anyone in the school out, fortify the floor so the statues can’t get to you. You and RuRu hold down the fort until we get there.”

“Actually, about that…” Chat deflated. Marinette tried to busy herself by looking out for the akuma so as to disguise her shameful eavesdropping. 

“What did you do?” 

“I said something that hurt her feelings. She left.” 

“Chat Noir! We talked about this. She’s part of the team, you have to get over yourself.” This struck Marinette. They’d talked about her.

“I know, can you scold me later? I have Marinette, and I need to get her to safety.” Alya rolled her eyes, putting two and two together.

“Fine. We’ll be there soon.” The line went dead, and Chat Noir took a moment to compose himself.

“Ok, we need to get moving. Can you help me barricade the doors?” Marinette nodded. They set to work, dragging anything they could find into the stairs. The akuma could easily get over the barricades, but it would keep the statues at bay.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” Marinette said in the quiet work.

“Yeah. It’s been a year or two?” He said, offering a friendly smile. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been well.” And then the realization hit her like a sack of bricks. This was the first time, since giving up the Ladybug Miraculous, that she was talking on her own with Chat Noir. Not with Ladybird, not as Ruse Rouge. “How are you?”

“Honestly? I’ve been better.” His smile grew sad. “I thought that I was moving on since Ladybug retired. I was doing ok. But there’s something La Ruse Rouge - that new superhero you just saw - brings out the worst in me.” It was quiet between them for a moment, and Marinette wanted to come clean right there. To tell him that he didn’t have to hurt. It was her, she’d been watching over him this whole time. But she knew it wouldn’t help him. It would only help her wash away her guilty conscience.

“She’s so similar to Ladybug. The way she fights, especially. It pulls me right back to where I was a year ago.”

“Are you mad at Ladybug for abandoning Paris?” Marinette couldn’t help but ask. Chat turned to face her, and she thought he’d be angry. But he was smiling sadly. 

“How could I be ever mad at her?” 

“She told me to find someone else to take my place. So I could retire too. But I can’t leave. This is all I have left of her.” He gripped his staff tight, his leather gloves straining at his knuckles. 

“I don’t know much about Ladybug, but I know she’d want you to rest. I’m sure of it.” Marinette reached out, and placed a hand on his. Just then, the sound of a door being kicked in resounded through the hallway.  
“We have to hide.” He whispered, pulling her into his arms. He carried her to a classroom, and they ducked behind a podium. Marinette’s heart thudded against her chest, threatening to burst. But so did Chat Noir’s. It thumped against her, racing a mile a minute. It was quiet, until the banging began. It started at the far end of the hallway, with doors being knocked in and student projects being thrown to the floor. And then the chaos got closer. And closer. Until they heard footsteps stop outside the door to the classroom they’d taken refuge in.

“I know you’re in there you little bitch.” The voice spat from behind the door. Chat Noir tensed against her, letting out a low growl. But it was nothing compared to the anger Marinette felt. What a terrible night. If this idiot had just left her alone, then she wouldn’t have had to run across the city terrified. She wouldn’t have had to hurt Chat Noir’s feelings. She wouldn’t have to be hiding in a classroom like a scared little girl.  
With a bang, the door blew open, and the akuma stepped inside. 

“No use hiding now. Stay safe.” Chat Noir set his hand on her cheek, before standing in full view of the akuma. 

“You know, there’s no forgiving language like that.” He said, his tone darker than his usual taunting jeer. And then they were fighting. Chat Noir had grown more dangerous with practice. Though he still favored front-on attacks, he hit harder and moved faster than he did when she was Ladybug. He held off the akuma for a while, and looked close to defeating him, but in his confidence, he made himself vulnerable, and the akuma sent Chat flying into the wall. 

“Chat!” Marinette couldn’t stop herself from shouting as his body slumped motionless to the floor. The akuma swiveled, his eyes growing dark with malice. 

Before she could get to her feet, he’d gathered her hair around his fist, and lifted her from the ground. Her legs kicked at the air as she screamed in pain. Every bone in her body was telling her to transform and kick his ass. But that would make her, and everyone around her, vulnerable. Papillette was ruthless, and would use this to destroy all of them. 

In a moment of strength, she reared her legs up and kicked out, her feet finding contact with the akuma’s chest. He flew back, dropping her to the ground. Marinette took no time to scramble to her feet and run from the room. She should have stayed to fight, to protect Chat, but she wasn’t in control anymore. She barreled up the stairs, towards the roof. She could tell he was following from the growling shouts that bounced up off the concrete walls of the staircase. She burst onto the roof, the cold night air hitting her sweat-drenched face. 

“Trixx, let’s pounce.” She said, pulling the little kwami from its hiding place in her bag and into the necklace. With a flash, everything was ok again.

“Where did she go?” The akuma growled as he burst onto the roof. Marinette didn’t answer, she just ran forward with a yell, and punched him across the face. The monster stumbled back, but Marinette didn’t relent. She struck again and again, not giving him the chance to lay a finger on her. It was as though the more she hit him now, the less trauma would catch up to her later. 

“Ruse Rouge, that’s enough!” Ladybird’s voice cut through the tunnel vision of pain and anger. Suddenly, they were back on the roof of her university. Marinette dropped the man, and backed away. Her fists dripped with blood - his and hers, and her chest heaved with labored breaths. She stepped away, and then collapsed to her knees. Ladybird made short work of the akuma, crushing the little butterfly in her hands after it was purified.

Marinette was aware of motion around her - of Ladybird telling Carapace to get the man back home, of Chat Noir bursting onto the roof to ask where Marinette was, of Ladybird setting the city right - but she reacted to none of it. Her body had gone numb, and it wasn’t from the pain of her brutal attack. That was the good thing about Ladybird’s powers. After the bloody battle was done, all physical wounds vanished along with the damage to the city. But mental wounds were harder to magic away. 

“Hey.” Marinette jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up from the ground she’d been staring at for the last 15 minutes. It was Ladybird, staring down at her with concern on her face. “It’s just us.”  
And that’s when the tears came. Marinette cried harder than she’d ever cried in her life. Maybe except when she said a final goodbye to Tikki. The tears came, and they didn’t stop for a good fifteen minutes. Snot and sweat and tears made her face wet. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” When the sobbing had stopped, Marinette spoke through hiccups. 

“I know.” Ladybird sat next to her, wrapping an arm around the dark-haired girl. Marinette didn’t want Ladybird. She wanted Alya. She wanted Adrien. She wanted her own body, and her own clothes.

“I can take it back. I won’t call on you anymore.” 

“I’m sorry. I let you down.” Marinette sniffled, once the necklace was safely back in Ladybird’s possession. 

“You didn’t let me down. You did what you could. And you did a great job at it. This one was really rough.” The red and black superhero squeezed Marinette tight. 

“Now, come on. Let’s get you home.” 

Back home in the quiet of her bedroom, Marinette felt haunted by the night’s events. She texted Chloe that she was ok, and told Adrien that she didn’t want him coming over, she just wanted to be alone for a bit. They’d meet up tomorrow. She sat on her bed and watched hamster Tikki run around and around in his wheel, and she couldn’t help but notice the sad resemblance to her own situation. She could move to America, or even to the North Pole, and this other life would still find a way to catch up to her. 

Marinette flopped back on the bed, and was immediately irritated by the feeling of her long hair tugging under her back. 

No. She’d made a decision one year ago to turn away from this life, and a little relapse wouldn’t stop her. She was committed to her decision. 

She stood, barely aware of what she was doing, and pulled the scissors from her supplies cabinet. 

She yanked at her hair, pulling the long mane to one side, feeling the tug against her scalp. 

The first cut was scary, the next and every one after that was freedom.


	12. Three Years Ago

This wasn’t the first time Ladybug had made an appearance in court. She and Chat Noir did more for Paris than just stop akumas. They’d taken down normal criminals as well, and sometimes needed to appear before court to act as witnesses. But, as she stared down Gabriel Agreste, she realized that this was different. 

“Miss Ladybug?” The prosecuting lawyer said, and Ladybug snapped from her reverie. 

“Sorry, could you please repeat the question?” She shifted in her seat. 

“Of course. In your opinion, what is the character of the man behind the Hawkmoth mask?” 

“He is a desperate, deeply unhappy man.” She said, dragging her gaze away from Gabriel Agreste. Once the trial had started, Ladybug all the more convinced that Gabriel deserved to be behind bars. Emilie’s sister told the court about a message she’d received from Emilie shortly before she died. It read, clear as day, that she was scared of Gabriel and was planning to take Adrien away with her. He was a different man now, power hungry. They’d gotten in over their heads. She couldn’t explain with what. But it was clear to Ladybug what Emilie had been referring to when a peacock brooch was presented to the court. 

“Could you please elaborate?” 

“Hawkmoth’s abilities allow him to feed off of strong emotions, and select champions to fight for him. You can use these powers for good, feeding off of positive emotions, like love and joy and pride. But Hawkmoth chose to focus on negative emotions. He was a man, sitting in his high tower, just waiting for someone to feel loss, or jealousy, or anger.” She spoke clearly, and with passion, but tried to seem impartial. 

“And his quest to gain the powers of Ladybug and Chat Noir was a deeply unsettling one. Combined, these powers allow the user to make one wish. But the wish comes at a steep price.” 

“And do you think that Gabriel Agreste fits the profile of this man?” 

“I think Gabriel Agreste was deeply devoted to bringing his sick wife back to health. As we’ve learned, he spent millions trying to find a cure for her illness. Grief and fear could drive a person to do terrible things.”  
“But do you think he could have spent years terrorizing the entire city in order to bring one person back?” The courtroom was on the edge of their seats as they waited on bated breath for Ladybug’s response. She knew how much power her words held. Even in a jury of impartial observers, she could sway the decision. She thought about Adrien. After weeks of testimonies, from Adrien, to his bodyguard, to Nathalie, it was clear to everyone that Adrien needed to be placed as far as possible from Gabriel. But what right did Ladybug have to make that decision for Adrien?

“Ladybug, we need a yes or no answer.” The judge urged. 

“I-” Ladybug stammered, feeling her confidence crumble away under the weight of the eyes of the entire courtroom. 

“I don’t know, your honor. I don’t think I can say-”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” A voice cut through the silence. 

“Chat!” Ladybug hissed, as the leather-clad superhero stood defiantly before her. 

“Chat Noir, I ask that you please-” The judge began, but Chat disregarded the judge completely. 

“Ladybug, you and I both know the truth. We haven’t found his miraculous yet, but we found the missing peacock miraculous instead. We found a stolen book detailing the power of each miraculous in his possession. We found a goddamn lair decked out in butterfly patterns in the guy’s attic. How can there be any doubt in your mind that he isn’t Hawkmoth?” 

“What I personally think isn’t the point, Chat.” She stood, fuming. “This is a legal procedure. I can’t just go spouting off my personal opinions. That isn’t fair.”

“Fair? You think this guy cares about fair? You think what he did to his son was fair?” Chat’s voice cracked as he spoke, and anger flared in his green eyes. 

“Chat Noir. I am asking you to sit down and let the proceedings continue. If you continue to disobey, you and Ladybug will both be held in contempt of court.” Chat glowered at the judge, but was quiet. He turned on his heel, and stomped out of the court room. 

“I want to apologize for my partner.” Ladybug felt a flush creep over her face. “You have to understand that Hawkmoth has taken a lot from us. Chat Noir and I have lives outside of being superheroes. Lives that we’ve had to put on hold to help take him down. And I know I am so lucky to be helping so many people. And I know Chat Noir feels the same. But if we can capture Hawkmoth, if we can finally end this, it means that we get our lives back. But what I want isn’t more important than justice. So no, I cannot say for certain that Gabriel Agreste fits the profile of Hawkmoth. I see a lot of evidence pointing towards the connection, but I can’t be sure.” 

But certainty didn’t seem to matter in this case. After Ladybug’s testimony, it was basically accepted as fact that Gabriel Agreste and Hawkmoth were one in the same. A few more months rolled on, and the whole trial started to feel like they were beating a dead horse. And finally, the verdict came. It was no surprise that the man was found guilty of both the kidnapping of Emilie Agreste, and of domestic terrorism. 

“Are you sure he wants to see us?” Marinette shifted uncomfortably outside the door of Felix and Brigitte’s flat. Adrien had gone silent after the verdict had been announced. According to tabloid stories, it was said that he refused to say goodbye to his father before the man was taken to prison. Chat Noir had also gone dark, with some lousy excuse about needing a little break from it all. He’d be back in a few weeks. Marinette didn’t blame him. He’d been erratic ever since his outburst in the court. Angrier, more violent, less predictable. Some time off was probably a good idea. 

“Yeah, he texted me to come over.” Nino was about to ring a second time, when a very exhausted Felix met them at the door. 

“Good. More children.” The man mumbled in English, which they all understood. He stepped aside, looking down at them from deep bags under his eyes. To their surprise, the entire flat was dark, and horribly messy.

“Poor Adrien.” Marinette whispered. 

“Dude must be taking even worse than I thought.” Nino replied. They made their way through the dark flat, stepping over crumpled clothes and half-finished boxes of takeout to the room that Adrien had been calling his for the last few months. 

“Hey Adrien,” Alya said, pushing the door open, only to be shushed. Rather than a sobbing, grief-stricken boy who’d just lost his father, they came face to face with a bright-eyed blonde boy, grinning with wild delight as he cradled an infant. 

“Is that Brigitte’s boy?” Alya cooed, rushing forward to get a better look. 

“He was born right after the trial. That’s why I haven’t reached out. I’ve been helping out to give Brigitte and Felix a break.” He whispered, rocking the baby steadily. 

“He’s so gorgeous.” Marinette peered into the baby’s green eyes. She looked up at Adrien, expecting to see sadness in his eyes. But there was only calm. He looked, maybe for the first time since she’d met him, peaceful. Adrien looked away from the baby, and smiled at Marinette. Her cheeks went a deep red. 

“Isn’t baby Emile beautiful?” Brigitte said, leaning against the door. Felix stood behind her, and even though he still looked exhausted, he couldn’t help but smile. Congratulations were shared, and tea was made, and they found themselves sitting around the coffee table where they’d met almost every day for the last few months to help Adrien through the whole ordeal. Brigitte and Felix took the baby and gave the teens space. 

“How are you feeling?” Nino ventured. 

“You know, I don’t really know how to feel. One minute I’m angry, and the next minute I’m sad, and then I’m just happy that he’s gone. I feel free. And I feel bad about feeling free, because he was my dad after all. I guess I’m just confused.” In a minute of bravery, Marinette set her hand on his. 

“It’s going to be ok. And we’ll be here for you no matter what.”


	13. Present

When Marinette opened the door for Adrien, her heart was racing. She reached back, trying to run her hands through her hair like she always did when she was anxious, but there was nothing there.

“Marinette, wow.” He said, agog. Marinette flushed, and automatically rushed back into her room. She passed her mirror, and got a glimpse of the damage she’d done last night. She’d just wanted the hair off of her, to get rid of that terrible reminder of what had been done to her. But it felt so good to cut, so she just kept going. That night she cut her hair to just below her ears. The next morning, when she woke up to a pile of hair in her floor, she realized that it looked awful, so she kept going until it was a neat boy cut.

“I know it’s a big change, but I think it looks good.” She said, trying to prepare for the insult or the passive aggressive remark. But there was none. Instead, Adrien threw his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you Marinette.” He whispered, squeezing tighter and tighter. Marinette looped her arms around his back, and relished in the feeling of his warm skin against her fingertips and palms.

“It’s ok. I’m ok.” She said, mostly to herself. She’d been going over why this one was different. She’d come face to face with millions of akumas before. She’d even been chased down by akumas. But that was all when she was Ladybug. When it was just her, when she was powerless, things were different. 

“Do you still want to meet my mom? We don’t have to. I can call to reschedule.” Marinette pulled away, remembering that they’d made plans.

“No! I really want to meet her. Let me just get my things.” She grabbed a baseball hat from her shelf, and tugged it down over her hair.

“Wait, don’t do that.” Adrien said suddenly. “I want to see your hair.”

“Really?” Marinette bit her bottom lip. “You don’t think it’s ridiculous?”

“I think it’s you, so it’s beautiful.” And just like that, the terror of the night before washed away. It would creep back in occasionally, but she had Adrien calling her beautiful and holding her hand, even as she weathered the shocked looks of her parents as she finally came downstairs for the first time since last night. How could she be sad? 

Marinette smoothed her dress for the millionth time as she waited outside Emilie Graham de Vanily (formerly Emilie Agreste)’s hospital room. Adrien went in first, just to remind Emilie that Marinette was coming. From what Adrien had told Marinette, Emilie was weak from the years she spent in a coma. Her motor skills were poor, and unlikely ever to return to full capacity, and her memory was fragile.

Marinette tried not to seem nervous, but how could she not be? She was meeting Adrien’s mom, the woman who had spent years in a coma, trapped by her mad husband. And this was Marinette’s first time meeting her. It wasn’t Ladybug’s. 

“Marinette, she’s feeling ok. Why don’t you come in?” Adrien poked his head out from inside, and Marinette nodded. Smoothing her skirt one last time, she made her way in.

The room was full of flowers. Some were bouquets sent to her by her sister, but many others were potted plants, lush and overgrown. A smell of earth and roses and lavender hung on the air, making it feel less like a hospital and more like a cozy bedroom. At the center of all this greenery was arguably the most beautiful woman Marinette had ever seen. Her long blonde hair was braided down the side, glinting silver and gold in the sun. Her eyes were warm and green, just like Adrien’s. Draped in a white gown, she looked like a goddess surrounded by these plants, and Marinette didn’t know what to say. So the woman spoke first.

“Marinette, it’s so nice to meet you. Adrien’s said so many wonderful things.” She extended a hand, slowly, as if the act was laborious. Marinette rushed to take her hand.

“It’s so nice to meet you as well, Ms. Graham de Vanily.” Emilie laughed, and it was like the sound of the bells that hung above the door to the bakery. Bright, and cheery.

“Please, call me Emilie.” She said. Marinette sat next to Adrien, her hand still in Emilie’s. “Now, tell me all about yourself, and please catch me up on any details about my son. I want to hear the good and the bad.”   
Emilie was nothing like Marinette had imagined. She was whip smart, and kept up with their conversation as Marinette explained every detail of their high school experience, recalling details from stories that Adrien had told her. At a certain point, one of the nurses came to make sure everything was ok, and Emilie welcomed the man with the graciousness of a queen. Everything about her was regal.

About two hours into the visit, she grew very quiet. She didn’t ask as many questions, and the warmth in her eyes began to dull. Marinette felt the woman’s eyes watching her, and tried not to feel self conscious. Had she done something wrong?

“I think maybe that’s enough for today.” Adrien sighed, standing to clear away the tea cups they’d set out.

“Oh, we’ve just gotten started.” Emilie protested.

“Maman, you need your rest. I’ll bring Marinette around again. I promise.”

“Ok, but may I speak with Marinette privately for a minute?” Marinette tensed for a minute, and she saw confusion in Adrien’s expression as well. But he shrugged, and stepped outside.

“He’s my son, but why do I feel like he’s the parent?” She winked at Marinette. 

“It’s wonderful to meet you.” Marinette began, but a polite smile from the older woman silenced the younger.

“You know, all these months I was wondering if I’d be able to thank you. And when I finally found out that you’d retired, I thought my chance was gone. I must be very lucky, that fate brought you to me like this.” Marinette felt the color drain from her face.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t think I-”

“It’s ok. I didn’t recognize you until the end. Without the mask and the pigtails.”

“I’m not-” Marinette tried desperately to get a word in, but this woman was unstoppable.

“Marinette, please be candid with me. One miraculous holder to another?” Marinette’s eyes went wide at the implications. But it all made sense. They’d found the peacock miraculous amongst Gabriel’s things during the trial. They assumed that Gabriel had used it before it broke, but this made so much more sense.

“Did the miraculous do this to you?”

“No. Gabriel did this to me.” Emilie said, a vague distance passing her expression. She took a minute, presumably to put that memory back in its place, then she addressed Marinette.

“I’m assuming Adrien doesn’t know, and don’t worry, I’m not going to tell him. I trust you, I know you have your reasons. Plus, you’re retired now so it’s in the past.” Marinette searched for a hint of sarcasm, but there was none. The woman was completely sincere.

“It’s not a part of my life I like to dwell on.” Marinette whispered, her cheeks flaming. Emilie pressed her cold hand against Marinette’s cheek.

“I know. And I don’t mean to bring up old scars. But I want to thank you. You saved me. And from what I’ve heard, you saved my son.” Marinette felt tears prick at her eyes, and when she looked up at Emilie, she was shocked to see that the blonde woman was tearing up as well. 

“What did my mom say?” Adrien asked when Marinette finally stepped outside.

“Hmm? She just wanted to thank me for being good to you.” Marinette was so dazed by the conversation, it took her a minute to process what her boyfriend had said.

“That’s embarrassing.” Adrien groaned, taking her hand.

“You lived with my parents for two weeks, you don’t get to say what embarrassing is like.” Marinette chided. Upon exiting the hospital, the two were showered with bright sunlight and a warm breeze. Summer was almost here, meaning exams were almost upon them.

“Your mom seemed really with it. Has she been getting better?” Marinette asked.

“My mom’s memory is still pretty weak. She writes everything anyone tells her down and studies it before they come to visit.” There was a sadness in his voice, and Marinette squeezed his hand tight.

“Why does she do that?” 

“I’ve told her she doesn’t have to, but I think she feels ashamed that she can’t remember things.” And Marinette’s heart fell as well. But how was Emilie able to recognize her? Shorn hair, maskless, a mere ghost of the superhero she used to be.


	14. Three Years Ago

It was easy enough to slip into the hospital as Ladybug. One of the perks of being Paris’ favorite superhero. And the halls were mostly empty this time of night, so she had the run of the place, taking her time to check each room. The sound of her footsteps echoed off the linoleum floors as she made her way through the place. She was glad Chat Noir was still taking time off. He wouldn’t have approved of what she was doing. Or maybe he would have. But her resolve was too strong to face his opinion.

And what was so bad about this anyway? She wasn’t doing it for Adrien. Ok, she was partially doing it for Adrien. But mostly she was doing it to prove Gabriel Agreste wrong. In his final testimony, he said that he didn’t have a choice. He never actually admitted to being Hawkmoth, but he said he “looked into alternative methods of healing” because he was desperate. He was desperate to bring his wife back. And this was the only way. And wouldn’t anyone in his position do the same?

Not Marinette.

She finally found the right room, and waded through the piles of bouquets and stuffed bears and get-well-soon gifts, until she saw the woman at the center of it all. The image of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White passed through Ladybug’s mind. But she wasn’t here to stare.

In a quiet voice, she called forth her power. And a small brass key fell into her hands. She didn’t want to feel disappointed. After all, it wasn’t like she was expecting a pill bottle labeled “magic anti-coma medicine” to come from her lucky charm. But maybe something more intuitive than a key. She stood by the open window, considering her key, letting the cool night air wash over her. A breeze rushed through and ruffled the comatose woman's hair. Ladybug stepped towards Emilie, and with a hesitant, gloved hand, pushed the hair back into place. She looked so much like Adrien. 

"I'll find a way to bring you back." Marinette avowed. "I promise."

“What do you mean you’re going to England?” Marinette stammered. It was as though the world around her had froze.

“Just for the summer!” He laughed, seeing her distress painted plain against her face. “Felix and Brigitte need to go home, and things are still a little too crazy for me to be alone here.”

“So you’ll come back after?” Marinette continued. She didn’t know if she could face life if Adrien wasn’t there.

“Chill girl.” Alya nudged Marinette in the shoulder. “I think that’s a great idea Adrien. It will be nice to get out of the spotlight for a bit.”

“Plus we’ll get to visit.” Nino beamed. As the others moved onto merrier topics, Marinette felt as though the rug had been pulled out from underneath her. She’d become so used to Adrien’s company. His warm smile, serving as a respite from her homework as they worked quietly together. His kind soul, reassuring her as she started to look at universities but was scared she wouldn’t get in. His mischievous eyes, glinting green as they stole biscuits from Felix’ secret stash. 

She knew it was only a few months, and she knew it was probably best for Adrien, but a little part of her couldn’t help but think: was I not enough? 

The sadness followed her to her lonely patrol that night. Plus, Fu hadn’t known anything about the key, so she couldn’t help but feel a little down. She swung over rooftops, thinking about what she was going to do that summer. She had Alya and Nino, and she’d promised she’d design outfits for Juleka’s brothers band so that would take some time, but there would be a giant Adrien-shaped hole in her life. 

The city was quiet that night, as it had been every night since Hawkmoth was put away. So after she’d checked in with the city police to see if they needed her aid, and swung through several neighborhoods, she settled down on a rooftop to sketch. Now that she didn’t have to spend her nights fighting a super villain, Marinette found she had so much time for her work. Her room was full of half-completed projects, to the point where her parents had to cut her fabric budget off. Her bluebell eyes scanned the city, looking for a shape or a pattern that caught her eye, but they found inspiration of a different sort. An old locksmith shop was tucked away in a courtyard nearby, one golden light shining through the darkened storefront. She felt for the key in her satchel, and swung down to the street.

“Hello? Are you still open?” She asked over the twinkle of the bell in the door. Brass and silver locks lined the walls, and rows of keys glinted in the dim lighting.

“For the savior of Paris? I’m always open.” The locksmith said from where he sat, hunched at a workstation.

“Do you know what kind of lock this key might open? I’m investigating something and this key was left at the scene.” It was a half truth, but it was mostly believable. She placed the key on the desk before him, and he pulled his spectacles up the bridge of his nose.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be able to say off the top of my head. Would you be willing to part with it? If you come by tomorrow night, I’ll be able to let you know.” Ladybug eyed the key on the table, thinking it over. It was the only lead she had, what if he lost it? But it was her only chance at knowing how to heal Emilie Agreste.

“I’ll come by tomorrow night. I really appreciate it.” She smiled, wishing the man a good night and returning to her spot on her rooftop.

“It’s a nice night.” She jumped at the voice, her sketchbook and pencil clattering to the tiles of the roof.

“Chat, you scared me half to death.” She wheezed, watching as the superhero appeared from the shadows. For someone who was normally so loud, his ability to be sneaky was always a surprise.

“Sorry Bugaboo.” He smiled, coming to sit next to her. She tucked the sketchbook away and drew her knees up between her satchel and her chest.

“It’s been a while. How are you?” The mood felt oddly formal between them. This month was the longest time they’d gone without seeing each other.

“I’ve been ok. Still adjusting. You?” He looked distant, and an odd feeling washed over Ladybug. He wasn’t here to make idle chatter. He came here with something to say.

“Pretty good. It’s quiet, I have more free time.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what to do with my time.” He tried to lighten the terseness between them, but Ladybug wasn’t here for his jokes.

“I see.” She nodded, waiting for it to be over with.

“So the reason I came out tonight…” Every muscle in her body went tense, as if preparing for a physical blow to land. “I’m going to be moving away for a while.”

“I see.” She repeated, her chest constricting. In her mind, she knew this is what he was here to say. The minute she saw him emerge from the shadows, his tousled golden hair shining pale in the darkness, she knew. But hearing it said out loud hurt more than she could have ever imagined.

“It’s just that, since Hawkmoth’s trial, I can’t-” 

“No, you don’t have to explain. It’s fine.” She cut him off, trying desperately to keep her voice from breaking. “Well, I should get home if that’s all you had to say. It’s been nice working with you.”

As she stood, Chat pounced to grab her wrist. Finally meeting his eyes, she was met with a storm of distress and devastation.

“Wait, I want to explain.” He began, but she yanked her hand away.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to hear it.” She snapped. “Goodnight.” With that, she turned on her heel, preparing to torpedo into the night, never to see him again.

“Ladybug, I’m not leaving forever, just for a little bit.” He protested, and there was such sadness in his voice that her resolve to leave him then and there faded.

“But what about me?” She yelled, unable to face him. Her words cut through the night, leaving a jagged tear behind. “What about me?” She repeated, quieter now.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think that I want to leave just for a little bit? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I want to spend my evenings doing something other than this?” She spun to face him, rage pulsing through her. 

“Then why don’t you?” To her surprise, Chat rose to her level. “We’ve defeated Hawkmoth, what more is there for us to do?”

Adrien’s words echoed through her mind. Paris will never not need Ladybug.

“Everything! We mean something to this city, Chat.”

“Correction, you mean something to this city. Paris will be fine without me.” He grumbled. Ladybug rolled her eyes, letting out a frustrated groan.

“You’re the only one who thinks that, you know. You’ve always had this chip on your shoulder and instituted some kind of hierarchy between us. I’ve never thought of you as anything less than my equal. Than my partner. But if you were really my partner, you wouldn’t have gone dark on me for a week right after Hawkmoth was captured, and then again for a full month. You would have cared about my feelings. You would have asked, once, how I was doing in all this. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“I do care about your feelings. Ladybug, I’ve loved you since we first met. Isn’t that clear to you?”

“You left me, Chat. And you’re leaving me again. Does that sound like love to you?” She hissed, letting the question live and die between them. She waited for Chat Noir to respond. To provide some paltry excuse for why he treated the woman he purported to love this way. But he didn’t answer. Ladybug pulled herself up, gathering her yoyo in her hands.

“You’re a real asshole Chat Noir.”


	15. Three Years Ago

Marinette spent the summer before her last year of high school split in two. 

As Marinette, she designed, she helped her parents in the bakery, she studied and wrote her university applications, sewed costumes for Juleka's brother's band, and she tried to take her mind off of Adrien. Which was hard, because, as Ladybug, she worked tirelessly to look for a way to bring Emilie Agreste out of her coma. So she thought of little else other than Adrien and his family’s history. But the search was tiresome and lonely. For each step she took, another one seemed to appear. And as the weeks wore on with little payoff, Ladybug couldn't help but think she'd been too harsh on Chat Noir. She didn't feel she was in the wrong, she knew everything she'd said to him was the truth. But she shouldn't have said it. After all, it wasn't Ladybug's job to complain and get angry, it was her job to protect Paris and its citizens. Which made solving the mystery of Emilie Agreste's illness her job.

The locksmith told her the key was used for lock boxes in the 90s, so she went to every train station in Paris to look for a lock box that would fit the description. Eventually, the key worked, revealing a series of letters and a map. Each letter, written by Emilie, appeared to have never been sent. In them, a younger version of the woman documented a hiking trip she and Gabriel took to find two mysterious artifacts rumored to grant magical abilities. 

“Gabriel's so convinced they're real. I don't think they are, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to get out of Paris for a while. The acting world can be a bit much.” She’d written in the first letter. 

But as the letters went on, Emilie's demeanor changed. She became more convinced of the artifact’s existence, more swayed by Gabriel's conviction. And then the letters just stopped. But the map showed the rest. It marked Emilie’s trail like an old fashioned pirates map, ending with a red circle at a monastery near the Verdon Gorge. It was clear to Ladybug that that's where she needed to go. Answers to this mystery lay within that red-penned circle. 

But while Ladybug had unfettered freedom and could go zipping off to remote monasteries, Marinette did not. She would have to build a rock solid case to her parents. So she put mystery solving aside, and worked hard to plan an air-tight reason to visit the monastery. While also working in the bakery, studying, writing applications, sewing costumes for Juleka's brother's band, and trying to take her mind off of Adrien. 

"What's all that?" Marinette jumped at the sound of the new voice. In her surprise, she knocked her mug of tea from the table, and it shattered on the floor at her feet. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She squealed. She was about to cross to the kitchen to grab paper towels, when a pair of hands held her in place.

"Don't get up, you'll hurt yourself." Marinette twisted in her seat, finally seeing who had startled her. The now familiar cool-blue gaze of Luka Couffaine fell upon her, and Marinette relaxed a bit.

"I'm so sorry." She blushed as he crossed the room and began to sweep up the shattered pottery. 

"It's my fault, I should have known better than to interrupt an artist at work." He smiled gently, and Marinette's blush went crimson.

"I'm not an artist." She sighed, feeling very useless as she sat on her chair and he cleaned up her mess. 

"Well that's not true. You're one of the most creative people I know. I'm so inspired by you, Marinette." For a moment, the dark haired girl felt something she hadn't felt since Adrien left: speechless, tongue-tied, completely and utterly incapable of forming a single coherent sentence. 

So rather than try, Marinette just said, in a small voice: "thanks, that means a lot."

"Let me make you another cup of tea." He smiled. 

"Oh, you don't have to do that." 

"I don't have to, but I want to." Marinette pretended to work while she covertly watched Luka prepare her tea. He made music as he went. Drumming on the counter, humming to himself, nodding to music he was playing in his mind. 

"What are you working on?" He asked, bringing two cups of tea to the table. 

"Oh, I'm just finishing up the pants, then I'll be moving onto the jacket." She explained. 

"No, not that. The travel books." He nodded towards the open books Marinette had shoved off to the side.

"Oh. I want to go on a hiking trip by myself at the end of the summer, but I need to give a good reason to my parents." 

"What's the real reason you want to go?" 

"I think I need to get out of the city for a while. This past year was kind of hard, and I think it would be nice to step back and reflect." Marinette was surprised that the lie came so easily to her. And then she was surprised once again when she found that she wasn't lying. Of course she needed to go to the monastery to see what had brought Emilie and Gabriel there. But she genuinely did want to get out of Paris. The city was haunted by thoughts of Chat Noir. She just needed to be rid of it all for a while. 

"I would be honest with your parents. You've clearly done all the work preparing, and I think they'll respect that." He said, after contemplating for a moment. 

"Thanks Luka. That's really good advice." Marinette smiled, and it was a real smile. 

"I'll let you get back to your work." Luka stretched out, bringing his empty cup back to the sink. He paused at the stairs, sending a glance over his shoulder. "By the way, if you ever need to talk, I'm here to listen." 

Luka was right. After explaining how stressful the trial had been, Marinette's parents gave her a somewhat reluctant green light. She made plans to leave in early August, spending time gathering all the materials she’d need for the hike. And finally, she said goodbye to her parents and to Alya and Nino, and let the train carry her away from the city. 

The hike proved cathartic for Marinette. Being in the clean air, not having to worry about being Ladybug, she was able to let some of the weight off her shoulders. And with Tikki by her side, Marinette found herself able to laugh and smile in a way she hadn’t ever since Chat and Adrien left. 

She pushed herself to climb, literally, to new heights, waking up each morning feeling sore, but ready to attack the next day’s climb. 

At the top of it all was a tiny Monastery that welcomed Marinette with open arms. Everyone remembered the couple who came a decade ago, seeking the miraculous. Emilie and Gabriel had spent a month living with them before they deemed them worthy of the peacock and butterfly miraculous, believing they’d finally found the right people to keep it safe. 

They were saddened to hear that they’d been wrong.

On the second day of Marinette sleeping in a drafty room on an uncomfortable bed, they showed her their library. A whole section was dedicated to the peacock miraculous, detailing how to use it, and any alchemical properties it might possess. There was nothing on how to fix one, except for a small scroll, unlike any other they had there, written in a language Marinette couldn’t decipher.

“Tikki, do you know what this says?” She said, squinting at the foreign symbols. She’d been up all night, trying to match it to some written ancient language, working under a dim desk lamp in the monastery. The little sprite yawned, rubbing her big bug eyes, before flitting down to look at it.

“Oh.” Tikki said, her little voice breaking for a minute.

“You do?” Marinette gasped, excited.

“No, sorry Marinette. It looks familiar, maybe something from centuries ago. I’ve been around for a long time, Marinette.” Marinette sighed, collapsing back against the wooden chair.

“Sorry.” Tikki added in a quiet voice.

“It’s ok Tikki. I just wish I could do something more.” The dark-haired girl nuzzled her kwami, putting on a smile. But she felt exhausted. 

It was back to Paris, then. 

Marinette arrived back in late August, stepping off the train feeling grimy and smelly and ready for a shower. What she was not ready for was the sight of all of her classmates standing in her living room when she finally pushed through the door. 

“Welcome home girl!” Alya squealed, throwing herself onto Marinette. After speaking to only Tikki and monks for the last two weeks, it took a minute for her words to come back to her.

“I can’t believe everyone’s here. I haven’t had a chance to shower.”

After setting her bag down, Marinette was forced to regale the group with tales of her hike. And while she was so happy to see all her friends, she kept thinking about the scroll tucked away in her bag.


	16. Present

Alya didn’t say anything about Marinette’s haircut. Well, she said it looked nice. But mostly she just looked distraught. Marinette wanted to say something to prevent Alya from guilt-spiraling before her very eyes. But what could she say without letting Alya know that Marinette knew?

“Did you do it because of the akuma?” Luckily, Nino stepped in.

“You know, a little bit. But mostly I just wanted to change it up. The long hair made me look too young.” It was honestly the truth. She’d been thinking about cutting her hair for a while. Obviously without the akuma she would have settled for something less drastic. But she liked her new boyish haircut. 

“Really?” Alya looked as though a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 

“Yeah. Plus everyone in the fashion scene is leaning into the androgynous look.” She ran her hand back through the choppy locks. And that was the end of the discussion.

Chloe, on the other hand, had much to say on the topic.

“Where do you get off!” Students practically flung themselves out of her way as she stormed into the studio. 

“I’m gonna need some clarification.” Marinette sighed, not looking up from her work.  
.   
“Cutting your hair without consulting me first!” Chloe gasped, as if it needed no explanation.

“Chloe. I’m a grown woman. I don’t think I need to ask for your permission if I want to cut my hair.” Marinette was no stranger to Chloe’s tempestuous moods.

“You still haven’t learned. You need my permission for any aesthetic change. Marinette, now that you’re working in the world of fashion, you’re not just a person, you’re a brand. And as an aspiring brand manager, I think you’d do well to listen to me.” Chloe declared. Marinette rolled her eyes, finally setting her work down.

“So are you saying it looks bad?” Chloe seemed caught off guard by Marinette’s question.

“No, it looks chic as hell. What I’m saying is, I wished you’d told me.” It took the dark-haired girl a moment, but she finally understood.

“Why don’t we go get coffee.”

Marinette and Chloe had found a coffee shop they liked in their first year of college. Since then, they essentially kept the place in business. They liked that it was close enough to campus so they could duck out between classes, but far enough away that none of the other students bothered to go there. The smell of warm pastry and ground coffee welcomed them every time. Today was particularly busy, and a din of chatter and cafe music gave them some privacy in their corner table.

“I don’t do this often, so do treasure it, but I’m sorry.” Chloe said it quietly, hiding her mouth behind her coffee cup.

“What do you have to apologize for?” Marinette blinked.

“I was the reason he was akumatized. Had I been nicer, maybe…”

“Woah, stop right there.” Marinette held her hand out, silencing Chloe. “It’s not even remotely your fault. You stood up for what was right. Getting angry and getting akumatized was on him.”

“But he chased you through the entire city.” Chloe insisted. 

“As if I’m not used to being chased through the city.” Marinette scoffed.

“But this was different. It was just you. You could have gotten seriously hurt.” 

Marinette was quiet as she weighed her options in her mind. Finally, she spoke.

“That’s not entirely right. It wasn’t just me.” Chloe’s brows furrowed for a moment, before shooting back up as the penny dropped.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I cannot believe-”

“Shush!” Marinette hissed, as the blonde’s outburst attracted some unwanted attention.

“I cannot believe you’d do this again.” Chloe said again, in a fervent whisper. “What happened to “quitting forever”?”

“I don’t know.” Marinette sunk down into her chair. “Ladybird showed up a few months ago-”

“A few months!” Chloe said, her voice rising again. Marinette gave her a harsh glare.

“Are you going to let me talk?” Marinette raised a brow, waiting for her bossy friend to settle down. “Like I was saying. I didn’t have any intention of getting back in the game. Ladybird showed up a few months ago and she needed help. I just felt so bad saying no. I saddled her with the miraculous, the least I could do was help her out. And I thought it was a one-time thing, but she kept coming back.”

“I knew there was something familiar about Ruse Rouge. Does Adrien know?”

“No!” Now Marinette’s voice raised above the din. The barista gave the girls a glare, and Marinette quickly bowed her head. “Obviously not. You’re the only one I’ve told.”

“Good. Because if you told him before you told me, I would lose my damn mind.” Chloe was silent for a moment, and Marinette let her process this information.

“What is it like being with Chat Noir again?” It had taken Marinette a while to be honest with Chloe about Chat Noir. It had taken Marinette a while to be honest with herself about Chat Noir.

“Ugh. It was awful. He hated me as Ruse Rouge. He said I reminded him of Ladybug, made him feel like he hadn’t gotten over her.”

“I don’t care what it was like for him. He has so much emotional baggage, this was never not going to be traumatic for him. But what about you?”

“What do you mean for me?”

“Marinette, you were in love with him. And you were fighting crime alongside him. Didn’t that bring up some feelings?”

“I was never in love with him.” Marinette felt all the blood rush to her face. “I was attracted to him, yes. And he was one of my closest friends. But I wasn’t in love with him.” In true Chloe fashion, she rolled her eyes with as much dramatic flare as possible.

“Speaking as the leading expert on being sexually repressed and secretly in love with your best friend, I can say with certainty that you’re describing love.”

“I disagree. Even though I was attracted to him, and he was my best friend, he drove me crazy. There’s no way it would have worked out between us. Plus, I don’t even know who he really is. Chat Noir and Ladybug are just masks.”

“But back to my question, how are you doing in the wake of all that sexy, sweaty crime fighting?”

“Confused. I love Adrien. I’m sure of it. There’s no one I’d rather be with. But my heart my was pounding the entire time I was with Chat Noir. It was hard not to get swept up in it all. I just wanted to…”

“Wanted to what Marinette? This is a safe space.” Chloe’s blue eyes glinted with mischief. She was so nosy.

“Make out with his stupid face.” Now every part of Marinette was on fire. Chloe burst out laughing, but not in a mean way. That mean and defensive side of Chloe was mostly gone. But the chaotic side that truly lived for drama was still alive and well, and cackled with glee at the sight of Marinette’s confusion.

“Oh, my sweet Marinette. Even your shameful fantasies are so pure.”

“Pure? It’s terrible that I’m thinking that. I should break up with Adrien right? I don’t get to be with him if I’m still thinking about another man.” Marinette slumped down, hiding her burning cheeks in her palms.

“What? Absolutely not. Everyone’s allowed to have fantasies.” She shrugged.

“You’ll have to get a wig the next time you go out as Ruse Rouge. The haircut will be a dead giveaway.” It took Marinette a moment to process that Chloe was speaking. Her mind was caught in other things. Things that wore masks and leather.

“Oh, that’s not a worry. I’m not doing it anymore. I told Ladybird not to give me the miraculous.” Marinette shrugged.

“That’s probably for the best. As your brand manager, I’m advising you not to get killed while wearing a spandex suit.” It was funny how Chloe used the term “brand manager” instead of friend.


	17. Two Years Ago

Marinette’s senior year started, and things fell back into place. Rather than spending her entire day thinking about how to undo an ancient curse, she only spent half of her day thinking about how to undo an ancient curse. Which was fairly normal for Marinette. The other half of the day was spent preparing her portfolio for her university applications, studying, and pretending that the superhero half didn’t exist.

Adrien came back, and he and Alya and Nino and Marinette all fell back into their usual routine. But now, they all met at Adrien’s flat. If Marinette wasn’t in love with him before, she certainly was now. He’d matured so much while he was in London. His hair was longer, he was taller, his muscles (not that she was looking) had become lean and toned. Plus he could cook now. As the daughter of two bakers, the sight of this beautiful boy whipping up crepes like it was nothing made Marinette weak in the knees.

But the testament to his maturity was the fact that he had his own flat. Ok, it was technically Bridgette's flat. But it looked like his. Full of video games and fencing gear and a piano and all the things that made Adrien, Adrien. Or so she thought.

“Did you do much fencing in England?” Marinette asked, perusing through his gear. Alya and Nino had to finish up a project, so it was just Marinette and Adrien in the flat. Marinette was trying not to focus on that. She noticed that while his epees were displayed with care in a glass case, all the medals had been shoved unceremoniously in a box.

“No, not really. I’ve been trying out some new hobbies.” He said. 

“Like cooking?” Marinette looked over her shoulder at him. And tried not to swoon as he diced onions. His knife skills were excellent.

“Yeah! I’ve also tried out painting, and writing, and learning Japanese.” He listed, looking up briefly from his work.

“Wow, that’s a lot.” Marinette came to join him in the small kitchen, picking up a knife herself to help out.

“Yeah, I know. This the first time I’ve ever been able to choose my own extracurriculars. I might have gone a bit overboard, but I want to try everything to see what’s really me. The way fashion and design is you, you know?” Marinette mulled this over. Her parents had never forced her into an activity. Helping at the bakery, video games, design, they were all things she’d found on her own.

“I’m sure there’s something out there for you! I could even teach you a little design if you want to try that out.” Marinette joked, but when she caught the look on Adrien’s face, she realized she might have gotten more than she bargained for.

“You’d do that?”

“What? Of course!” Yes, she could physically teach Adrien to sew. But could she mentally handle the sight of him sewing? No. If he learned how to sew, that would be the end of everything. She’d have no choice but to propose.

“Sorry we’re late!” Alya and Nino’s arrival saved Marinette from herself.

“But look what my sister gave me.” To her surprise, Alya produced a six pack of beer from her backpack, giving the group a little devilish wiggle. Marinette knew kids had started drinking over the summer. Marinette herself had partaken a few times. But alcohol plus Adrien would equal disaster. So Marinette told herself that she’d only have half of one, and then she’d throw the rest away. But as the group ate and chatted, her initial goal completely slipped her mind. And then she found that her can was empty. And then Adrien asked if he could grab her another one, and she couldn’t say no because Adrien was so thoughtful. And then the same thing happened with that beer, and suddenly Marinette was drunk because she was tiny and had shit tolerance and who let this happen?

As they played a board game Adrien had bought in England, Marinette found herself feeling sleepy and thinking that Adrien’s shoulder would be a very fine place to rest her head. Let tomorrow Marinette freak out about it. And as she rested her head against Adrien’s hoodie-clad shoulder, she was pleasantly surprised to find that he let her keep it there.

Ladybug was totally sober. She was fine. It didn’t matter that she nearly slipped off a roof, or swung a little too far and nearly burst into someone’s apartment through their window. She was fine. But there wasn’t anything to do, and not-moving seemed really good right about now. So Ladybug perched herself on someone’s roof deck, cuddling up on a sun chair. She closed her eyes, feeling a pleasant darkness wash over her.  
She heard a thud on the roof, and the familiar jingling of a bell.

“Is this what you’ve been doing while I was gone?” There was his purring voice.

“You leave the city for three months and then criticize me on my work ethic?” She said, still not opening her eyes. 

“You’re still mad?” His voice sounded morose, and Ladybug decided that she should give him a break. Ladybug felt a weight settle by her feet, and cracked one eye open. Chat was faced away from her, the musculature under his suit catching the moonlight in a very pleasing way. Had that always been there?

“Sort of, but I don’t want to fight about it right now. How was your summer?” She drew herself to a sitting position, ignoring the way the world took a little too long to catch up with her.

“It was ok.” He finally turned to look at her, and his eyes seemed sad. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. But I did enjoy getting some peace and quiet.” It was true. The part about missing Chat. The other part was true, but to a lesser extent. Peace and quiet got real boring, real fast.

“I’m sorry I left. It wasn’t fair of me.” Chat said. Ladybug sighed, drawing herself forward. She wrapped her arms around Chat’s waist and squeezed, tucking her head in the valley where his neck and shoulder met.

“Sorry I called you an asshole. That was rude of me.” She whispered, feeling the shiver go up his spine. Chat returned the embrace enthusiastically, and as he did, she felt his cool cheek against her neck. Now it was her turn to shiver. They stayed like that for a moment, letting the wounds that had formed between them begin to close. Ladybug was the first to pull away, as she always was.

“Your hair looks nice.” He said, bringing a clawed finger up to brush some behind her ear. “It’s longer.” Ladybug flushed, from the alcohol and the cold and definitely nothing else.

“Thanks. I’m growing it out.” She swung her legs over the lounge chair, coming to sit parallel to her partner, moving just out of the way of his touch.

“So how was everything? Paris still in tact?”

“Very much so. No Hawkmoth, no supernatural crimes to be fought. Just good old regular crimes.” She didn’t tell him about her side mission. He didn’t need to know.

“That’s a relief. I don’t think I’d remember how to fight an akuma. I’ve gotten fat.” For extra measure, he placed his hands on his stomach, as if to demonstrate all the extra weight. But there was none. His abs were flat as a washboard.

“That’s bullshit.” Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“Swearing, are we? You’ve got devious side now, haven’t you?” He grinned his cheshire cat grin, and it was good to know that some things didn’t change.

“Well someone had to be the miscreant in your absence.”


	18. Two Years Ago

Marinette wasn’t sure when her sexual attraction to Chat Noir began. Maybe sometime in the winter of her senior year. She just knew that she went from finding her partner endearingly annoying, to violently attractive.

Ladybug began to catch herself staring at his lips when he spoke, or at his chest as he stretched out. She was awful.

This realization, though it wasn’t so much of a realization as a sinking feeling, put Marinette in a tough spot.

Marinette had finally resigned herself to the truth, that Adrien didn’t see her that way. She was content to just be his friend. And while she knew that if Ladybug made a pass at Chat Noir, he’d jump at the opportunity. But that would be cruel, knowing that he felt so much more for her than she did for him. She cared about him, but not like that.  
Damn her stupid kindness.

So as she tried to solve the mystery of Emilie Agreste’s coma, and also wait for college decisions to come back, she was also trying to cope with the fact that she was emotionally and sexually repressed.

Thank God for Luka.

“Hi Luka, sorry I’m late.” Marinette called down into the cabin of the houseboat. They’d fallen into a routine of working together since the summer, so she no longer expected him to greet her when she came over. She’d settle into her work, easily finding flow in the warm bath of his gentle guitar. And eventually he’d come up to chat. But today was different. No sooner than had Marinette set her things out at her makeshift work station did Luka appear in the doorway.

“Oh, hey!” She grinned, pulling out two mugs from the cupboard. “What are you feeling today?”

“Ginger and honey?” Marinette nodded, going about prepping the tea. She’d been here so frequently over the summer that she knew where everything was in the kitchen. As she worked, she felt Luka’s gaze tracking her movements. But that was kind of normal with him. Luka had a unique ability to see through social niceties and sense someone’s true emotions. He didn’t speak often, but listened to Marinette blab like every word was golden. But today was different, and when she looked back over at him, there was an intensity in his gaze.

“Everything ok?” She smiled.

“Yeah, sorry.” Was it just her, or was he blushing?

“I dunno. Something seems strange. Are you feeling well?” She crossed the threshold of the room, tip-toeing up to place her hand on his forehead. His blue and black hair was soft on her hand, softer than she’d expected it to be.

“Marinette, I’m feeling fine. I just…” He took her hand from his forehead, and held it with both of his. “I’m better with music than I am with words.” He said, lacing his fingers through hers. “I think you’re wonderful, Marinette. I think you’re smart, and funny, and talented, and passionate, and I’m rambling but you get the point.”

“Would you like to go out with me? On a real date? Not in the boat?” The last word was barely out of his mouth before Marinette stretched up, leaving a gentle kiss on his lips.  
Maybe Marinette should have taken some time to think this over. After all, this was one of the first times she’d actually considered him. But the notion felt comfortable. She could see herself happy with him. And wasn’t it so nice to have someone interested in her for her? And not because she was a superhero? Didn’t she deserve some happiness?

“I’d love to.” 

Time rolled on, and Marinette found herself satisfied. Dating Luka was easy. When she was with him, she was able to leave her emotional baggage and secret identities at the door. She could just be Marinette.

“I don’t want you to freak out.” Alya caught Marinette as she passed the threshold to their high school. “But Lila is here, back on her bullshit.”

“Seriously? We haven’t seen her in like seven months.” Marinette’s eyes went wide. How did the school even allow her to drop in like this? Oh, right, the girl was a pathological liar.

“I know. She said she’s been building houses in Africa. She won’t say where in Africa.” Alya grumbled. After all this time, Nino and Alya were the only ones who actually believed Marinette when she said that Lila was crazy. So whenever the girl reared her head, the three of them tended to play hooky, or keep to themselves. Anything to not poke the bear.  
But today would be hard, as Marinette entered the classroom to find Lila sitting right next to Adrien. Which meant Nino was sitting where Marinette normally sat, which meant Marinette had to sit in the back of the classroom.

“Marinette, Sabrina’s not here this week, so why don’t you take her seat?” Madame Bustier said, gesturing to the empty seat besides Chloe. Great.

Marinette slumped into her seat, trying to put as much distance between herself and Chloe as possible.

“I’m not happy about this either, you know.” Chloe snarked, her voice hidden under the din of the classroom as they broke into partner work. “If little miss psycho didn’t think she could show up whenever she pleased, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.”

Chloe had also changed over summer break. To the extent that Chloe was capable of change. While she still was prideful and haughty, her cruelty had diminished. She exchanged harsh words and jokes for a withering glare that could silence anyone. She didn’t feel like the mean girl Marinette was so used to, who needed every little thing to be about her. She was just cold and aloof, with everyone except Sabrina.

“I don’t understand how she’s able to stay in this school when she travels so much.” Marinette grumbled back.

“Oh, she’s not traveling.” Chloe snorted.

“What?” Marinette Looked over at Lila, who was practically sitting on Adrien’s lap as she reached over to look at his work.

“Sabrina saw Lila in Paris last week shopping for groceries. Plus she says she’s been in Africa for several months building houses, but look at how pale she is. Girl either has some incredible sunscreen, or she’s lying.” Chloe shrugged, and busied herself with examining her nails.

It was the first conversation Chloe and Marinette ever had without yelling at each other.

When Marinette finally emerged from school at the end of her last class, she was surprised to find Luka standing outside, leaning against his bike. Talking to Lila.

“Hey, Luka. I didn’t know you knew Lila.” Marinette said, trying not to grit her teeth through her forced smile.

“Oh, I don’t. She was just telling me that her great great grandfather helped design the first Gibson guitar. Apparently her family has one of the first prototypes in their house. Isn’t that an interesting fact, Marinette?” Luka was kind, and compassionate, and forgiving. But he wasn’t gullible. And his pleasant smile told Marinette that he didn’t believe Lila for a minute.

“That is interesting.” Marinette drawled, snaking an arm around Luka. “Do you want to get going?”

“I would love to. Well, it was nice to meet you.” He offered a polite wave to Lila, who’s grin was rapidly falling flat on her lips. Marinette wrapped her arms tight around Luka on his bike, trying not to laugh as they sped off. 

Marinette thought that would be the end of Lila. Normally the brunette only showed up once to make everyone’s life a living hell, and then she’d retreat back into some lie about charity work or exciting diplomatic adventures. But to Marinette’s surprise, Lila was in Nino’s seat again the next day. So the dark haired girl groaned inwardly, slouching towards the seat next to Chloe.

“Is Sabrina still out?” Chloe shrugged, but moved her things.

“So,” Marinette was startled from her work by an obnoxious drawl. “Are you and Luka like a thing?” She looked up, seeing Lila smiling oh-so-sweetly above her.

“Yeah. What of it?” Marinette didn’t have time for Lila. She didn’t like to think of herself as a mean person. But Lila drove her up the wall.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that he seemed really interested in coming over to see my guitar. But I guess that’s nice of you to be so trusting. I could never trust my boyfriend if he was going over to girls’ houses.” Marinette clenched her fist under the desk, trying to find some reason not to punch the girl in the face.

“Well, that’s obviously bullshit.” Both girls jumped at the sound of the new voice. Chloe had taken her headphones out as Lila was speaking, staring the brunette down with her new patented glare.

“Don’t you something better to be doing than bothering Marinette with your senseless drabble?”

“I was just making polite conversation Chloe.” Lila scoffed, speaking loudly to draw the attention of the rest of the room.

“I highly doubt that insinuating that Marinette’s boyfriend would be unfaithful is considered polite conversation. Now be gone.” Things were quiet for a moment, before Lila turned on her heel and ran from the room.

“Chloe, that was kind of mean.” Adrien said, exasperated. Chloe leaned forward, looking beyond a paralyzed Marinette. 

“Are you trying to say that Lila should have gone after Marinette’s boyfriend, Agreste?” 

“N-no,” Adrien stammered. “I just think that there was a nicer way to tell her to stop.”

“Since when have I ever been nice Adrien.” The entire room was dead silent, blanketed in a thick fog of awkwardness. It was like watching two parents argue. Madame Bustier saved them all by walking into the classroom, pausing momentarily as the palpable irritation hit her. 

After class, Marinette waited for a moment before gathering her things.

“I thought what you did was nice.” She said in a whisper. Chloe blinked, taken aback by the statement. And then the blonde blushed.

“I didn’t do it for you. I just can’t stand that girl thinking she can get whatever she wants.

“Lila is awful.” Marinette grumbled, and Chloe nodded fervently. Thus, a tenuous, and very unlikely alliance was born. Lila kept coming to school, and when everyone else was fawning over her, Chloe and Marinette would share a knowing grimace. Maybe Chloe really was capable of change.


	19. Present

Marinette woke slowly, roused to consciousness by the movement next to her. With her eyes still closed, she rolled over, pressing her forehead against Adrien’s bare chest. He snaked his arms around her and pulled her closer, so her nose filled with the scent of him. Instinctively, she returned the embrace, trying to get even closer, and traced circles and figure eights on his back.

“Mmm, that feels nice.” He purred, his voice heady with sleep. They’d planned to watch a movie. But the minute Marinette settled down in the blonde’s arms, she fell asleep, lulled by the beating of his heart.

“What do you want to do today?” He asked, pressing kisses against her forehead.

“Nothing. Just this.” She hummed, snuggling even closer.

“I’m ok with that.” He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest and into hers. But fate had other plans. A high-pitched screeching interrupted their quiet embrace, as the city’s emergency bell began to wail in the streets. Marinette sat up, her mind racing as she tried to think of excuses to get herself to a place where she could transform, but then it hit her. She didn’t need to transform, because she’d given up the miraculous. Again. 

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, but a not-so-small part of her had delighted in being a miraculous holder again. It had filled these last few months with spontaneity and excitement. And of course it was stressful and time consuming and physically and mentally exhausting. But it gave her meaning. But that was all gone, again, and Marinette knew it was for the best.

She’d been down that road before, and she knew where it led.

She lay back down, rolling over to find Adrien’s form, to sink back into the halo of his warmth and let the war rage on outside. But he wasn’t there.

“Are you heading out?” Marinette sat up to find him pulling a shirt over his head, his pants already on.

“One of the nurses texted, my mom needs help. I’m so sorry.” He apologized, striding back to the bed and scooping Marinette up in a kiss.

“It’s ok.” Marinette smiled, trying not to feel bad. “I should probably get to the studio anyway.”

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Marinette had a slow morning. She gave herself ample time to dress and emerge from Adrien’s room. She was surprised to find Nino sitting in the living room, staring mindlessly at the TV and slowly sipping a coffee.

“Late night show?” She asked, making a bowl of cereal, and bringing it over to the couch.

“Yeah. I gotta get to work soon. But coffee first.” His eyes were bloodshot, and framed by dark circles. 

It made her think of something Alya had said recently. Nino’s career as a DJ was blowing up, but between that and his day job at the radio, and being on a superhero team, he was overworked.

Papillette had been more vicious recently, sending out akumas at least once a day. These champions seemed stronger, and harder to defeat.

Nino flipped channels, and saw footage of the fight playing out. Instinctively, Nino’s hand flew to the bracelet around his wrist. Marinette’s heart broke just a little.

“You know, there’s no shame in quitting something that’s hurting you more than it’s helping others.” She said, and then quickly added: “Like your radio job.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s time to accept that.” Nino sighed, sending her a sad smile. "Quitting my radio job."

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” She patted his shoulder, and left before the guilt she was starting to feel overcame her.

She did this to Alya, and to Nino. At the time, she truly believed they were the best person for the job. And they were. Ladybird and Carapace were amazing superheroes, with a clear dedication to protecting the city. But they were also her friends. She’d saddled them both with a life-altering secret and crushing sense of responsibility. And then she’d left. 

Marinette spent her day in the studio, punishing herself over homework while the battle raged on outside. Eventually, a rush of pink light flashed behind her, signaling that all was well, once again. Ladybird had washed away the pain and destruction of the day’s events. But Marinette continued to work, hunched over the dress she was making.

The shadows grew longer as night fell, and Marinette stopped working for just a minute to turn a lamp on and illuminate her work. Normally sewing was a way for Marinette to leave her mind. She could focus on nothing but the hum of the machine and the rhythmic bounce of the needle. But today, she found she couldn’t leave her mind. An idea was percolating in the pit of her mind. Some dark and ominous notion urging her towards action. She tried to force it down. 

Night had fallen by the time Marinette emerged from her work. She stepped out onto the night, feeling bleary-eyed and distant.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go for them. They weren’t meant to be in their twenties and worrying about the fate of the city. They were supposed to be out partying every night, perpetually hungover. You know, doing things that college kids were supposed to do.

“You’re out late, Princess.” A smug voice startled Marinette from her reverie. She followed the sound of the voice, and was surprised to see Chat Noir swinging by his legs from a lamp post. His golden hair toppled from his forehead and cascaded into the night air.

“Oh, it’s just you.” Marinette sighed. Chat swung himself forward, landing before Marinette soundlessly.

“Just me?” He pouted, mocking offense.

“Oh, sorry. I’m just a little tired. Long day of working.” She sighed, rubbing her eyes. “But what am I saying? You just spent hours fighting an akuma. I was just sitting on my ass.”

“May I walk you home, Princess?” He said, bowing deeply before her. He was always like this. So chivalrous, so dramatic.

“You may.” Marinette humored him, curtsying and setting her hand in his. Before she knew what had happened, he’d pulled her close, and rocketed upwards, using his staff as a pole vault. They flew high up, and glided down onto one of the nearby rooftops.

“Paris is always so beautiful this time of night.” Marinette sighed, taking a moment to admire the scenery.

“I never get sick of it.” He smiled. “But there are far more beautiful things out tonight.” Marinette’s face went crimson.

“What? I mean, thank you- I mean, I am very flattered but I have a boyfriend.” She said, trying to cool down her cheeks with her cold fingers.

“I see. So the princess has found someone. Is he a prince or a frog?” Chat Noir grinned.

“He’s very princely.” Marinette grinned.

Chat Noir’s grin doubled. “I see. Well, if he ever turns into a frog, I’ll be waiting.” He pulled her close, and they flew off to the next building, and the one after that.

“You are an incorrigible flirt, Chat Noir.” She snorted, laughing despite own sense of propriety.

“Can’t blame a cat for trying.” He winked.

“I’m afraid you won’t have much luck with me.” Marinette smiled. They touched down on her balcony. She thought of Adrien, and a smile rose to her lips.

“You really like him, huh.” Chat cocked his head, his tousled locks falling across his mask.

“I love him so much.” She grinned.

“And have you told him that?” He sat on the balcony railing, his legs dangling in open air, and she came to stand by him. They looked out at the glimmering city, and Marinette tried not to think of how comfortable she felt sitting next to him.

“I haven’t.”

“Why not?” There was something easy about Chat Noir’s presence. He made it easy to confide in him. Marinette had felt that as Ladybug, but she never let herself indulge. But now she was just Marinette. She could do whatever she wanted.

“I’ve spent so long thinking about him secretly, and assuming my love would never be requited. Sometimes it still feels like it won’t be. How do you take that risk?”

Chat noir’s eyes went wide, surprised that she’s asked him for advice.

“I spend my days fighting actual monsters, you’d think love would be nothing. But when it comes to the topic, I’m a coward.”

“I’ll tell him if you tell her.” Marinette extended her hand to him, a sudden wave of courage striking her.

“Deal.” He grinned, his canines glinting. He gripped her hand, giving her two sturdy shakes. And then he readied his staff, and swung out into the night.

Marinette watched him until he was merely a black speck on the rooftops.

Only then did she realize that she was on her balcony, and she never told him where she lived. She hadn't seen Chat Noir in ages, except for their run-in at the university. How had he remembered where she lived?


	20. Two Years Ago

Chat Noir flew back, crashing into the nearby tree. He grappled for purchase on the bark, his claws digging into the wood, before launching himself back. Ladybug swiftly dodged her partner’s attack, whipping her yoyo towards him to try to wrap it around his legs. But the cat rolled away from the wire’s grip, charging back at her with a fist raised. Ladybug waited until he was close enough to see the fire and fury glinting in his wide green eyes. And then she side-stepped him again, grabbing his wrist as he passed. She deftly twisted it behind him, and sent him hurtling towards the ground with his arm pinned behind his back. At the last minute, she readjusted her grip so she held him by the tail in one hand, and by the collar in the other. In her vice grip, he hovered an inch above the ground.

“I win.” She smirked, before letting him fall the rest of the way. He hit the ground with a dull thud, letting out an “oof”. For a moment he was still, and Ladybug wondered if she’d been too hard on him. But then he rolled over onto his back with a groan.

“Best three out of five?” He smiled.

“I don’t think you want to do that.” She laughed, sitting next to him. She flopped onto her back, staring up at the trees around them. They’d found a nice private spot to spar in the Bois de Boulogne, and had been at it for an hour, at least.

“How’d you get so deadly, my lady?” He asked, rolling onto his side.

“I’ve always been this deadly.” She said with a wink. “And you’ve lost your touch, kitty.”

“I have not.” He huffed, his face getting red. Ladybug laughed.

“You’re cute when you’re angry, you know that?” She said, and then froze. Suddenly she was aware of how intensely Chat Noir was staring at her with those green eyes. Quickly, she sat up, tearing her gaze away from him.

“I need to go, but you need to train more.” She coughed, standing and brushing the dirt off of her. She couldn’t believe she’d said that out loud. She couldn’t believe she’d even been thinking that in the first place. She tore her thoughts back to Luka, thinking of how wonderful he was to her. How he’d been there when Chat and Adrien had left. How she was certain she’d never find anyone as caring as him.

“O-ok.” He stammered. “I guess I’ll see you. Same place, same time?”

“Yeah.” She said, not looking at him. “See you later, Chat.” 

Shit. Shit. Shit. What was wrong with her? Why did she always say something ridiculous to Chat every time they were together now? Had he changed since getting back from wherever he’d been? Or was it her?

Ladybug found a cloistered ring of trees to de-transform. She joined the stream of civilians taking their leisurely Saturday afternoon strolls through the park. Marinette sighed deeply, hoping that a long walk and some fresh air would clear her head of Chat Noir.

Somewhere in her musings, she happened to look up and see a familiar blonde ponytail bobbing back and forth by the lake.

“Chloe?” Marinette stopped, watching the posh girl stomp in circles.

“Huh?” Chloe jumped, pulled from her thoughts. “Oh, it’s you.”

Marinette and Chloe’s relationship had cooled from the volatile, explosive compound to something not quite friendly, but definitely less incendiary. Still, Marinette was surprised by herself that she stopped to talk to Chloe.

“Are you ok?” She asked.

“Is it any of your business?” Chloe snarked. Marinette shrugged, as if to say “I guess not,” and turned to carry on her way.

“Wait.” The bratty girl said, jogging to catch up with Marinette. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Force of habit?” Marinette raised a brow.

“I guess so. I just…” She paused, clearly trying to overcome some internal barrier. “I need your help with something.”

“Ok?” Marinette tried not to balk.

“So you had this, like, big unrequited crush on Adrien, right?”

“How did you-” Marinette stammered, feeling a flush creep over her face. Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Please, it was incredibly obvious. I’m still not even convinced you’re over him, but let’s pretend you are. How did that happen?”

“How did I get over Adrien?” She repeated, still trying to process the fact that Chloe had even asked for her help.

“Yes.”

“Are you trying to get over Adrien?” At this, Chloe laughed derisively.

“Having a crush on Adrien Agreste is an exercise in futility, so I ditched that a year ago. This is… someone else.” Chloe grew quiet, and it seemed from Marinette’s perspective that she shrunk entirely. 

“Is it not an option to tell them you like them?”

“No, it’s not. I know for a fact they don’t feel the same way.”

“Well how did you get over Adrien? Maybe try doing the same thing?” Chloe snorted at this, but didn’t feel it merited an actual response.

“My methods aren’t working, why else would I ask you?” Marinette’s temper flared at the girl’s bratty tone.

“Listen, I pined over Adrien for years and years, and he had to physically leave the country for me to find someone else.”

“And now that he’s back?” Chloe raised an eyebrow.

“I like Luka.” Marinette shrugged, not allowing her mind, or Chloe, to dig any further into the topic.

“Leaving the country isn’t a bad idea.” Chloe mused, her sharp eyes narrowing as she thought. Marinette, meanwhile, grimaced.

“I feel like that’s a last resort kind of thing. Why don’t you just tell them, and then get the final no, and then move on. If you’re so sure they don’t feel the same way.”

“That’s not an option.” Chloe snapped.

“Chloe, I don’t know what to tell you. You can’t just take the easy way out of love. It’s hard, and frustrating at times. And sometimes you have to wrestle with uncomfortable emotions. If you’re not ready to do that, then you’re not ready to be in love with someone.” Marinette snapped back. Her force seemed to take Chloe by surprise, and the blonde looked suddenly sullen.

“I thought love would be easier.” Chloe mumbled.

“Yeah, we all did.” Marinette sighed, cooling her irritation.

“Thank you for your advice.”

“It’s not great advice.” The dark-haired teen shrugged. Just then, her phone pinged, as did Chloe’s. As Marinette pulled her phone out, she saw an email from the Institut Francais de la Mode, her top choice school. Her heart stopped in her chest, and then began beating again faster and faster as she opened the email.

“Holy shit.” She exhaled, joy seizing her as she read the acceptance letter. “I got in.” She whirled around and looked at Chloe, who’s expression was similarly gleeful.

“I got into my school as well!” The blonde squealed. In a moment of sheer joy, the two girls hugged tightly, bouncing a bit.

“Wait, where did you get in?” Chloe asked after they stopped jumping.

“IFM.” Marinette said breathlessly. “I applied for their design program.” Suddenly, the smile slipped off of Chloe’s face.

“Oh.”

“What?” Marinette’s heart raced even faster.

“I also got into IFM.”

“Oh.” Marinette echoed. “But we don’t like each other.”

“Right?” Chloe nodded, taking a step back.

“I mean, if I’m being honest with you, I don’t dislike you as much as I used to.”

“Really?” Chloe offered a half-smile. “I mean, I guess you’re not as bad as I thought.”

“Aw, thanks. Well then it’s decided. We’ll both go, and just not be horrible to each other. Deal?” Marinette held out her hand.

“Deal.” Chloe nodded severely. And as the two teens shook hands, each gritting their teeth and trying to bare it, the pact was made.


	21. Present

The next morning, Marinette had to think for a moment to make sure her walk home with Chat Noir hadn’t been a dream. But no, it had been real. In addition to the bed head, her hair had a distinctively windswept quality that could only be achieved by pole vaulting through the city.

“He looked happy.” She sighed, kneeling down to take hamster-Tikki from his cage. “That’s good, at least.” She brought the little creature to her bed, and let him run around and sniff at the covers.

Marinette got Tikki the hamster a few months after saying goodbye to Tikki the kwami. She missed having someone to talk to, and while Tikki the hamster was nowhere near as comforting as Tikki the kwami, he’d have to do.

“Marinette!” Her mother called up. Marinette slipped the little creature back into its cage, and threw open the latch to her room.

“What’s up mom?” Marinette said, peering down into the living room. Beyond her mother, she saw Adrien at the dining table, a full plate of food before him. Their eyes met, and Marinette couldn’t help but break into a wide smile. She scrambled down the stairs, sliding into the seat next to Adrien. If they were alone, she would have told him how she felt by now. She would have dragged him into a long kiss and never let him go. But since her mom was there, she settled for a chaste peck on the cheek.

“Did you make breakfast for me?” She asked, staring down at Adrien’s eggs and toast.

“You can make your own breakfast, you’re an adult.” Sabine clicked her tongue, serving Adrien another cup of coffee.

“Here, you can have some of mine.” He nudged the plate over to her. “I already ate.”

“Maman,” Marinette whined. “Stop over feeding him every time he comes over. He can take care of himself.”

“Excuse me if I worry. Living all on his own, he’s so thin.” Marinette fixed her mom with a glower.

“I really appreciate it Sabine. I’ll always have room for your cooking.” Adrien piped in, making Sabine grin.

“You’re enabling her. And you’re enabling him. You’re both enablers and enablees!” Marinette accused.

“Seriously, you can refuse my mom’s cooking.” Marinette sighed. Sabine had finally freed them for the relentless riptide of questions she had for Adrien, and they made their way across town to meet Chloe at the Musée d’Orsay.

“I know, I just don’t want to.” He dramatically rubbed his stomach.

“Well when you get fat, don’t blame me.” She shrugged.

“So you’ll leave me if I get fat? Do you like me only for my looks?” He quirked a brow in jest.

“Oh shush. Even if you got so fat that you were just a circle with stubs for arms and legs, I’d still love you. You know that.”

“You know, I actually don’t think I did.” It took Marinette a moment to realize Adrien had stopped walking, and a moment more to realize what she’d said.

“Oh, wow, I meant to say it much better than that. I mean, more elegant. I mean-“ she was cut off, as Adrien caught her up in a kiss.

“I love you too.” He whispered when he pulled away, his forehead still pressed against up hers.

“I was going to tell you today.” Marinette shivered at his words, as though she’d been electrified.

“I love you.” She said, testing out the words for real this time.

“I love you.” He echoed, ghosting his thumb against her cheek bone.

“I love you.” She said one more time for good measure. They could have stayed like this, even as the akuma alarm went off.

“I need to get you to safety.” Adrien said, the color draining from his face.

“It’s fine, we can just pop into a cafe and wait it out.” But this didn’t seem to satisfy Adrien. He took her hand, and rushed her through the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's so short. But at least it's cute!


	22. Two Years Ago

Lila was on Marinette’s last nerve. Not only had she been coming to school since the year began, but she kept talking about how she was going to some elite American university next year. 

Marinette didn’t care that Lila was going to America. In fact, Lila leaving the country was probably the best possible situation for Marinette. It was just that everyone knew that Max had applied to that same school and didn’t get in. 

It made Marinette furious to watch Lila brag to Max about the classes she was going to take and the professors she was going to meet. But, unlike previous times when Lila did something ridiculous, this time Marinette wasn’t alone in her anger.

“What’s her deal?” Kim huffed as they sat in the park.

“Who’s deal?” Alix asked, lacing up her roller skates. It was one of the last nice days before the weather got cold, and Kim and Alix had decided to have one more race.

“Lila. She won’t shut up about university.” The jock huffed. 

“It’s awful.” Alya added in. 

“Maybe she just doesn’t know that Max didn’t get in.” Adrien added. Marinette always admired Adrien for how empathetic he could be. But sometimes empathy wasn’t always the best answer. 

“Everyone knows that that was Max' first choice.” She said, looking up from her phone and the text she was currently writing to Luka. 

“Yeah. You’d have to be totally dense not to look at him and see how much he’s hurting.” Alya added. 

“We should do something for him, to make him feel better.” Marinette suggested, setting her phone down.

“That’s such a good idea.” Alya grinned, throwing her arm around Marinette’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, that’s really thoughtful.” Adrien beamed. “We can have a game night at my place. I just got a new TV, the graphics are awesome.” Adrien suggested. 

“I think he’d really like that. But Lila can’t come. Ok?” The group turned to Adrien, who seemed to wither under the idea of excluding someone. 

“Seriously, dude. I think it would be for the best.” Nino placed a consolatory hand on Adrien’s shoulder, and the blonde nodded.

“You’re probably right.” 

“Ok, so it will be us, obviously. Marinette, does Luka want to come?” Alya looked up from her phone, where she was rapidly typing out a guest list. 

“Sure! I can ask to see if he’s free.” 

“Who else? Juleka and Rose…” Alya trailed off, considering their classmates.

“Chloe?” Marinette said it without thinking, and only once everyone’s eyes were on her did she realize what she’d suggested. “Guys, I think she’s actually kind of fine.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Marinette?” Alya narrowed her eyes.

“I’m serious. I think she’s really been trying to be better.”

“She has been nicer.” Nino considered. “But I bet she won’t want to come. Video games really her thing.”

“I’ll ask just in case.” Adrien shrugged.

As they packed up their things and congratulated Alix on her win, Adrien and Marinette found themselves at the back of the pack. 

“That was really nice of you to think of Chloe.” He said. “I know you guys don’t really get along.”

“Well, we’re going to the same school, so might as well give it a try.” Marinette thought about telling him about their encounter over the weekend, but it was too surreal to try to explain. 

“Right! And we won’t be too far apart.” 

“Yeah! Your apartment is practically around the corner.” Marinette grinned.

“You’re welcome to come over any time. I can cook dinner.”

“That is a dangerous offer, Agreste.” And, in a moment of bravery, Marinette winked. She turned at the sound of Luka’s bike pulling up to the curb. But if she had kept looking at Adrien, she would have seen how red his cheeks had gone. 

The party went off without a hitch. Max cried when he found out that the party had been to cheer him up - but that might have been from the copious amounts of alcohol they all drank. In fact, Marinette couldn’t say for certain that the party went off without a hitch, because her memory of it was foggy. 

She did remember coming over to Adrien’s house early to help set up. 

“Is Luka coming?” He asked as she set down her bags.

“Oh, he can’t. He’s having dinner with his dad tonight.” She smiled, trying not to sound disappointed. Of course it was important for Luka to spend time with his dad, but she wanted him to get to know her friends better. Most of the time they just hung out alone. 

“Well, maybe next time.” 

“How’s baby Emile doing?” She asked, making idle conversation as they set up. 

“He’s great! They’re coming to visit later this month if you’d like to see him.” Adrien smiled. 

“I would love to! And what about your mom?” She broached the topic gently, her heart falling as Adrien’s smile slipped from his face. 

“She’s ok. Still stable, which I guess is good. But the doctors still don’t know what’s causing it.” Marinette’s heart stilled for a moment. The realization dawned on her: she probably knew more about Adrien’s mom’s condition than Adrien did. That didn’t feel fair to her. 

“Well,” she said, trying to distract herself from that notion. “I’m glad she’s ok at least.” 

They continued talking about other, happier topics, as they mixed drinks and set out snacks. 

“Hey, Marinette?” There was a hesitance in Adrien’s voice. A kind of uncertainty she only heard from him a few times. She set down the controller she was fiddling with, and turned to look at him. His cheeks were red, and he looked uncomfortable. 

“Is everything ok? Are you feeling well?” She asked. In an instant she was across the room, reaching up to feel his forehead with her hand.

“I’m feeling fine.” He said, taking her hand in his. Only then did she realize how close she was to him. They were no more than a few inches apart. Even though she was one hundred percent over him, completely not interested, not even remotely attracted to him, she felt her heart begin to race. 

“I just wanted to say-” And then a knock on the door startled both of them. Adrien went to answer it, leaving whatever he was about to say in the past. 

Marinette also remembered starting to drink right after that. Likely to get that harrowing, tantalizing moment out of her head. And from there, things began to get a bit hazy. She remembered playing video games with Max, dancing with Alya, and being utterly astonished when Chloe and Sabrina showed up. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” Adrien blinked, letting the two girls in. 

“What? No. I was always coming. You’re just misremembering.” Chloe huffed, pushing past him. 

“She definitely wasn’t coming, right?” Adrien whispered to Marinette.

“Yeah, Chloe told me yesterday in school that she wasn’t coming. And then a little bit later, Sabrina told me she wanted to come. Maybe something changed her mind.” Marinette watched the two girls navigate through the crowd. As Sabrina greeted everyone, Chloe stuck to her like a shadow, her usual haughty demeanor gone and replaced with a nervous expression. 

“By the way, Adrien. You wanted to tell me something earlier, right?” But when Marinette turned around, she found that Adrien had wandered off. 

The night continued on, and somehow Marinette found herself sitting in the kitchen alone, mainlining chips. In her drunken state, that was all she wanted. She surveyed the party, watching as her classmates laughed and drank and chatted. Her gaze settled on Adrien, who was talking to Nino in the corner. 

Too tipsy to feel shame for observing their clearly private interaction, she stared at them. They seemed to be talking quite seriously about something, with Adrien gesturing wildly. And then Nino sighed, and set a hand on Adrien’s shoulder, and began to explain something. Marinette would have traded her miraculous in order to be able to read lips. 

“Girl, what are you doing here?” Alya laughed, finding Marinette bringing a fistful of chips to her mouth.

“Is everything ok with Adrien? Has Nino said anything weird about him?” Marinette asked, her mouth full. 

“Why? What did he do?” Alya said, a little too quickly. 

“I don’t know. He got really serious when we were setting up, and tried to tell me something, but someone interrupted.” Marinette explained, not looking away from the two boys. 

“Huh.” Alya said, her voice somewhat strained. “I guess I’ll talk to Nino later and see.” 

The next thing she remembered, Sabrina had just slammed the door as she ran out of the apartment in tears. The noise of the party died down, as everyone turned to Chloe. 

“What?” She snarled, looking like a trapped feral animal. Marinette didn’t know what compelled her to do this, but in hindsight she was fairly certain it was the alcohol, but she stood on Adrien’s coffee table, waving her hands wildly.

“Everyone, I’d like to make a toast.” It worked like a charm. Immediately, attention was off of Chloe. Marinette watched from the corner of her eye as the blonde girl lowered her head, and darted off into the bathroom. 

“I-I just wanted to say that I’m proud of all of us. You all put in so much work throughout the years, and it’s really paid off. And I’m very proud to call you my friends.” It was quiet for a moment, and then Alya cheered loudly, leading the rest of the group. Marinette sighed, turning to step down from the table. And she found a hand extended out towards her. 

“Watch out, the table’s kind of shaky.” Adrien smiled. 

“Oh, thank you, kind sir.” She laughed, taking his hand. “I don’t know what possessed me to do that.” With her safely on the ground, she found herself once more, too close for comfort. 

“You’re just like that.” He shrugged. 

“What do you mean?” She quirked a brow, looking up at him. His cheeks were flushed and rose-colored, in a way that made his emerald eyes gleam. Marinette was reminded briefly of the way Chat Noir’s eyes glinted in the night. 

“You’re always doing the nicest thing, always putting others first.” He was slurring a bit, and Marinette could tell he was at the very least tipsy. “You’re just so wonderful.” 

“Hey!” A sharp voice barked as Nino seemed to materialize next to them. “Adrien, can I talk to you?” 

“But-” Adrien began to protest.

“Oh, shoot. Chloe.” Marinette hissed, thinking of the blonde in the bathroom. “I gotta go help her.” She made her way through the crowd, pushing past drunken classmates until she arrived at a locked bathroom door.

“Chloe, it’s Marinette. Can I come in?” She asked, knocking on the door. As she pressed her ear up against the wood, she could hear sniffles from inside. 

“Please? I just want to help. Also I have to pee.” A moment later, Marinette heard the door click. She pushed into the bathroom, to find the blonde correcting her makeup. 

“You ok?” Marinette asked, closing the door behind her. 

“Of course I am.” Chloe fronted. 

“Bullshit, I could hear you crying. Now what’s up?” She sat on the edge of the bathtub, trying not to look too drunk. 

“I said something stupid that made Sabrina cry. I’m always saying stupid things that make her cry, or not saying things when I should.” Chloe muttered. 

“Well, say the right thing.” The dark haired girl shrugged. 

“You really give bad advice.” Chloe groaned. 

“No, I’m serious. You clearly know what the right thing to say is, so why don’t you say it?”

“It’s not that easy.” 

“Why is it not that easy? Would you be lying to Sabrina if you said it?” Chloe shook her head, but said nothing. 

“Then just say it. Just tell her you love her and get it over with.” At this, Chloe went pale as a sheet. 

“How did you know?” She whispered, as if afraid to speak the words out loud. 

“They don't call me the savior of Paris for nothing.” Marinette shrugged, opening the door. “Now go tell her the right thing.” 

It took Chloe a moment to build confidence, but she eventually stood tall, wiped the rest of her smudged makeup away, and nodded. Marinette watched her ex-rival stomp out of the apartment, and sighed to herself. At least someone was saying the right thing.


	23. Present

There was something eerie about being on the streets of Paris during an akuma attack. The streets were emptied out, as everyone took shelter in nearby buildings. But they were also stages, empty sets awaiting the masked actors and made monsters. Marinette stared back at the citizens of Paris as they peered out from windows and from behind curtains. A short, and thoroughly disturbing walk later, they arrived at the hospital.

“I'm here to see Emilie Agreste.” Adrien quickly presented his ID and signed in on the visitor’s sheet.

Marinette sensed a tension in him that she hadn’t noticed before. He seemed angry.

“Is everything ok?” She asked as they rode up in the elevator.

“Hm?” He said, snatched out of whatever he’d been focusing on before. “Yeah. I’m just frustrated this keeps happening.”

“Yeah, it’s annoying.” Marinette set a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. But the consolation didn’t seem to relieve any frustration. He brought Marinette to Emilie’s room, greeting his mother with a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to check in with the doctor. Marinette, are you ok here?” She nodded, and then the boy was gone.

“We used to just use the miraculous for joy rides through the city.” Marinette jumped a bit at the sound of Emilie’s voice. She looked back at the older woman, finding her green eyes wistful and distant. A ghost of a smile passed over the woman’s pink lips.

“Before we had Adrien, when we were still young and didn’t get tired at 8 pm. We would get dressed up and fly through the city. I loved that feeling. The adrenaline coursing through me, the wind on my cheeks, the look of all the little lights so far below us.” Emilie closed her eyes, whisked away by the memory. It took her a minute to return, but when she did, her eyes were dimmer, her smile was gone.

“When Adrien was born, the doctors weren’t sure he was going to make it. I always knew he would, but I’m not sure Gabriel had that kind of confidence. He was a wreck when we brought Adrien home. Paranoid something was going to happen or that someone was going to try to hurt us. It was only then that he started using the miraculous to fight crime.”

“But Hawkmoth isn’t in any of the records of the city.” Marinette furrowed her brow.

“That’s because he used both of our miraculous. I was fine with it. I didn’t need to use my miraculous. I’d found a new kind of joy.”

Marinette came to sit beside Emilie, entranced by her story.

“I have so many regrets, but the biggest one is that I didn’t see how this was a cry for help. Gabriel needed my help, or someone’s help. He was drowning in his own fear. By the time I noticed, the man I fell in love with was gone. He was distant, paranoid, introverted, power hungry. He was working so hard to protect Adrien, but he barely spent any time with him.” Emilie seemed distressed now, as if these memories physically hurt her. Her eyes had become glassy and wet with tears.

“Emilie, you don’t have to talk about this if it’s painful.” Marinette reached out, setting a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

“I don’t have to, but I want to. Marinette, I’ve spent so many years keeping this secret, either because I wouldn’t tell anyone, or because I physically couldn’t. I want to be free of this burden, but I understand if it’s too much for you to hear.” She looked deflated. Marinette gathered her strength, and held onto Emilie tightly.

“I’m here for you Emilie.” Marinette said, determined. A look of surprise passed over the woman’s visage, and then she smiled.

“I can see why you were chosen to be Paris’ defender.” She took a beat, and then began anew. “Eventually I decided that enough was enough. Adrien was getting old enough to notice that something was wrong with his dad. I confronted Gabriel, and he did not take it well. I don’t think it’s necessary to go into all the details of what was said, but it made it clear to me that he was beyond saving. I made plans to take Adrien and leave.”   
“Then how did you end up like this?” The dark-haired girl whispered, eyes wide.

“I’d come across something when we first found the miraculous. It was a scroll written in the kwami language. I believe you’re familiar with it.” Marinette realized exactly what Emilie was talking about.

“The scroll I used to bring you back.”

“Your kwami probably didn’t read the other incantation, but it was to sever the kwami’s link with the miraculous, so they could live free, their power untethered. I was going to free both Duusu and Nooroo, leaving Gabriel no choice but to face his problems.”

“How does the incantation work?” Marinette felt her heart race in her chest. Something in the back of her brain, an idea she couldn't yet grasp, began to galvanize.

“I don’t remember.” A strange look passed over Emilie’s face, and Marinette had an inkling that the woman wasn’t telling the entire truth. “I just know that it’s very complicated, and if the ceremony is interrupted, well, you can see what happens. I would never have attempted it if I knew the consequences.”

There was quiet between them, as Marinette tried to determine whether Emilie was finished telling her story. But the older woman remained quiet.

“Emilie, I-” Marinette began, not entirely knowing what to say. “Thank you. For sharing with me.”

“Thank you for listening.” Just then, Adrien stumbled into the room, looking winded.

“Did you just run a marathon or something?” Marinette snorted, looking at her disheveled boyfriend.

“Huh? Oh, no, I just.” He stammered, collecting himself. “I thought I heard a bang, and came to make sure you were ok.”

“Marinette and I are just fine.” Emilie said, beckoning her son over. Once she had him in her arms, she squeezed tight.

“You sure? How are you feeling, mom?” He asked, eyes big with concern.

“I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted.” Emilie said, looking at Marinette. Marinette went bright red. Meanwhile, Adrien looked between them, suspicious.

“Well, now that the akuma attack is over, I should be heading home. I’m sure my mom is wondering if I’m ok.” Marinette stood, collecting her things.

“I’ll walk you out.” Adrien said, jumping up.

As they walked down the halls, Marinette could feel Adrien glancing at her, as if mustering the strength to say something.

“You’re wondering what your mom and I were talking about.” She smirked.

“I’m dying. Please, put me out of my misery.” He begged, grabbing her arm gently.

“It’s not my place to tell.” She shrugged. “You’ll just have to ask your mom.” In truth, she still wasn’t sure that Emilie had told Adrien about her history with the miraculous. She didn’t want to expose the woman. Adrien pouted, but, thankfully, dropped the topic.

“I can walk you home if you want.” He said as they stood at the exit to the hospital.

“It’s ok, Adrien. You should be with your mom.” She leaned up onto her tip toes, and kissed him.

“I love you.” He murmured.

“I love you too.” She replied, kissing him again, this time on the nose. He blushed, a dopey grin spreading over his face. She loved that dopey grin.

“See you later!” Marinette grinned back, and turned to leave. 

The city was quiet as she returned home. Most likely everyone had run home after the battle, trying to ensure that their loved ones were ok. But Marinette thought only briefly of her parents. Her mind dwelled on other things. Things like a powerful incantation that could free kwamis and bring Papillette’s reign of evil to an end.

Back in the safety of her own room, Marinette began to pace.

“Tikki, I could bring this all to an end.” She said out loud, looking at the little hamster.

“I know what you’re thinking, it’s not my place to end the miraculous. But what other options do we have? There’s no way Alya or Chat will give up their miraculous, especially not when Papillette is still out there.” She paced a few more times, before groaning loudly and falling back onto bed.

“You’re right, Tikki.” She slumped downwards, coming at an eye level with her silent conversation partner. “It’s a silly idea.” Marinette continued to sulk, not aware of the knocking on her window.

“Hey Princess, are you alive in there?” She yelped at the voice, scrambling up against the wall. Chat Noir was hanging upside down in her window, laughing at her reaction.

“Marinette, is everything alright?” She heard her mother call.

“Yes, mom. Just dropped something.” She called back, her chest heaving as her heart pounded against its cage.

“It’s not funny, Chat.” She flung the window open, so the pesky cat could come inside. He flipped gracefully into the room, and straightened up into a long, leisurely stretch.

“What are you doing here? What do you want?” She asked, ignoring the fact that he’d made himself comfortable on her bed.

“You’re saying I can’t just drop by for a little talk?” He pouted, feigning hurt.

“You’ve never done it before.” She shrugged, turning to her desk to clean.

“Well there’s a first time for everything.” He retorted, and then, as if to demonstrate his point, he said: “My dear friend, Marinette, how are you?”

“I’m well, Chat, thank you for asking. Very busy, with lots of work.” She turned to look at him, about to ask him how he was doing, when the words died on her lips. He had practically turned blue, his whole body clearly desperate to get something off his chest.

“What do you want Chat?” Marinette sighed.

“I need your advice on something.” The words rocketed out of him. 

“I knew it!” She declared, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“I’m sorry, you’re just the only person I can talk to about this.” He moped, looking miserable. Seeing his diminished state, Marinette hit pause on her smug celebration.

“You’re really upset about something, aren’t you?” She came to sit next to him on the bed.

“It’s just… Well I told the girl that I love that I love her.”

“Oh no, did she say no?” Marinette gasped, internally wondering how anyone could say no to Chat Noir, and then internally chastising herself for thinking that.

“No! She said yes. And I’m so excited. But…” He paused, his shoulders sinking. “She doesn’t know I’m Chat Noir. And it’s getting harder to keep it from her. And I feel so terrible being dishonest with her.”   
Marinette was quiet, knowing that she had to say something, to make him feel better, but knowing that she was wholly unqualified to be giving advice on the subject. When it got hard for her to keep her identity a secret, she just gave it up. Twice.

“That’s a really difficult situation, Chat Noir.” She said, giving his wrist a comforting squeeze. “I guess, I don’t think you should be scared to tell her. I think, if she loves you, she’ll forgive you for being dishonest. But you must know that telling her the truth might put her in danger.”

“I know.” He sighed.

“But I don’t know this girl. Maybe she likes danger? Maybe it’s not fair to make the decision for her.” Marinette was surprised by her own words. She’d always been steadfast in her convictions of keeping her identity secret. But maybe she was wrong.

“Can I tell you a secret that you have to promise to never tell anyone?” He looked at her, a determination coming into his eyes.

“Sure.” Marinette squeaked, suddenly not at all sure. Was he about to reveal his identity to her? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Of course she was curious, but if he revealed himself to her, then it was only fair she did the same. And she did NOT want to have to dredge up that conversation after all this time.

“I’ve been thinking about passing the Black Chat Miraculous on.” Relief washed over her twice: once for the relief of him not revealing his identity to her, and again for hearing that he was finally going to retire.

“That’s great, Chat! I’m so happy for you!”

“No!” He cried, jumping off the bed and beginning to pace. “You’re supposed to say that it’s terrible.”

“Why am I supposed to say that?” She furrowed her brow.

“Because it’s selfish!” He gestured with something akin to desperation.

“Ladybug did it, are you saying it was selfish?” Marinette snapped, her temper getting the better of her.

“No, of course not. But Ladybug deserved to retire.”

“And you don’t? You and Ladybug were both doing the same amount of work.” Marinette could see where this was going. Chat Noir hadn’t been her partner in a year and a half, but she still knew him all too well.

“No!” He argued. “Ladybug did everything. She gave up so much for the city, and I’ll never be able to do the same. I’m not as good as her.” And there it was.

They’d had this conversation so many times when they were partners. Chat Noir never felt like he was enough, compared to Ladybug. For some, bizarre, incomprehensible reason. But, while Chat’s insecurities had not changed, Marinette had. She was no longer Ladybug, for instance.

“Chat.” She said, hopping off the bed and grabbing him by the shoulders to still his frantic pacing. “Do you really think that your efforts haven’t meant anything to this city?”

“I don’t think they mean nothing, but…”

“No buts!” Marinette huffed, silencing him. “Chat, Ladybug would never have been able to save anyone or defend anything without you. You are just as important to the city as Ladybug was. You’re enough, Chat Noir. You’ve given enough. And it’s time you got to enjoyed your life properly.”

“I-I’ll think about it.” He said, diverting his gaze.

“I hope that helps.” She smiled.

“It does, thanks. I should probably get home. Thanks for listening.” She nodded, watching him take off the way he’d come. Marinette felt satisfied that she’d been able to help her life long friend. But then her satisfaction quickly fell away, replaced by the dull ache of hypocrisy. She’d told him to give his partner a choice to decide whether or not they knew his secret identity. But had she ever given Adrien a chance?

“Alright Tikki. You remember that really dumb idea I just had?” She sighed, looking into the hamster’s cage. “Well I just had an even dumber one. I think I’m going to tell Adrien I was Ladybug.”


	24. Two Years Ago

While the party the weekend before had helped Max overcome some of his sorrows, it turned out to be a temporary balm. When they got back to school the next week, Lila was back at it again. But this time, she began bragging to Adrien rather loudly about all the schools she’d gotten into and had to turn down. So now Max wasn’t the only one being tormented by Lila. Rose hadn’t gotten into her first choice, but Lila had and was “so embarrassed” because “she just applied as a joke.” 

At this point, the entire class was fed up with Lila, but didn’t know what to do about it. They knew better than to talk back. Marinette’s suspension and near-akumatization was enough to deter anyone from lashing out against Lila. Chloe was the only one with immunity but she was too smitten in her new relationship to even notice anything other than Sabrina. 

“Honestly, with the amount that girl lies, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t get into any of those schools.” Alya huffed one day, as they sat in the courtyard, watching Lila flip her hair and talk about how easy the standardized tests were. 

“She wouldn’t lie about that, would she?” Nino furrowed his brow. 

“She would lie about the color of the sky if it benefitted her.” Marinette fumed. 

“And there’s no way we can get her to shut up because she’d get all of us expelled. She’s a total super villain. Where’s Ladybug when you need her?” Alya sighed. An idea suddenly popped into her head. 

“This is a bad idea Marinette.” Tikki said that evening.

“It’s not my most ethical idea, but I feel like it’s the just thing to do.”

“I’ve told you, the power of the miraculous isn’t to be used for selfish reasons.”

“And it’s not.” Marinette replied. “This has nothing to do with me.”

“You know that’s not true. Lila has bothered you just as much as everyone else in your class, if not more.” The little sprite pouted. 

“I’m not even doing anything. I’m just going to see if she actually got in.”

“And if she didn’t?” Tikki narrowed her eyes.

“Then I will have the inner peace knowing that she’s just doing this to feel better about her sad life, and I won’t say a word.”

“Fine.” The kwami said, clearly reluctant. Marinette grinned, and said the magic words. She swung off into the winter evening, the cold air stinging her cheeks. 

She landed easily in the school’s open courtyard, just in time to see Principal Damocles locking up his office for the night.

“Is that you Ladybug?” He squinted down at her.

“Hi Mr. Damocles, I’m so sorry to bother you at this late hour, but I have a quick question about one of your students.” She said, making her way up the stairs to meet him.

“Really? Well please, step inside my office.” He blinked, confusion apparent in his wide eyes. 

“Thank you so much.” She said, taking a seat in the chair opposite his desk. 

“I wanted to ask about a student’s college placement. Her name is Lila Rossi.”

With this, Marinette watched her principal’s smile fade. 

“Ah. I’m afraid I can’t speak about college placement. We don’t like to disclose information.”

“I see. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” Ladybug forced a smile as the reality of what she’d attempted to do settled on her like an anvil. Tikki was right. This was manipulative and selfish. She shouldn’t have come.

“May I ask why you were curious about this particular student?” He asked as she turned to leave. 

“It’s nothing. I just heard a rumor about the girl, and given her history of being akumatized, I wanted to do a bit of investigation.”

“I see. I'm sorry, I wish I could be more helpful.” 

“No, you're fine. I should be going. But thank you for your time.” She gave him one last smile, and made her way back into the night. 

“You’re late. That’s unlike you. Everything ok?” Chat Noir asked when she finally made her way to their usual spot.

“Yeah, I just lost track of time.” She sighed, sitting next to him. They let their feet dangle off of the roof as they chatted idly and shared snacks that Ladybug had brought. 

“Random question, and you don’t have to say anything.” She rambled. “But you’re high school age, right?” 

“Getting a bit personal there, huh?” He winked. “But yeah, I am.”

“Is college in the cards for you?” She passed him a piece of a macaron and a cup of hot cocoa from her thermos. 

“Yeah, actually. I found out where I’m going a month ago. What about you?” 

“Same. I guess this is kind of an awkward topic, but I thought we should talk about it at some point. And I’m not going to ask any specifics. But…” she paused, chewing her bottom lip, trying to work up the confidence to say the right thing. “are you going to be around next year?” 

Chat set his cocoa aside, and took Ladybug’s gloved hand in both of his. His palms were warm from the hot beverage. 

“Ladybug, if you’re asking if I’m going to college in Paris, then yes. I’ll be around next year.” She sighed audibly, not bothering to hide her relief. 

“You can’t get rid of me that easy.” He chuckled, giving her hand two quick squeezes. “What about you?”

“Yep. I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.” She smiled. 

“And where is here going to be specifically? Sorbonne? Diderot? Sciences Po?” He began to badger, and Ladybug couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Chat, you bad kitty.” She gave him a playful nudge. 

“What if we’re going to the same university?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“I doubt we’re going to the same university.” She chuckled. It was hard to imagine Chat Noir laboring over haute couture. 

“But what if we were?” He pressed, flopping back against the roof. Ladybug twisted to look at him. The moon reflected off of the curvature of his body, creating waves of pale light on his chest and arms. She forced herself to look away.

“I really don’t think we are.” She repeated. 

“Just play along, will you? Humor my fantasies.”

“Ok, chaton. If somehow, by some miracle, we were not only at the same college but also in the same specialization, I think we would be friends.” 

“You think so?” He sat up, delight gleaming in his eyes.

“I guess.” She shrugged. “I’m assuming that whatever makes us friends as Ladybug and Chat Noir would still be there even without the masks.” 

“What else? Do you think maybe we’d fall for each other?” He waggled his brow, and she rolled her eyes. 

“No. What’s more likely to happen is one of us would slip up, and the other would find out that person’s secret identity. And then the whole dance we’ve been doing to keep our identities secret would have been for nothing.”

“That sounds like my dream.” Chat Noir grinned.

“Ugh. That sounds like my nightmare.”


	25. Present

Marinette practically ran to Adrien’s house, and only when she was a few blocks away did she take a break to catch her breath, and think about what she was going to say. She sat on a nearby park bench, staring up into the sky, rehearsing how she’d let Adrien know everything.

“This may come as a surprise, but I’m Ladybug. Or I was Ladybug. No, I can’t stammer like that.” She said out loud, not really caring if anyone heard. She was about ready to go, when she noticed a black-clad figure hopping across the rooftops. 

“Huh.” Out of idle curiosity, Marinette followed him, jogging through the street to keep up with the superhero. 

She’d barely even noticed that her chase had taken her outside Adrien’s apartment until she watched Chat Noir swung down onto the small balcony right outside Adrien’s room, and then de-transformed.

Marinette’s world broke. Her heart stopped, only to begin again at an erratic and dangerously fast pace. Her vision seemed to grow blurry for a moment, and she had to squint to ensure that what she was really seeing was correct.

It was Adrien. There was no doubt about it. He was wearing the same outfit she’d seen him in earlier that day. His hair was slightly mussed in the same way she’d seen it when he burst back into the hospital. Right after the akuma attack had been over.

Marinette turned on her heel and headed back the way she’d come, not bothering to hide the tears that were streaming down her face. Rage boiled in her chest, threatening to burn her from the inside out.  
She wasn’t angry at Adrien or Chat - although she now realized that distinction was worthless. How could she be angry at them - him, when she’d just heard from Chat how distraught he was about not being able to tell the truth. He’d come to her for advice because it was her he needed advice about. 

No, she was angry at herself. Because she couldn’t help but think that things could have been so different if she just hadn’t made that stupid rule. All those years pining after Adrien while rejecting Chat Noir - only to discover that they were the same person.

What a fool she’d been.

Marinette slammed the door on her way into the apartment, startling her parents.

“Marinette, is everything ok?” Her dad called.

“Everything’s fine.” She said, trying to hide her face. She stormed upstairs, banging the door as she entered her room. Marinette knew she must look silly as she flopped onto her bed, dragged a stuffed animal close to her, and cried. But the dam she'd built over the years had just burst, and now a deluge of emotions flooded her brain. 

And the worst of it all, was that she just wanted to talk to Adrien. She wanted to call him up, and crawl into his lap, and cry while he told her it would be all right.

When the tears finally subsided, Marinette was left feeling directionless. How could she go back to being with Adrien, knowing that he was Chat Noir? How could she be worthy of his love, when he was the partner she’d rejected and then abandoned? She couldn’t talk to Alya, for obvious reasons. She couldn’t talk to her parents, again for obvious reasons. The only people who knew that she was Ladybug were Emilie, and… 

“Chloe.” Marinette gasped, lunging for her phone.

“Hey, I’m a little busy right now-” Chloe began when the line connected.

“I found out who Chat Noir is and I need to talk.” Marinette burst out. There was silence for a minute, before Chloe spoke. 

“I’m coming over and I’m bringing booze.”

Ten minutes later, Chloe and Marinette were sitting on the latter’s carpet, while the former opened a bottle of bourbon.

“Before you say anything. You need a drink, you look awful.” Chloe said, proffering the bottle. Marinette took it gratefully and chugged.

“Ok.” The dark-haired girl gasped, wincing as the liquor burned the back of her throat. “So here’s the thing. I can’t tell you who Chat Noir is. Because that would be wrong. But maybe I can give you some hints. He’s someone that-”

“It’s Adrien.”

“-you and I both-”

“Adrien.”

“-know, and yes, it’s Adrien. Oh my god it’s Adrien. How did you know?”

“Honestly I didn’t know. I just thought about the most dramatic person it could be.” Chloe shrugged. “It literally makes so much sense, I’m truly astonished I didn’t guess it.”

“So much sense.” Marinette sighed, flopping onto the floor.

“I get that you’re, like, super distraught. But can we take a moment to admire the sexual implications of all this? You were so bent out of shape for being in “lust” with Chat Noir, when turns out you just wanted to bone the same guy you were already boning.”

“Honestly, that’s the only good thing that’s come out of this. The mystery of my attraction to Chat Noir, finally explained.” Marinette threw her hands out, resigned to being the subject of fate's cruel games.

“So why are you not having sex with your superhero boyfriend right now?” Chloe lay on her side next to Marinette, her head propped up by her palm.

“Because telling him I know would mean that I have to tell him I was Ladybug. Which means he’s going to break up with me for leaving him. And then I’m also going to have to tell him I’m Ruse Rouge, which means I lied to him twice.” Marinette dragged a hand through her short hair.

“I don’t think he’s going to break up with you. He's lied to you too.” Chloe noted. 

“I’m really wishing I had that incantation right about now.” Marinette muttered.

“Are we still talking about the same thing?” Chloe raised a brow.

“Unfortunately. Earlier today Emilie told me that she used this incantation to break the peacock miraculous. Like the one I used to fix Emilie and restore the Peacock miraculous, but opposite.”

“Excuse me, that would solve everyone’s problems.”

“Yeah, but no. First, I don’t even have the incantation anymore. Emilie said she doesn't remember it. Second, I would have to get Papillette’s miraculous in order to neutralize it, and I don’t even know where she is. And third, I could wind up in a coma or dead if someone interrupted the incantation.”

“I don’t see how these are problems.” Chloe blinked.

“What?” Marinette furrowed her brow.

“Ok. So first, Emilie probably remembers the incantation. Her memory is better than she lets on. I'm sure if you explain everything, she'll tell you the incantation. Second, just join up as Ruse Rouge again. Eventually you’ll track down Papillette. And third, when you beat Papillette, just grab the miraculous and run. Go somewhere no one would find you, and end it.”

“Chloe,” Marinette said, watching as her friend took a swig from the bottle. “That’s a really good plan.”

“I know. I’m a genius.” Chloe shrugged.

“Although I feel bad. I mean, who am I to make the call to destroy the butterfly miraculous?”

“You’re freaking Ladybug.” Chloe laughed.

“No, I was Ladybug.” Marinette huffed.

“Semantics.”

“I would have to trick Alya, and Adrien.”

“Marinette, you’ve been nothing but good your entire life.” Chloe leaned in close, her blue eyes glinting with mischief. Marinette could smell the perfume on the girl’s neck. “Let yourself be bad for once.”


	26. Two Years Ago

A week passed, and Marinette was finally able to process the guilt she felt over trying to get the principal to give her dirt on Lila. And then she walked into school one day, and was hit by a wall of whispers. The frenetic energy in the school was almost palpable. 

“What’s going on?” She whispered to Alya as she sat down. 

“If you weren’t habitually late, you’d know. Principal Damocles posted college placement in all of the classrooms. And guess who’s not going to Harvard.” The guilt she’d managed to dam up broke through, drowning her thoughts.

“Is Lila here?” She whispered, trying to appear calm. 

“Not yet. It’s going to be an absolute shit show when she comes in though.” Marinette looked around the room and saw her classmates leering at the door with hungry eyes. 

She peered down at her bag, and saw Tikki staring back up at her. She looked furious. Or at least as furious as an adorable little creature could manage to look. 

“We’re talking about this later.” The kwami hissed, and Marinette wanted to disappear. 

“I don’t think we should make fun of her.” Marinette whispered to Alya. “Or say anything at all.” 

“What?” Alya hissed. “Dude, have you not been in this class for the last four months? She’s tormented everyone, and turns out it was all a lie.” 

“I just feel like as soon as she sees that we all know, it will be bad enough. I don’t want to pile on.” 

“Ugh. Why are you always so morally good.” Alya groaned, and stood up. Meanwhile, Marinette grimaced 

“Guys, Marinette just pointed out something and I think she’s right. We shouldn’t attack Lila over this. I know everyone is itching to tear her apart, and I am too. But clearly life isn’t great for her and she feels the need to lie about it to make herself feel better. Us knowing that she was caught in a lie is good enough. Right? If we rub it in her face, then we’re just as bad as her.” The class groaned, and a few people mumbled their complaints, but everyone resigned to taking the moral high road. 

“Dude she’s coming.” Nino whispered, tugging Alya back down. When Lila walked through the door, the room went dead quiet. Marinette slouched further into her chair, her shoulders tensed, as though she was waiting for a blow to hit. 

But nothing came. Lila took her usual seat next to Adrien, which used to be Nino’s seat. Eventually, a wary chatter resumed. She was too busy telling Adrien about what she’d done over the weekend. Marinette sighed, letting the tension ease from her body. She’d done her part to remedy the situation. The situation that she’d created. She kept doing moral acrobatics in her mind, trying to convince herself that her initial action hadn’t been wrong. 

How could she have known that Damocles would take this highly unusual step as a way to deter misinformation? He probably shouldn’t have done it! But he wouldn’t have done it at all unless Ladybug had asked about it. 

No matter how she twisted and turned the situation, she was in the wrong. At least she’d been able to avoid the worst possible situation. 

“Ha!” Marinette was startled by the barking laugh. When she looked up, she saw Chloe was reading the placement list pinned to the chalkboard. 

Scratch that, Marinette had wound up in the exact worst possible situation. 

“What’s so funny?” Lila blinked innocently. Behind her, Marinette was gesturing wildly at Chloe, trying to get her to shut up. But the blonde was too focused on her target to notice. 

“What’s funny, Rossi, is that you got exactly what was coming to you.” 

“What do you mean?” The entire class cringed, preparing for the incoming takedown. 

“Oh yikes, I’m guessing you haven’t seen that Damocles posted the college placements. That’s so embarrassing for you.” Chloe feigned sympathy.

Lila flew up, shoving past Chloe and ripping the paper off the wall. When she turned to the class, she was bright red, not from humiliation, but from anger. 

“Seriously, this is perfect. After the months you’ve spent running your mouth on about how you got into all these schools, the emotional payoff on this could not be better. I have to hand it to you, the fact that we believed for a minute that you could get into Harvard, you’re a good actress. Maybe you should try that out, since academia is clearly not your forte.” 

“Chloe, cut it out.” Marinette stood. “There’s no need to make her feel worse about this.”

“I don’t need your pity, Marinette.” Lila seethed, glaring daggers at the dark-haired girl. 

“Listen Lila,” Marinette was startled to hear Adrien speak so plainly. His irritation rang loud and clear. “Marinette was the only one in this room who stood up for you. If I were in your situation, I would take any pity I could get.” 

Lila held Marinette’s gaze for a moment longer, and then turned from the room. The door slammed behind her, and that was the end of it. Lila stopped coming to school, and a few days later Miss Bustier announced that Lila had transferred. No one felt sorry for what had happened. Except Marinette. 

“Are you still not talking to me?” She called as she entered her room. She spotted the little sprite sitting on her bed, and crawled up to sit next to her. 

“I’m sorry Tikki.” She said. This had become a little routine of theirs ever since Lila had been found out. Tikki refused to talk to Marinette, Marinette begged for forgiveness to no avail, and then would go about her day. She hadn’t transformed into Ladybug except for the night after, and that was only to tell Chat Noir that she was going to be off for a week. 

“Everything alright?” He’d asked, worry spelled plainly across his face.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just got into a fight with my kwami, and it doesn’t feel right to be Ladybug if she’s mad at me.”

“I understand. Well, take your time, but also be back soon because it’s going to be so boring without you.” Chat Noir had grinned. Ladybug smiled morosely, and then hung up. 

“You know I don’t know how I can make this up to you if you don’t tell me.” She frowned, looking down at the little bug. Tikki harrumphed, and turned away.

“Fine. I’m going to see Luka. There are cookies on the desk.” Marinette sighed, sliding off the bed. 

Marinette wracked her brain for ways to fix the situation with Tikki as she biked over to Luka’s. There, he met her with a hug and a movie, and she was able to put aside her guilt for awhile. 

“Jules told me what happened with that girl at your school.”

“Ugh, isn’t it awful?” Marinette sighed, curling up in his arms. 

“I guess it’s really embarrassing for her, but it kind of seems like karma. Right?” 

“I don’t know. I feel like it’s my fault somehow.” She muttered. 

“Jules told me it was your idea to be kind to her, and you tried to stand up for her. It seems like it’s not your fault at all.” He spoke smoothly, undoing her pigtails so he could run his hands through her hair. At this point, her hair had grown past her shoulders. She thought it suited her, but she was still secretly jealous of Bridgette’s waist-length hair. 

Marinette allowed herself to relax into the gentle touch. 

“How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?” She hummed. 

“Maybe it’s my magic power.” He laughed. “You always put such high expectations on yourself. Which is wonderful, and is part of what makes you so amazing. But it’s ok to mess up sometimes and give yourself a break when you do.” 

“You’re right.” Marinette sighed. But when she closed her eyes, she still saw Lila’s eyes, glaring up at her. There was something about that glare that frightened Marinette. Not just the rage and humiliation, but the shadow of something darker that lingered just beneath the surface.


	27. Present

“Please.” Marinette wheezed as she ran after Ladybird.

“No, I already told you. I promised you I wouldn’t let any harm come to you. And I failed in my promise. I can’t make the same one again.” Ladybird replied. Marinette forgot how much strength and energy the miraculous gave their holders. Even with her daily runs, Marinette was no match for Ladybird.

“But that’s a dumb promise to make.” She said, and when Ladybird looked back with a disapproving glare, added. “No offense. I just mean that harm is a risk that someone takes when they decide to start using a miraculous. And I knew that.”

“So why did you give it up?” Ladybird slowed to a stop.

“Because I got freaked out. Because I was an idiot. But like a day later I realized how I made a big deal out of nothing.” That wasn’t true. Marinette was still frightened by her experience as Ruse Rouge. But she couldn’t let fear get in the way of what she needed to do.

She’d been tailing Ladybird for a week now. And whenever she could get Ladybird alone, she would beg for the hero to let her back onto the team.

“I don’t know, Marinette.” Ladybird sighed, running a hand through her hair.

“Listen, I’m assuming that what I experienced as Ruse Rouge was some of the worst it could get. Right?”

“I mean that was pretty bad, but-”

“And I survived, and I’m back again for more. Don’t you think that means that I have been fully exposed to and made aware of the risk associated with being a miraculous wielder?”

“You were a wielder for a few months. As someone who’s been Ladybird for over a year now, I can tell you that the fighting is only one part of it. The secrets, and the lying, and the excuses weigh on you.”

“I know. But I was good at the fighting part. I felt like I was doing my part as a citizen of Paris. Please give me that chance again. You can take the miraculous back the moment I show any signs of not being able to handle it.”

“Promise?” Ladybird arched her brow.

“I promise.” Marinette tried not to look too happy.

“Fine. I’ll find you the next time an akuma attacks. Now can I go do my job?”

Marinette nodded, and watched Ladybird zip off. When she was alone, she pulled out her phone and texted Chloe with the update. 

The akuma attack was over by the time she got home, and as was completely expected by now, Adrien texted her immediately after. “You ok?”

“Yep, all good!” She replied, adding in two heart emojis to make sure she didn’t come off as terse.

“Tikki, I can’t believe I was so dumb. If I’d just taken a moment to really think about it, I would have realized that I never saw Adrien and Chat Noir in the same room.” Marinette groaned, flopping onto her bed and curling into her pillow.

Ever since she discovered that Adrien was Chat Noir, Marinette had been trying to avoid him. Unsuccessfully, for the most part, because how do you avoid your boyfriend without raising suspicions? But luckily term projects kept her plenty busy and gave her a legitimate excuse not to see him.

It wasn’t that she was mad at him. It was just that any time she saw him, she wound up mad at herself. Mad that she didn’t notice this sooner. Mad that she was the one who came up with the ridiculous secret identity rule. Mad that she had abandoned him, and that when he found out that she had been Ladybug he’d break up with her and never want to see her again. 

And that was a when, and not an if, because Marinette didn’t trust herself to keep lying to him. Every time they were together she had to wage an all out war with her guilt just to keep from spilling her guts. She’d won every battle so far, but she didn’t know how much fight she had left in her. 

The easiest thing she could do would be break up with him now. Save herself the internal strife and him the pain when everything came to light. After all, if she was successful, that’s how it would end anyway. But she couldn’t bring herself to do that. She loved him so much, and would gladly take these last few weeks with him over a soothed conscience. 

Marinette didn’t have to wait long at all for her chance to join the team again to arise. Halfway through the day the alarm went off, and she just had to wait a few minutes on the rooftop of her school for Ladybird to find her.

“Alright, are you ready for this?” Ladybird asked.

“I am. I promise I am.” Marinette nodded, her heart jumping at the sight of the familiar pendant.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

Marinette hadn’t thought out the part where she would actually have to make nice with Chat Noir. She’d completely forgotten that the last time they spoke was when she’d goaded him into snapping at her. Or that since that time she had a rather drastic haircut. But Chat Noir didn’t seem to notice anything when Ladybird showed up with Ruse Rouge. He was truly so dense.

“Hey Ruru. Long time no see.” Carapace grinned.

“Yeah. It’s good to be back.” She smiled, trying to share a friendly smile with Chat Noir. But all she saw was Adrien, and she felt a little sick.

Marinette had been right. She was good at this. Probably because she had at least five years of experience under her belt with fighting akumas. But some part of her thought that maybe she was just naturally good at being a superhero. Not that that would matter for much longer. They knocked the akuma out within thirty minutes, and were saying their goodbyes. Ladybird and Carapace headed out, leaving just her and Chat Noir. No, just her and Adrien. Marinette put aside her discomfort and approached him.

“Hey, I wanted to just clear the air. I know last time we were on the same team things got a bit difficult. That was on me. I got a big head.” She said, unable to meet his gaze.

“No, you were right. My therapist tells me I have trust issues.” He laughed, twirling his tail in his hand. Marinette froze. Since when did Adrien have a therapist?

“Yeah. I get that.” She laughed awkwardly. “Well, I guess since we’ll be working together, I hope we can be friends.” Chat Noir smiled, and Marinette tried not to be hurt when no recognition passed through his gaze.


	28. Two Years Ago

Marinette tried to hold back tears as she looked out over the sea of her classmates, all lined up in the courtyard. An early summer breeze swept through the courtyard, sending people chasing after caps and pulling at fluttering gowns.

“Are you ok?” Marinette jumped at the sound of the voice. Alya had wrapped her arm around Marinette, and was squeezing tight.

“I don’t know how I’m going to say anything without crying.” The dark-haired girl tried to laugh, but it came out choked.

“You’ll be fine. Just remember to breathe. And if you cry, you cry.” She shrugged, planting a kiss on Marinette’s forehead.

“Hey Marinette are you ready?” Adrien approached, grinning widely. “Oh, you’ve got something.” Marinette traced his finger to her forehead, and gave a sharp glare at Alya before trying to wipe the lipstick off.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She laughed sheepishly. She had been shocked when the class voted for her to speak at their graduation. She was nowhere near the smartest in the class, nor was she the most popular. But they’d chosen her, and she’d spent months agonizing over her speech, finally producing something somewhat acceptable.

“You’ll be amazing.” He reassured, but that didn’t stop her hands from shaking.

“Everyone, please take your spots in line.” Madame Mendeleiev called, sending students scattering to their places. Marinette could hear music start up in the auditorium, and her shaking grew worse.

Adrien led the group, followed by Chloe, into the auditorium where an ocean of teachers, parents, and family was seated. She caught a glimpse of her parents, and Luka. Her boyfriend caught her eye, and winked. Marinette was so nervous, she could barely focus on the ceremony. Until Damocles called her name. Marinette made her way to the stage, trying with all her might not to trip and fall. She took her place behind the podium, staring out over the crowd, feeling like she might throw up.

“H-hi.” She stammered, feeling her cheeks go red. Marinette closed her eyes and breathed. Now wasn’t the time to be Marinette. Now was the time to be Ladybug. She could do this.

She opened her eyes, feeling a wave of confidence wash her anxiety away. And then the roof of the auditorium exploded.

The crowd went screaming, scattering in every direction.

“Mom, Dad!” Marinette cried, trying to find her parents in the crowd. Panic threatened to overtake her as she tried to spot them, or Alya, or Luka, or anyone. But it was like the room was suddenly full of strangers. Marinette sunk down behind the podium, feeling suddenly suffocated by her robes. Normally she would run off and transform, but she couldn’t move. Everyone she loved and cared about was in this room. And she had the power to save them all, but she couldn’t even move.

“Marinette, come with me.” Someone’s voice called. Amongst the rubble and the dust, she saw a hand reach out for her. Marinette took it, only slightly aware that she was being pulled into the halls of her school, and then into the bathroom.

“Earth to Marinette, you have to transform.” This snapped Marinette out of her confusion. She thought maybe Tikki had spoken, but the little creature was tucked in her bag. Marinette blinked the shock from her mind, and saw that Chloe was standing before her.

“You’re bleeding!” Marinette cried, as a trickle of blood ran down Chloe’s temple.

“Seriously, that’s what you’re concerned about right now? I’ll be fine, you need to transform. We need Ladybug.” Marinette had one million questions racing through her mind. How Chloe knew she was Ladybug being the most important one. But now was not the time.

“Got it.” Nodded, calling forth Tikki.

“You don’t say a word. Ok?” She scowled at Chloe, and the blonde shrugged.

“Who would I tell?” It wasn’t exactly reassuring, as Marinette could think of hundreds of people that Chloe could tell. But again, not the time. She darted into the halls, trying to find Chat Noir in the commotion. What she saw instead were her parents, and grandparents, and Luka, calling her name. Her heart gripped tight in her chest, but she kept running towards the auditorium. Not the time.

“Chat!” She called, bursting into the room. Light streamed down through the gaping hole in the roof, and Ladybug tried to see if there was anyone trapped in the rubble.

“Help!” She heard a meek cry. Quickly, she darted towards the noise, kicking rubble out of the way.

“Rose.” Marinette cried, forgetting herself for just a moment. The girl was trapped under a collapsed column, blood and dirt smearing across her face. “Try not to panic, I’ll help you out of here.” Ladybug pushed against the column, but it was too heavy for her. If she didn’t get Rose out of here quickly, the girl would be seriously damaged. She pushed again, letting out a roar as she put all of her strength into it. But the column wouldn’t budge. She tried again, and another time, to no avail. And then she tried one more time, screaming as her body met the resistance of the fallen rock. And then it suddenly grew lighter, and she lifted it up. She opened her eyes to find that she wasn’t alone.

“I’ll hold it. You get her out of here.” Chat said, groaning under the weight of the column. Ladybug didn’t argue, and dragged Rose to safety. Chat was struggling under the pressure, and as soon as Ladybug was a safe distance away, he leapt forward, letting the column crash and break behind him.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” She said. “But we have to get everyone out of here.” Ladybug and Chat Noir set about trying to evacuate the building as it began to collapse around them. Marinette tried not to think that this was her high school being leveled around her. She couldn’t think about that now. Now was not the time.

She remained solemn as she escorted everyone out of the building, even helping her father limp his way through the front gate.

“Ladybug, you need to find my daughter. We can’t find her.” He sobbed, gripping her shoulders tightly.

“She didn’t want to lie to her parents. She wanted to tell them everything. But now was not the time.

“I saw her escape, she probably ran back home.”

She met up with Chat Noir outside the classroom, as he escorted the last few grandparents out of the building. Just in time to watch the building begin to crumble.

“No.” Marinette gasped, watching the structure smoke and catch fire.

And that’s when she saw the butterfly. At first it was just one white butterfly, flitting its way high above the flames. And then there was another, and two more. Soon a swarm of butterflies filled the sky, blocking out the light of the sun. Ladybug and Chat Noir watched the swarm, surrounded by the wreckage of the school.

There was nothing to do. They’d lost. They’d protected the people, but the damage was done and the message had been sent. Someone, maybe Hawkmoth, maybe someone else, was coming for them. 

Ladybug felt tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted to crumble away right there. To fall to her knees and wave the white flag. She didn’t want to fight at all. Then she felt Chat Noir’s hand take hers.

“We won once before.” He said, rage burning in his green eyes, or maybe that was just the fire playing tricks on Ladybug’s vision. “We can do it again.”

Two days later, an akumatized victim broke into the broadcasting studio to announce the beginning of the reign of Papillette. Marinette saw this, and made an excuse to leave her date with Luka. Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated the akuma handily, but once again the damage had already been done. They were one step behind. 

A month later, the city had been ravaged by Papillette’s champions. Of course there was no sign of the damage. Ladybug had ensured there wasn’t. But the mental damage had been done. Businesses were shutting down as citizens moved out of the city. They just couldn’t take another Hawkmoth.

Ladybug didn’t blame them.

The government instituted the akuma alarm in every building and in the speakers all across the city. City-wide evacuation plans were drawn up, just in case. Ladybug and Chat Noir knew what that case was. The case where they failed.

Ladybug didn’t blame them for that either.

Marinette wasn’t counting, but at this point she spent more time as Ladybug than as Marinette.

Which was becoming difficult, since her parents didn’t want her to leave the house without an escort. They closed up the door to her balcony, saying that it was just too risky.

And, again, Ladybug didn’t blame them. 

Ladybug found herself crying a lot these days. She cried when she was alone, letting fat tears roll down her cheeks.

Sometimes she cried in front of Luka, and when he asked why she was sad, she said she didn’t know. She was just sad.

She never cried in front of Chat Noir. She couldn’t let herself cry in front of him. She couldn’t let him know that she was so close to breaking. Through all of this, he was her constant. He was her reminder that she needed to be strong.

But, despite this, things between them had changed. Gone were the days of relentless quipping and witty remarks. Now, if they spoke at all, they spoke earnestly.

When they ended a battle, they no longer fist bumped and grinned, celebrating their victory. Now they just sighed, and sat in silence until their miraculous ran out. Occasionally Ladybug would reach out to grip his hand and squeeze it tight. To remind each other that they were still there, still standing, still fighting.

“I think we should bring someone else onto the team, full time.” She sighed one time as they limped away from a battle. She slung her arm around him so he could support her weight.

“What do you mean?” He seemed startled by this suggestion. Ladybug sighed again, and slumped down to sit on a park bench.

“Chat, we’re not- I’m not strong enough to keep doing this.” She admitted, staring at the ground. He didn’t say anything for a while. She finally looked up, but was still unable to decipher his expression.

“I’ll follow your lead.”

Ladybug was surprised Carapace said yes when she offered him the turtle miraculous full time.

“You can say no if you want.” She said, placing the bracelet in his palm. She kept her hand there a moment longer, trying to give him the option to let her take it back.

“There are people in this city I care about. I’m not going to let anyone hurt them.”

Carapace was helpful, but it was like putting a band-aid on a cracking dam. The crack was still there, growing wider every day.


	29. Present

Ruse Rouge flew back, flipping away from the fight and landing, perfectly balanced on a rooftop. Her body buzzed with adrenaline and power, she felt completely invulnerable. 

“Chat!” She cried, running towards the black figure on the ground. He looked up, and sent his staff extending upwards. When she got close enough, Ruse Rouge leapt off the roof and grabbed the pole with her hands. She spun around, and when she was in line with the akuma, she let go, letting gravity take her, and her extended foot, directly towards the man. She connected with the akuma’s face with a satisfying crunch. The akuma went flying right towards Ladybird. Ladybird made swift work of him, breaking the akuma and setting Paris right. The battle was over, but Ruse Rouge wanted more. She felt amazing. She felt like she could take down Papillette with one hand tied behind her back. 

“RuRu, that was awesome.” Chat grinned, slinging an arm around her. 

“Thanks.” She beamed. “You were awesome too!”

“Seriously, how did you learn to move like that?” He asked, following behind Ladybird as she led them away from the scene.

“I guess I just watched a lot of action movies as a kid.” She lied deftly. She’d gotten really good at lying these days. 

“I should get going.” Ladybird said, pointing at her earrings. 

“Right, me too.” Ruse Rouge smiled. The trio said goodbye and went their separate ways. 

She waited until the other two were well out of sight before she turned directions, and headed towards Alya’s house. 

It was easy enough to sneak up to the window and pick the lock. Ruse Rouge slid into the apartment and dropped down to the carpeted floor. Alya still lived in her parents’ house, but had moved to the bigger room after Nora had moved out. The soles of her thigh-high boots made no noise as she crept through the dark room. It didn’t matter if she knew exactly who Papillette was if she couldn’t neutralize all the miraculous in one shot. Which meant she needed to get the miraculous. She wasn’t going to take them now. Not yet. She just couldn’t waste time later on trying to look for them. But Alya was such a hoarder that there was no telling where the miraculous box had been hidden. 

That invincible feeling had vanished, leaving guilt in its place. It churned in her stomach, making her sick. But she ignored the feeling and kept searching. Alya was such a hoarder that finding anything in her closet was a near impossible task. However, as Ruse Rouge poked and prodded at Alya’s overstuffed closet, she saw something familiar crammed into the top shelf. The familiar curling edges of an old scroll. She reached up and plucked it from its place, feeling her pulse quicken as she unraveled it to find the familiar writing of the scroll she’d used once before.  
Suddenly, she heard the door swing open and close. 

“Hey mom, I’m home early.” 

“Crap.” Ruse Rouge hissed, scrambling back towards the window. She’d barely made it out when Alya came into her room. The fox superhero hung from the window’s ledge as heard Alya rummaging through the room. She should leave. She should just drop down from the ledge, and walk home. But then she heard Tikki’s voice. 

“Mirage.” She whispered, the words coming out of her before she knew what was happening. When she looked down, she saw nothing. She was invisible. The superhero, though she didn’t feel even remotely super right now, sat on the ledge of her best friend’s window, staring in at a scene so familiar she might as well have been playing one of her own memories. Alya sitting on the bed, crying, while the little sprite hovered close by, trying to offer some consolation. 

Ruse Rouge knew exactly what was going through Alya’s head, because she’d been there herself. 

She turned, and dropped down into a nearby alleyway, and transformed back. Marinette would do this. Even if it meant alienating her family, saying goodbye to the man she loved, losing her friends. She would destroy the miraculous. 

“Hi, I’m here to see Emilie Graham de Vanily?” Marinette stood on her tip-toes to peer over the receptionist’s exceptionally tall desk. It was really more a security booth than anything.

“Are you family?” The man behind it arched a brow.

“I’m her son’s girlfriend. I just wanted to bring flowers.” She frowned, holding up the bouquet. He did not seem impressed.

“Unfortunately Ms. Graham de Vanily isn’t taking visitors today. You’ll have to bring flowers tomorrow.” Marinette deflated.

“Is there a schedule for visiting hours?” She asked, even though she’d already looked up visiting hours. 

“It’s online.” He replied. She knew that already. 

“Oh, ok.” She smiled pleasantly, too tired to fight this battle. “I’ll come back then.” She turned to leave, ignoring the disappointment welling in her chest. She was no stranger to this feeling. 

“Marinette, is that you?” An airy voice said. The dark-haired girl turned to see Emilie being pushed in a wheelchair past the entrance. The nurse pushing the chair seemed very frustrated to be stopped. 

“Hi Emilie!” Marinette said, her eyes wide with delight. “I just came to drop off some flowers and see how you were doing.” That, and to talk about the fate of the miraculous.

“How sweet of you. Why don’t you come back to my room for tea, you look exhausted.”

“Ms. Graham de Vanily, we need you to rest.” The attendant said. 

“Oh, it will only be for a few minutes Tristan.” Marinette watched as Emilie’s kind and beautiful face melted the man’s resolve. “Why don’t you take a break Tristan. Marinette can take it from here.” The man stepped away from the wheelchair, allowing Marinette to take his place. 

The ride back to the room was quiet, and as Marinette went to set the flowers in a vase, Emilie spoke.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Marinette froze at the icy tone in which the older woman spoke. Clearly they weren’t talking about flowers. 

“How do you know?” Marinette said, her voice barely above a hush. 

“I may be stuck in the hospital, but we still get cable. I recognized your necklace.” When the girl turned, she saw that any kindness Emilie had shown her was gone. 

“I was hesitant when I found out that Adrien was dating a miraculous wielder, but knowing you had given it up gave me comfort. Those things bring nothing but pain. I refuse to let my son get caught up in that. Not after what happened with me and his father.” If she only knew. 

“I’m not doing this for power. Or, well, I am, but not to keep the power.” Marinette stammered, and then collected herself with a deep breath. “I need you to tell me how to cleave the miraculous.” 

Emilie’s expression was impassive at first, and then she merely sighed. She patted a space near her bed. 

“Why don’t you sit down and tell me what’s going on first.”

“You’re not mad?” Marinette squeaked.

“I’m choosing to hear you out first.” 

Marinette took a seat besides the woman, took a deep breath, and began. She told her about her time as Ladybug, and the choice she made over a year ago, and then about Ruse Rouge, and then about the second choice she made, and then about the guilt that had been building ever since she gave Alya the miraculous.

“I did this to them and they’re miserable.” She said, on the verge of tears. “I need to undo this.”

There was quiet between them for a moment, and then Emilie sighed. 

“Marinette, I understand, perhaps more than anyone else in the world, exactly what you’re going through. But I am living proof of what happens when you try to take the miraculous from someone before they’re ready to give it up.” She said, eyeing the pendant around Marinette’s neck. 

“But I think I can. I have a plan-” Marinette began. 

“No.” Emilie said, her voice firm and unmovable. “I refuse to give you the knowledge to throw away your life. I can’t do that to you, or to Adrien.”

“Please,” Marinette began, feeling desperate. She pulled out a loose piece of paper from her bag and jotted down her number. “Just think about it. I can’t do it without you teaching me how to do it right.” She held it out to Emilie, who regarded it with pity. With a forlorn sigh, Emilie accepted the piece of paper.

“Ok. I’ll think about it. But, if I may say something less than delicate, I don’t think the problem is the miraculous. I think it’s you.” Emilie spoke quietly, and settled her slight hand over Marinette’s. “From what Adrien’s told me, and from what I’ve seen myself, you are a smart girl. You have a ferocity and a protectiveness to you, both of which are admirable qualities. But the standards you set for yourself are too high. You strive for perfection, and blame yourself when it doesn’t come. Freeing your friends from the burden you believe you placed on them won’t help that.” 

Marinette wasn’t aware she was crying until she saw a wet teardrop bloom on the bedspread. She quickly tore her hand away to wipe her tears before they fell. She didn’t dare look at Emilie. She didn’t think she’d be able to handle that. 

Without another word, Marinette stood, nodded her thanks to the woman, and stole from the room. 

It was probably true, what Emilie had said. Over and over again, Marinette set herself up for failure. Spending her high school years pursuing a boy who wasn’t ready and trying to take down a man with all the power. Spending her first year of college trying to keep a crumbling relationship together. Trying to rid the world of magical artefacts that have been around since the dawn of time.  
But somehow facing that reality just wasn’t an option. Somehow these high expectations and impossible hurdles were the only things keeping Marinette together. She was scared to find out what would happen when she took those away. So the only way out was through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! After a longer than expected hiatus (sorry about that), I finished writing this story. I am so excited to share it with you all, and will resume posting on a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule.   
> Thanks for waiting!


	30. Two Years Ago

“Dupain-Cheng, is that you crying in the stall?”

“Chloe?” Marinette sniffed, quickly trying to wipe away her tears. Through the bottom of the stall, she saw a pair of expensive white sneakers planted just outside. 

“Are you going to come out and talk, or am I going to have to crawl on this grimy ass floor?” Marinette sighed and collected her things before she opened the stall door. Chloe said nothing, but arched a perfectly-done brow. 

“Luka and I fought again.” Marinette deflated. Chloe, on the other hand, rolled her eyes. 

“This? Again? I thought it would be something more interesting.” 

“You’re the one who made me come out of my stall.” Marinette snapped, her temper peaking. “I was perfectly happy crying on the toilet alone. And I know how that sounds, so don’t even start.” 

“I'm sorry I am taking this seriously. But you have to admit, this happens like once a week.” Chloe said, waiting as Marinette splashed water on her face to clear her red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks.

“It doesn’t happen once a week.” The dark-haired girl ran the butt of her palm over her nose, clearing away the snot. 

“Don’t hate me for this but I keep a tracker and yes it does happen once a week. At least.” Marinette gave the blonde a searing look, and pushed past Chloe. Chloe followed her into the crowded hallway.

“Listen, Marinette. While I personally ship you with he-who-shall-not-be-named,” the searing look became a flaming glare at the mention of Chat Noir, and Chloe put her hands up defensively. “I know you’ve chosen Luka and he means the world to you. I just think that the way you’re living is far from tenable. You have too much baggage. You gotta either drop a suitcase, or get a valet to help you carry everything.” The metaphor was ridiculous, but Marinette understood what Chloe was trying to convey. 

“There’s no way I’m telling him. You knowing is already more danger than I’d ever care for.” Marinette said, stopping outside of the door to her studio. “By the way, I’m giving up on trying to find out.”

At this, Marinette tried to end the conversation by making her way into the studio. She thought the threshold of the studio might be like a line of salt, keeping the demons away. But Chloe was a demon that could not be denied. 

“What do you mean you’re giving up?” Chloe gaped, following Marinette into the classroom. “That’s so rude, I spent all this effort trying to figure you out and you’re just giving up on trying to figure me out?”

“Like you said, I’ve got too much baggage. Figuring out the mystery of how you know is the baggage I’m choosing to drop.” Marinette shrugged, slumping into her station. 

“Fine I’ll tell you.” Chloe huffed, clearly trying to repress a temper tantrum. “You take the fun out of everything.

“God, you’re such a brat Chloe.” Marinette said. 

“And you’re a masochistic killjoy.” Chloe retorted. Marinette felt like shit, but even now she couldn't keep herself from smiling.

“That’s a new one.” The dark-haired girl said through giggles. Chloe rolled her eyes, but a soft smile played on her lips. 

“Come over tonight and we’ll get drunk and I’ll tell you.” And with this, Chloe turned on her heel, and strutted from the room, leaving a sea of design majors parted behind her. 

“Sorry to do patrol early today.” Ladybug sighed, watching the last of the sun slipping behind the clouds.

“Not a problem, my lady.” Chat grinned. “We’re lucky Papillette decided to attack earlier rather than later. Maybe she had evening plans.” Ladybug barely processed what he said, as her argument from earlier that day played out in her head. 

She’d blown Luka off, for the millionth time this week. They were meant to get dinner yesterday, but Papillette had other plans, because she always did. And when the fight wrapped up, Marinette was able to check her phone and see seven missed calls and multiple text messages. She ran over, with fake excuses about having fallen asleep, but the problem with having a kind, thoughtful and perceptive boyfriend was that he always knew when Marinette was lying.

“Again Marinette?” Luka asked, his irritation barely concealed behind his blue eyes. 

“Luka, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not ready to tell you what’s going on.” Marinette said. Luka was good at controlling his temper, Marinette was not. 

“I understand that. What am I saying? I don’t understand that at all.” He said, exasperated. “What could have changed so drastically in the last few months that would lead to this?” 

“I can’t tell you!” Marinette hissed, thankful Luka had moved out of his mom’s house so she couldn’t hear their argument. 

“Then at least don’t lie to me!” 

“But if I don’t lie, you keep probing me about it.”

“Because I’m your boyfriend! Fuck, Marinette, I’m supposed to care for you. I’m supposed to make sure you’re ok, and you clearly aren’t ok.”

“It’s not your job to care for me. You’re supposed to have confidence in me that I’ll take care of myself. To trust that even if I am going through something, that I’ll make it out ok on the other side. But you have this compulsive need to be the most perceptive, most intuitive, to force people to deal with their problems head on. Maybe that’s how you do it, but that is not how I do it. Ok?” Suddenly the anger was gone from the room.

“Ok.” Luka sighed, falling back onto his couch. “If you say you’re ok, then I believe you. I won’t ask about this anymore, just please don’t lie to me.”

“Ok. Fine.” Marinette said, frustration still clinging to her like static. She wasn’t done fighting. She wanted to tell him how much he infantilized her, treated her like this dainty seedling that couldn’t survive on its own. She wanted to yell about how it wasn’t fair that he got to be mad about her keeping secrets, when she was the one who had to bear the weight of the secret itself. But clearly Luka had no more fight left in him. So Marinette just bottled up her frustration.

“Ladybug!” The superhero jumped at the sound of her name. 

“Huh?” She said, hand going to her hip reflexively. 

“Are you ok? You completely zoned out.” Chat questioned, his head tilted to the side. 

“I’m fine. Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking about a school assignment. Sorry, were you saying something?”

“No, I was just rambling.” Chat smiled, ruffling Ladybug’s hair. She pouted at him, swatting his hands away from her now frizzy hair. He watched as she smoothed it out. She tried not to notice him watching. 

“You look tired. Are you sure everything’s ok?”

“I fought with my boyfriend.” She relented. “This is sometimes so hard Chat.” He nodded, and moved closer. 

“I understand. My mom was asking questions that landed a little too close to home.” And then, in a high mocking voice, he said. “Why are you always cutting your visits short? How come you don’t have a girlfriend?” Ladybug giggled at his impression of his mother. 

“No improvement on your crush?” She said. 

“No. I told you she has a boyfriend. How come everyone I like is always taken?” He sighed, flopping back. He was still in love with Ladybug, Marinette knew that. But a few months ago, Chat had begun asking questions about whether you could be in love with two people. He told her that while she would always be his first love, and would always be his partner, he had to find someone who liked him. But apparently he just found another girl with a boyfriend. Fitting luck for the black cat miraculous wielder.

“Hey, don’t be too bummed. Boyfriends come and go.” She shrugged. 

“Ladybug, that is scandalous.” His eyes went wide with shock. 

“I’m not saying you break them up! Just let the relationship run its course, and be there for her when it ends.” 

“Not bad advice.” 

“What can I say? I’m a genius.” Ladybug winked, before standing. “Ok chaton, I gotta head out.”

“Boyfriend?” He asked. 

“Actually, I’m going to get drunk with a friend.” She grinned.

“I would pay so much money to see drunk Ladybug.”

“Lucky for your wallet, you are never going to see me drunk.” She smirked, before stepping back off the roof and into the night.

She landed down on the balcony of Chloe’s apartment, rapping twice on the window with her knuckles.

“It’s open.” Chloe called from the other room. Ladybug slid the window open and dropped into the well-furnished apartment.

“If you keep showing up as Ladybug at my window, people will think that we’re fucking.” Chloe appeared from the kitchen with two french coupes full of some lavender-colored drink. 

“What’s this?” Marinette de-transformed and accepted the drink. She chose to ignore Chloe’s salacious comment. 

“Just something I threw together. Tikki, there are cookies on the table.” Chloe sat back on her sofa, stretching out like Cleopatra on a divan. The little kwami smiled and flitted over to the coffee table. 

“So.” Marinette said, curling up on the couch. “Can you please tell me how you knew I was Ladybug?”

“Ugh this is so disappointing. You’re Ladybug, you should have figured it out.” Chloe heaved dramatically.

“I have other things on my plate right now.” Marinette grumbled. 

“Fine. I think it all started at that lame party Adrien threw back in our Senior Year.”

“You mean the one where I got you and Sabrina together with my amazing advice?”

“Yes, whatever. It was something you said in your drunken state. You said you were Paris’ Greatest Detective.”   
Marinette froze, searching for the memory, and then groaned out loud when she located it. 

“I can’t believe I did that.”

“Well, that didn’t completely give it away. I thought you were just being drunk and stupid. But then I started noticing other things. Like how Ladybug only ever did exclusive videos with the Ladyblog, and how she rarely took photos with civilians, but somehow like all of your friends had selfies with her. Except for you. So, that was pretty damning evidence, but it wasn’t enough to convince me that it was you. Also, I really, really didn’t want it to be you.”

“Hey! We’d already made our truce?” Marinette frowned.

“We made a truce to be not awful to each other. Doesn’t mean you were suddenly my best friend. Anyway, the photo thing wasn’t concrete evidence. But it did give me my brilliant idea. People take pictures of Ladybug as soon as they see her, right? And every photo gives us a solid location and time. And if you could gather the photos, then you could get a clear sense of Ladybug’s path throughout any given night, including when and where she was first spotted.”

“Jesus Chloe did you search the internet for thousands of pictures of me? That feels incredibly creepy.” 

“Please, I am far too busy to be doing that myself.” Chloe scoffed, and then opened her laptop. With a couple of clicks, she entered into a strange map with lots of pin marks. “I made a program that scanned the internet for photos of Ladybug every day, which first involved teaching the program what Ladybug looked like. But once it was running, it would essentially build a map of where you’d been each night. And the first and last location was always near our school, or near your house. Which led me to believe that it was likely you.” Chloe finished, beaming with pride. Marinette, on the other hand, merely gaped. 

“I was expecting more applause and praise.” Chloe said. 

“I have so many questions. One, were you always a computer mastermind?”

“Marinette, I’m not just an incredibly beautiful girl with natural leadership skills and business acumen. I am also an incredibly fast learner.” 

“Really?”

“No. I had Sabrina code most of it. She taught me how to use it after.”

“So Sabrina knows?” Marinette said in a high pitched voice. Chloe deflated.

“She knows maybe a little bit. But she has never told anyone. I promise.” Marinette groaned, dragging her hand down her face. 

“Choosing to ignore that. Why didn’t you confront me about this as soon as you found out?”

“I guess we were getting along well. I didn’t want to mess that up.” She said quietly. 

“Thanks. I really appreciate that.” Marinette smiled. She wanted to talk more, but the akuma siren began to wail.

“I guess that’s my cue.” She stood, transforming into Ladybug. “God I am so sick of Papillette’s bullshit. Doesn’t she have a life to live?”

“You know,” Chloe said, setting her drink down. “If you don’t want to be Ladybug anymore, you can always find someone else to take it up.”

“Very funny Chloe. I’m not giving you the Ladybug miraculous.” 

“Oh God I was not talking about me. I don’t want any of that shit show.” Chloe scoffed. “There are so many people in Paris, at least one of them should be up to your standards.”


	31. Present

Marinette nestled closer to Adrien, wondering how many more days she had with him. How many more times would she be able to nestle close to him? To have him wrap his arms around her and tell her he loved her? Surely those days were numbered. 

Suddenly, her phone began to buzz, with an unknown number written on the screen. 

“Are you gonna get that?” He asked, pausing the movie they were watching. 

“It’s probably spam.” She shrugged. But as soon as the call ended, it began again. 

“Someone’s really trying to get a hold of you.” 

“Ugh, fine.” Marinette shrugged, rolling out of his warmth to answer the phone. “Hi, may I ask who’s calling?”

“Marinette, it’s Emilie. I’ve changed my mind. Can you come to the hospital?” Marinette felt her blood run cold. Emilie sounded hurried, almost desperate. 

“I can’t right now. What about later?” 

“I can’t later, I’m in examinations all afternoon and then visiting hours are over.” 

“Well what about tomorrow?” Marinette felt Adrien’s eyes on her back, and her pulse accelerated.

“No, no. It has to be today. This can’t wait.” 

“Ok. I’ll head over.” Marinette sighed, dreading the lie she would have to tell Adrien. The call ended, and she composed herself. 

“Who was that?” He asked.

“It was a classmate. They’re locked out of the studio and called me to let them in. I’m so sorry to cut our date short.” She explained. 

“It’s no worries! We’ll meet up later tonight?” He asked. 

“Yeah!” She said, although she wasn’t quite sure she’d have the emotional capacity to see him after meeting with Emilie. Her mind was already racing as panic overtook her. What had made Emilie change her mind about teaching Marinette the incantation? And why was she so urgent all of a sudden?

“Do you want to walk together? My school is right next to your apartment anyway.” He asked, stretching and sliding his shirt over his toned abs.

“Sure.” Marinette forced a smile. She’d picked the wrong excuse. With little option, she stealthily snuck the scroll into her bag, and followed Adrien downstairs. 

“So Nino and I were talking. He and Alya are planning on moving in together next year. Isn’t that awesome?” Adrien said, lacing his fingers through hers. She tore her thoughts from Emilie and the miraculous, and focused on Adrien. That was the least she could do, since things were coming to a close. 

“I think Alya mentioned something. You’re going to lose Nino as a roommate, how do you feel about that?”

“You know, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad. But they’ve been planning it forever, and I’m happy Nino’s going to be happy.” 

“Yeah. Alya’s probably really glad to get out of her parents’ house.” Marinette laughed. 

“What about you?” He asked.

“Huh?” Marinette blinked. 

“Do you think you’d ever want to move out of your parents’ apartment?” 

“You know, I haven’t really thought about it. I mean it’s not really an option right now since I’m not making a salary. But maybe when I’m done with college and have actual money. Although it could be years before I make any actual money.” She laughed. 

“Don’t say that! You’re going to make it, you’ve already been noticed by a few designers. And you’ve also got Chloe as a brand manager. You can’t fail.” He winked, and she couldn’t help but giggle. This is what she wanted, more than anything. She wanted to be able to go for a walk with her boyfriend, and not worry about heroes or the fate of the city. She wanted to have existential crises about her success as a fashion designer, not as the savior of Paris. 

“Thanks Adrien.” She smiled, reaching up to peck him on the cheek. 

“You know. I’m going to have an empty room in the apartment. I don’t think I have much need for it, but you could use it as a make-shift workshop if you-” Whatever he was going to say was cut off as the words died on his lips. 

“Earth to Adrien?” Marinette said, following his gaze. A girl was waiting for the bus, smiling to herself at something on her phone. Marinette recognized her immediately. 

“Is that Lila?” Marinette squinted, trying to get a better look at the girl. She looked more or less unchanged, except for the fact that she was dangerously thin.

“I thought she left the city. Didn’t Chloe say something about seeing on social media that she’d moved back to Italy with her family?” Adrien said. “Should we say hi?” 

Marinette was about to laugh and reject that suggestion flat out. But, just her shitty luck, Lila looked up at them as they were passing. 

“Adrien Agreste, is that you?” She smiled, her green eyes going wide. 

“Hi Lila, how are you?” He replied politely, greeting her. Marinette, meanwhile, tried not to grimace. 

“I’m so good.” She smiled wide. “What about you? Are you still modeling?”

“Ah, no.” Marinette knew when Adrien was forcing it, and he was really forcing it now. “I gave it up back in high school.”

“Oh that’s a shame. I was just on my way to a shoot, the photographer would have loved to meet you.”

“I thought you were living in Italy.” He said, and Marinette began to grow impatient. Emilie was waiting for her, and the window was closing. She had huge, fate-changing, world shattering business to deal with. She couldn’t wait for her too-polite boyfriend to make idle chat with an old rival. 

“I’m going back and forth. My boyfriend’s back there, but I’m just getting so many offers over here.” She laughed. 

“Hi Lila, so good to see you, but we’re actually in kind of a hurry. So, bye!” Marinette said, taking Adrien’s hand and tugging him along.

“Hey, I wasn’t done talking to her.” Adrien said, his brow’s furrowing. 

“I was.” Marinette grumbled. 

“You haven’t seen her in years, are you still holding a grudge?” He said, seeming irritated. Marinette dropped his hand, and massaged her temples. 

“I’m not holding a grudge, I just have better places to be.”

“You could afford to be nicer to her.” He said, frowning. Marinette tried not to snap back. Instead, she took two deep breaths to collect herself. 

“Adrien, I love you so much. And one of the things I love most about you is that you’re so nice to everyone, even people who don’t deserve it. I’m not like that, I’m not that good. In my mind, Lila doesn’t deserve it, so I’m not going to waste my efforts.” Marinette explained, noting internally that this was the closest they’ve ever come to fighting. But Adrien was Adrien, and he nodded, taking Marinette’s hands in his. 

“I understand.” He said, kissing her knuckles.

“Thank you for understanding.” She smiled.

“I wish I could be more like you.” He noted, as they continued on.

“You want to be worse?” Marinette laughed, squeezing his hand.

“I want everyone to like me so much, even if I don’t like them. It’s exhausting.”

“You need to realize just how special you are. Your time and emotions are worth something, and not everyone has the right to occupy them.”

“Have you been talking to my therapist?” He laughed.

“No, although I’m thinking maybe I’m in the wrong industry.” She grinned. 

They parted ways at Adrien’s apartment, and Marinette walked several blocks away, before ducking into an alley. 

“Ok. Trixx, are you ready to do this?” She asked, bringing the kwami out of her bag. 

“I’m ready if you are.” She nodded. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve been stuck to this tacky necklace for millennia, I’m ready for some freedom.” Marinette had been surprised that it was so easy to win Trixx over. But apparently freedom was an easy sell to most kwamis.

“Ok, let’s pounce.” 

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Marinette de-transformed in Emilie’s room after entering through the window. 

“Marinette, I know I’ve said that it’s too dangerous to try to cleave the miraculous, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing this, but I’ve realized something recently that changed my mind. Adrien is in danger, and it’s the only way I can think to help him.” Emilie said, her eyes wet with tears. It only took Marinette a minute to realize what had happened.

“How did you find out that he’s Chat Noir?” 

“You knew?” Emilie gasped, that dormant rage sparking to life again.

“I just found out. That’s why I came to you initially. He doesn’t know I know. Now why don’t you rest, and tell me what happened?” Marinette approached the pacing woman and set her hands on Emilie’s shoulders. The woman whirled around, her flaxen hair coming undone from it’s loose bun, and falling around her face limply. The shine in her eyes had gone dull, and for the first time, the glitz and glamour that surrounded this woman evaporated. 

“I can’t rest when my son is out there putting himself in danger. How did Gabriel let this happen? How could Adrien be so irresponsible?” 

Marinette saw Emilie plainly for the first time since they’d met. Her dull eyes red from tears and exhaustion, greasy hair tied up in a hasty bun, her bony hands shaking from over-exertion and muscular atrophy. 

“Emilie, I know you’re scared. But just tell me what happened, and then we can come up with a solution to save Adrien.” 

“I was looking through old family photos, and I noticed the ring. I’ve seen it on him every time he came over, why didn’t I put it together sooner? How could I not have known my son was a hero? What kind of mother does that make me?” Emilie began to weep, and Marinette rushed to her, stilling her pacing with an embrace. 

“It’s ok, Emilie. It’s ok.” She said, soothing the woman as she cried. 

“I’m sorry. You’re so young. You don’t need me putting this on you.” The blonde woman pulled back, wiping tears from her eyes. 

“It’s ok. Now, when you're ready, tell me how we can save Adrien.”


	32. Two Years Ago

It was as if the world around her had gone still. The boat stopped rocking, the sound of the record playing in the background went mute. All she could hear were Luka’s words repeated over and over.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t do this anymore.

“Marinette?” She jumped at the sound of his voice. “Did you hear what I said?” 

“Yeah. I did.” She meant to sound more understanding, more present in this conversation. But her words came out dead. 

“You look pale. If this is too much, we can try talking about it later.” A look of concern passed over his face, and in that moment self-loathing came crashing down on her. Like a wave it swallowed her up and pulled her under the surface. 

“No. I can’t make you do this anymore.” She bit into the words with a surprising ferocity.

“What?”

“Luka, I’ve been horrible to you. I’m dishonest, and secretive, and ungrateful for all the time you spend trying to help me. Christ, even when you’re breaking up with me, you stop to see if there’s a better time that would work for me.” As she spoke, tears broke free of their cages and poured over her cheeks. 

“Marinette, I-” he began, and she shook her head. His concern made the storm in her chest rage harder. 

“What’s wrong with me? Have I always been so awful?” 

“Marinette-”

“You have every right to break up with me. You deserve someone better, someone who isn’t a selfish little brat.”

“Marinette!” His voice broke through the storm, forcing her to look at him. 

“I don’t think you’re dishonest, or secretive, or ungrateful or selfish or a brat. I think you need help. And I want so badly to be the person to help, and I think you want me to be that person too. But clearly I’m not the person that’s going to help you. So I’m removing myself from the equation.” He finished, looking down at the ground. 

They sat in silence for a while longer, while the last of their tears quietly streamed down their cheeks.

“I’m sorry I’m a mess.” She sighed, the storm finally bearable. 

“I’m sorry I forced you to try to pretend everything was ok. Do you want me to walk you home?” 

“No, I can at least do that on my own.” She forced a smile, and gathered her things. 

“Whenever you’re ready, I hope we can be friends.” Marinette said, standing at the threshold of his room. 

“I hope so too.” He smiled. 

She was able to keep it together long enough to get back to her room, but as soon as she sat at her desk, the second wave of sadness hit. The warmth of Luka’s reassuring words had faded and couldn’t hold back the rush of frustration. 

She’d fucked everything up and dragged him down with her. She should have seen this sooner, should have cut him free of her so at least he could try to be happy. His words echoed in her mind again. 

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t do this anymore. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” 

“I know.” Marinette looked down. The little kwami’s eyes were glistening with tears.

“I’m sorry Tikki, I wasn’t good enough.” Marinette said, tears beginning to fall faster than she could wipe them up. 

“You are good enough Marinette. This is all just too hard, especially for someone your age.” 

“But I can’t quit. I can’t leave Chat alone.”

“You can find someone else to fill your role. It will be hard, but he’ll understand.”

“And I haven’t figured out how to end the spell on Emilie.” She protested.

“About that. Marinette, I wasn’t honest when I said I couldn't read that scroll. I know what it says.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Marinette felt the pang of betrayal.

“It’s dangerous, Marinette. I didn’t want to lose you. But that was selfish of me. If this is the last thing keeping you from being happy, you need to do it.”

“Are you sure?” Panic rose in her voice as she the weight of what they were actually discussing settled on her. 

“I’m absolutely sure.”

“But what about you? We won’t get to see each other anymore, and it’s not fair to you.”

“I don’t view it as unfair at all. I feel so incredibly lucky that I got to spend all this time with you.” Tikki floated up and pressed her head against Marinette’s nose. She closed her eyes, and leaned into the touch, acutely aware that these moments now had an end date.

“Thank you. So what do I need to do to heal Emilie?”

“Kwamis used to roam the universe freely, but we were unable to be perceived by humans. Until a mage found a way to enchant jewels to hold our power and manifest a physical form. The incantation to repair any miraculous is the same spell he originally used. You can see it here.” Tikki said, pointing to the script at the top of the page.

“What about the bottom stuff?”

“Well, that would be the opposite spell.”

“I see.” Marinette said, catching onto the meaning behind Tikki’s somber tone. 

“I’ve never asked before. But are you happy being tethered to the miraculous?” Marinette rested her head against the desk, so her eyes were level with Tikki’s small figure. 

“I love being able to interact with humanity. Being your kwami, and all the other Ladybug’s kwami has brought me so much joy. But sometimes I miss my old life.” A distant gaze passed over the kwami’s big eyes. 

“What did you do back then?”

“We were all together back then, and we used to travel the cosmos and visit many different planets. I liked Earth the best though. Humans are so creative. There was something nice in being able to fly freely with all my friends by my side. But again, I wouldn’t trade being your kwami for the world.” 

Later that night, after Tikki had fallen asleep, Marinette lay in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling as her mind raced. 

“I’m giving up the miraculous.” She whispered to herself, saying out loud for the first time. "I'm not going to be Ladybug."

Immediately, she felt panic beat at her chest. But when that passed, relief warmed her and lulled her to sleep.


	33. Present

Ruse Rouge dropped down onto her balcony, and de-transformed. Her body felt electrified, almost drunk off of the satisfaction of her newly gained knowledge. Emilie knew everything Marinette would need to cleave the miraculous. The exact pronunciation of the incantation, the stance she’d need to take, even the way she should time her breaths. 

It would take a few more practice sessions to get everything right, but she was close. Soon she could destroy the miraculous, and end this chapter of their lives. Adrien and Alya could move on. She could move on.   
As she dropped down into her room, she checked her phone. 

“Hey Mari,” a text from Adrien read. “I thought it would be fun to get a nice dinner tonight, so I made a reservation at 8. I’ll come pick you up at 7:30!” 

The electricity in Marinette’s bones began to buzz, turning from a drunken, powerful feeling to something more sinister. She read the next text. 

“I’m downstairs”

And then.

“You’re probably getting ready, I’ll just come up. Hopefully your parents won’t feed me too much before dinner.”

And then.

“Everything ok? Your parents say you’re not home yet.”

And then.

“Marinette? Please tell me you’re safe. I'm really worried.” 

She’d barely read the last text before she threw the hatch to her bedroom open. It banged violently against the floorboards, but Marinette was already halfway down the stairs. She nearly tumbled into the living room, her chest heaving. Her parents were sat on either side of Adrien. The air felt heavy and charged, the way it did just before a storm. 

“I am so sorry.” She gasped. All three pairs of eyes were on her in an instant, and Marinette practically felt her heart crack when she saw the glassy look in Adrien’s wide green eyes. 

“Marinette, where were you?” Her mother scolded, though her tone was marred by worry. 

“I was napping. I just woke up.” The girl lied. 

“But Adrien checked your room, he said he didn’t see anyone there.” 

“I was on the balcony.” She tried again, though the words felt sticky in her mouth. 

“Oh, well, as long as you’re ok.” Sabine blinked, setting her hand over her heart, as if to steady it. 

“I’m so sorry guys. Adrien do you want to come up while I get ready?” He nodded, and followed behind her silently. 

“I can’t believe I did that. I’ll try to be quick, although will the restaurant mind if we’re late?” She said, rushing through her room, trying to tug her hair into a state suitable to be seen in public. Behind her, Adrien took a seat on her chaise. 

“Marinette?” Adrien asked. “What’s really going on?”

The girl froze, her fingers tangled in her hair. 

“What do you mean?”

“I checked the balcony Marinette. You weren’t there.” 

Marinette lowered her shaking hand. The feeling of satisfaction and resolution was gone, as though it had never been there at all. Terror comfortably took its place. 

What did she do? Keep lying until she found one that stuck? That had been her course of action for so long, it felt second nature. But when she screwed her eyes shut, pressing her palms over her eyelids, all she could see was the way Adrien had looked up at her. So close to breaking down. And then the thought of telling him anything but the truth felt like an unforgivable sin. A line she could never come back from. 

“I’m sorry. Please know that my intention in this was never to hurt you.” She began. “I wanted to do the exact opposite. But no matter what I do, I just wind up hurting you.”

“What do you mean Marinette?” She still hadn’t looked at him. Instead, she took her necklace off, and gripped it in her hands. The cool metal dug into her palms, piercing the skin. It was only then, that the pain of the sharp tip drawing blood brought her to action. 

“Adrien I know who you are.” 

“How?” He said, in a voice barely audible. Marinette came closer, dropping to her knees in front of him. She held her hands out, letting the pendant fall loose from her palms. 

It hung between them, flashing in the lamplight, a beacon to her guilt. 

They didn’t speak. Marinette stayed there, knelt before him, head down, necklace dangling in front of her. It felt as though she was waiting for the guillotine to strike the back of her neck. 

“How long have you known?”

“A few months. I saw you transform outside your window. It’s why I rejoined the team. Or, partially why.”

“What was the other part?” Marinette felt herself growing more desperate by the second. All of his questions had been so neutral. She wanted him to yell, or cry, or storm out. To bring the guillotine down on her. So she said the thing that would. 

“I was planning on destroying the miraculous. Your mom may have also been helping me.” 

“What?” He gasped. 

“Adrien, you have to understand from my perspective. I’ve watched all of my loved ones suffer under the responsibility the miraculous bring. And I just couldn’t watch you suffer anymore. Or Alya, or Nino.” 

“What does this have to do with them?” Adrien said, the panic in his voice breaking through. 

“I think you know Adrien. You’ve essentially lived with both of them for a year. You know that they never drink, and always vanish during akuma attacks. All the same rules that you have.” Adrien seemed to mull this over. And then the emotion that he'd been holding back broke through. He buried his face in his hands, and Marinette could feel him shaking under her hands. 

“I can’t believe this happened again. I’m so stupid.” He gasped through sobs. 

“No, Adrien, you’re not stupid.” Marinette cooed, rushing to soothe him. 

“But you all knew! You all shared this double life, but didn’t think to include me in on it! And the signs were so obvious, I was just too dense to even notice it.” He cried out. 

“It’s not like that at all. I promise. Alya and Nino don’t know you’re Chat Noir, or know that I know who they are. You’re not dense Adrien. The only reason I even found out is because of sheer dumb luck.” She reached up and wiped away his tears with her thumb. As she did, the fox miraculous fell to the ground with a clatter, but the noise was quickly lost to the sounds of his sobs. 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you I knew right away. I never should have lied. I just wanted to protect you, and try to fix my past mistakes. But it was selfish. I’ve been so, so selfish.”

"I-" He began, and then started over. "I'm not sure I understand everything right now. But thank you for being honest." He took a stuttering sigh, and leaned into the palm of her hand. This was a nice moment. And Marinette wished she could just stop there. Pretend that all was well. 

“That’s not the only secret I kept.” She pulled her hands away, wrapping them around herself. 

“What do you mean?” He said, his brows furrowed. Without speaking, Marinette stood, and crossed to her desk. Even after a year, she still knew exactly where she kept it. A small, unmarked USB taped to the back of her monitor. She thought about throwing it out, but never had the heart to follow through. 

She plugged it into the computer, and in seconds had the video up. 

“Is this working? Oh, yeah, oops. I can edit this out later.” The sound of Marinette’s voice echoed around the room. “Ok, Hi Chat, it’s me, Ladybug. Why would I introduce myself? Ok. Shoot. This is harder than I thought it would be. I guess I should have known that it was never going to be easy, but I thought I’d at least be able to stop shaking. Ok. No more distractions.”

“Chat, if you’re watching this, it’s because I’m quitting being Ladybug.”


	34. One Year Ago

Ladybug wished the suit didn’t cover her fingernails. She desperately wanted to chew them right now, or to do something to calm her nerves while she waited for Chat. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispered, knowing Tikki could hear her. “I feel like I might throw up.” A chill brushed through the air, sending the tendrils of the willow tree scattering around her. She shivered, both from cold and from nerves.

“You look cold my lady, maybe this kitty could warm you up.” Chat said, startling his partner. She looked up to see him crouched on a sturdy branch of the tree.

“You scared me.” She tried to smile, but knew it wasn’t convincing. 

“You ok? You look a little sad.”

“I’m ok. Just a little tired.”

“So what’s up? Is there an akuma?” 

“No, I was just thinking we could maybe hang out? With the akuma attacks, we rarely get to spend time together like we used to.” She saw his skeptical look, and held up the bag of pastry she was holding. “I brought pain au chocolat.” 

“You should have led with that Bugaboo.” He grinned, extending a hand down to her. She took it, and allowed herself to be hoisted up into the tree. She held out the bag, watching as he greedily plunged his hand into the bag, bringing out two pastries. 

“You act like a feral cat. Don’t your parents feed you?”

“I actually don’t live with my parents.” This struck her as odd. When she tried to imagine Chat Noir as a civilian, she always imagined him as part of a big, noisy, happy family, with lots of shared meals and game nights. 

“Well, whoever your guardian is, they should be feeding you more.” Maybe if she had more time, she’d learn more about his living situation. But she didn’t have more time. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Chat asked, brushing puff pastry from his cheek. 

“You’re too perceptive.” She smiled ruefully. 

“So you’re not ok.” 

“No, Chat. I’m not.” She dropped down from the comforting cocoon of branches, looking out at the dark river. 

“What’s wrong? You know you can talk to me.” He dropped down as well, and she could feel him standing close. 

“You have been my best friend for so many years and I couldn’t ask for a better, stronger, funnier partner.” She gathered up the courage to turn to face him, taking his hand in hers. “So I need you to know that what I’m doing has nothing to do with you.”

“Ladybug, I-” She could see realization dawning in his eyes. 

“Chat, I just can’t do this anymore. Being Ladybug for so long has thrown my entire life into disarray. I’m hurting so many of my loved ones with this secret. So I’m-”

“Stop.” He said, his breath high and panicked. She waited, the words hanging on her lips. “I just need a minute.” 

He took his hand back, and he began to pace. 

“I’m so sorry Chat. Again, this isn’t about you. It’s about what I need to do.” 

“But what about what I need?” He turned, a mixture of desperation and betrayal written clear in his eyes. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Don’t worry, I have a replacement and I’ll make sure they’re just as strong so-”

“That’s not what I mean!” He shouted. “I mean you. I can’t do this without you.”

“Then give up the miraculous.” She said, the words coming out barely audible. It felt like she was whispering something sinful. “Do what I’m doing, pass it on to someone else. You deserve your freedom as well.”

“You don’t understand, Ladybug. This.” He said, gesturing to himself. “This is my freedom.” 

“Well it’s not mine.” Her voice broke as she began speaking, and she began to cry. She was crying a lot these days. The cat superhero’s anger broke as she let herself fall apart before him. She sank to the ground, burying her face in her hands, and let out long ugly sobs. In an instant he was by her side, drawing her into his arms. 

“I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything together,” she said, her voice torn and broken. “to force all my unhappiness down. But I can’t do it anymore. I’m so unhappy.” Then she wasn’t able to talk anymore, as she choked on her tears. He just held her closer, and Ladybug cried for a long time.

“I’m sorry for getting mad.” He said. “I just don’t want to let you go. It’s selfish.”

“Well, I’m being selfish too. I think we all get to be a little selfish.” She sighed, pulling her head up to look at him.

“I just can’t imagine not having you in my life.”

“I know. But you know that I don’t stop existing once I take the mask off. I’ll be watching over you, always.” She took his hand once more, and squeezed. 

“Like my own guardian angel?” He said, raising a brow. 

“Exactly.” She smiled. 

“I always knew there was something angelic about you.” And she couldn’t help but laugh. 

“This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” She sighed, readjusting herself to sit next to him. She let her head rest on his shoulder. 

“What did you have planned?”

“I thought we’d hang out a bit more, and then maybe go on patrol together. Maybe stop some crime. You know, usual stuff. So you’d have a better last memory of me.” She hiccuped as she spoke, trying to bite back another wave of tears. 

“I prefer this. Not that I prefer you crying uncontrollably, or prefer you leaving. I just… you’re always putting on a brave face for me. I’m glad you let me in.”

“I’m glad I let you in too. I should have done it sooner.” They sat together for what felt like hours, watching the city descend into the darkest hours, and then begin to grow light again. When they heard the first birds chirping, Ladybug took her head off of Chat’s shoulder and stood up. 

“Please don’t leave.” He pleaded, still holding her hand. 

“I have to go.” She said, as a gust of wind blew through the tree. Leaves showered down around them, and a few clung to Chat’s golden hair. She wanted to reach up and brush them away, to braid her fingers through his hair, to hold him close and never let go. But she knew she had to be strong. 

She dropped his hand, and felt the early morning air stung her palm through her suit. 

“If being Chat Noir ever begins to feel like too much, and stops feeling like freedom, you need to know you can move on. You’ve given the city so much, and I want, more than anything else in the world, for you to give yourself the same. Please, do it for me.” He nodded, his bottom lip trembling. 

“I will.” He croaked out, trying desperately not to cry. Ladybug turned, preparing to zip off for the last time. 

“Ladybug?” The superhero paused, mid-step, and looked over her shoulder.

Chat Noir was bathed in the pink light of dawn, a halo of willow around him. 

“Made you look.” He said, half-smiling.

She smiled, and it felt genuine for the first time in a very long time. Then she zipped away, feeling the cold morning light stinging the tears in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing Monday's update!


End file.
